Need help talking to my husband

I get it. I initially took my husband with me to a seminar on Rny, and he was very emphatic that he did not want me to go through with it. Not because he didn't want me to lose weight or improve my health, but because he was scared to death I wouldn't survive the surgury our have something terrible happen to me as a result. 2 years later I learned about the Vsg and new immediately that I was going to do it. He went with me to that seminar and again attempted to talk me out of it. I had to tell him that I get he doesn't want me to do it, but I was going to anyway. I was gentle of course and did what I could to help him along. A few things helped- he joined the program that I was going through and agreed to attend support meetings with me. A few days before surgery he was freaking out, but he at least understood where I was coming from. 3 days post op once he knew I was Ok from surgury he switched over to figuring out how to best support me. He saw me struggling like heck 1 week out and was scared I would eat something that would kill me due to not respecting the healing process. He cleaned the house out of all the junk and went on the diet with me. Long story short, he was 100% supportive once he was able to get past his fear. We went though another  bout of this when I had plastic surgery. He was a bit of a douche bag on that round, but once he truly accepted that I wasn't going to leave him because I lost all the weight and had the surgery to clean up the loose skin he finally made peace with all of it. Try to figure out what is motivating his desire to prevent you from following through with surgery and address that. Take him to support groups if possible. Give him stats on how 95% of folks are unable to take of the weight and keep it off. Good luck!

Thanks for sharing your story.  It's true that my husband is mostly just worried about something happening to me and wants me to be here for our family.  And I know he will be supportive if I can get him on board and to understand that this is the best thing for me.

its hard to wrap your mind around the idea of cutting out part of a healthy stomach.  here are a few ways he might think about it:

1.  this so called healthy stomach is making you sick by allowing you to be obese and have related health issues.  As such its not really healthy.

2.  The human body has lots of redundancy - two kidneys, extra brain capacity etc.  Stomach has excess capacity for times of food shortage or excess which are no longer part of our lifestyle.  you are removing something you don't need .

3. you are downsizing your stomach to the right size for you and your nutritional needs.  No need to drive around in a giant cadillac when a prius suits your needs.

hope this helps.   gl.  diane

That's a great list. I'll definitely point that all out to him! :)

I just read the SCD.  It actually doesn't sound too far from what bariatric patients should be eating.  

As for hubby, keep talking with him.  He has a disease that he found a way to live more comfortably with.  WLS is the most medically support way to fight our disease - obesity.  

I wish you luck, I would feel misunderstood and sad in your shoes, but keep your head in the game.  

Well my husband was against it all the way. He thought I could die and all kinds of crap. So I went out of state to have surgery and he works a lot so he couldn'****ch my son. So my 21 yr old daughter went w me and I brought my son solved that problem. I saved my own money for copayment hotel gas I drove. I did it all myself he thought if he didn't help me it wasn't possible. So now I'm at 13 mos and I'm skinny lol he loves my new body and he is so happy that I'm happy.l love my new life and I'm glad I did this for myself. You no now he worries I don't eat enough you no you can never can make them happy lol. Make yourself happy.