huge complaints before surgery 16 days

I'm so upset with my partner he has never been overweight a day in his life and suddenly for the past two days seems to have a problem with the fact that I'm not on a diet now I'm feeling like he is worried that I am unable to follow any regiment for weightloss more than a month or two and because I'm not dieting before my 2week pre op diet I'm this weak person and that his sister lost weight without surgery why can't I?  I'm frustrated because he thinks this "surgery is the easy way" I said really?  "You think going to the extreme of surgery is the easy way"  "you are mistaken my love"  Surgery isn't easy it is an extreme that I decided it is an extreme I'm willing to go through for my health!  I said I hope this isnt the kind of support I'm gonna get after my surgery because I would be happier if you think the quiet part!. In 16 days I'm going to be sleeved and I'm going to be smaller and healthier and i will have some real hurdles not easy ones either.  I'm ready to be on the losers bench so long time ago wish I could've done it years ago.thanks for reading my Rant!  You all know because you are having or have already had surgery!  Your support means everything to me!  Thanks in advance.

He also said why dont you have goals I told him I do have goals he was like oh yeh what are they?

1. Get off my c-pap

2. Lose 133 lbs

3. Be able to cross my legs

4. Have my outside match the beautiful person i am inside.

5. Be a comfortable weight so i can be more active.

Just to name a few.  Wish he could be overweight 1 day to see what it feels like.

Is he able to go to any support group meetings with you or a seminar with your surgeon?  Is couples therapy an option that you could consider?  

Lots of times this lack of support from partners comes from fear and lack of information.  So working on addressing those things might help.  

He will come around I'm sure after he sees the results.

I know easier said than done, but remember you're doing this for YOU!! I know you want your partners support and you may not have it fully right now. Wait until post op and he see's you succeeding......I bet you will get his full support! Don't get down! You're about to reclaim your health! Good luck to you!

Thank you so much answers like this makes me fee so much better I know he will come around but I was hoping for his support more especially after 15 years of seeing me struggle with my weight.

It's entirely possible that he's afraid of what will happen-- both on the operating table and afterward-- and this is how he handles his anxiety. (I know my husband was terrified I'd die in surgery!)

I didn't think of that I know he loves me he is the love of my life I'm hoping the weight loss will strengthen our connection not make it more solid than it already is!

What a great list! It could be that he's just anxious of the changes you're ready to go thru but he isn't. He might also might not have a lot of info about wls. The whole my sister, my cousin, my friend, the my whoever lost weight without surgery why can't you sounds like an excuse for his insecurities & a way to get you to change your mind. He doesn't realize that surgery is not the easy way out & you'll still have to change your diet, this "tool", just makes it so that it'll work this time around, provided that you do your part too.

Maybe going to a support group & some seminars might open up his eyes a little bit to let him know that this isn't easy, & he won't lose you, which ultimately might be what he's worried about, even if he doesn't say it in those words.

That's very nice of you I feel better already. The goal list is small compared to all my actual goals but these were ones i could remember off the top of my head. 

Thanks again!

My husband tried "negotiating" deals with me until the day before surgery. I held firm, told him I needed his help and support but I was moving forward. 6 months later, he is my biggest supporter and so happy with the improvements in my health (diabetes in remission, normal blood lipids and ready to ditch my cpap which I've used for 2 years!)

He was terrified of the surgery. He got over that as soon as I came home from the hospital. Yours will come around too.