what would you have said?

Ok I am 5 plus years out and still at goal and living such a great life because of it.  I work at an art gallery and the other day a SMO woman comes in. we chatted quite a bit and she was very friendly.  she sat down while i wrote up her purchase and began talking about how much her back hurt and what a mess it was  and how limiting it was etc.  I remembered how much my back hurt when I was MO and how shopping was an ordeal and I needed to sit often etc.  It crossed my mind to tell this woman how heavy I had once been and how much vsg had helped.   But it was a stranger making a purchase so I said nothing.  I think I could have found a polite way to mention my vsg experience but should I have done so?  What would you have done?  diane

I don't think I would have said anything to a customer, but in any other situation, I would have.

My policy is never to advocate for bariatric surgery unless the person, whoever it may be, has first expressed an interest in it. WLS receives so much media attention these days, it would hard for anyone who needs the surgery not to hear something about it. 

A correlative policy is that once someone has said something, the floodgates open. They'll hear more about my surgery than they may have wanted. Some people like to remain private about their WLS; I trumpet it to anyone who wants to hear.

psychoticparrot

That's so hard, I understand.  Something like "I totally understand, I walked in those shoes once", could be a welcoming statement, to having someone be big time offended.  We look at is as an invitation, saying it's OK to as us questions about how we did it.  But I think maybe we forget how it felt to be MO or SMO and how sensitive a subject it was.

I agree that you did the right thing.

I probably would have mentioned that I used to be MO and know where she is coming from, just to make her not feel awkward and not think I'm being unsympathetic. If she pried further into what I did, etc, I think I would eventually reveal my choice to have surgery and put a huge disclaimer at the end of it.

I know that when I was MO, I would have been grumpy to have a complete stranger tell me what I should do to lose weight, doubly so if I was a customer.

Ditto to saying nothing.  She has probably already heard "it" from others....just as all of us have in the past or maybe still if not at goal weight.  It always annoyed me regardless of the person delivering the message.😡

I am sure that if you had mentioned it it could have possibly helped her to research and make an educated decision for herself

  I honestly think I wouldn't have been able to shu. My mouth!

"I understand how you feel, I felt the same until I had WLS"

You commiserate, but don't expand until they ask more.

Before I decided to have weight loss surgery, I was at school sitting in the academic counseling office waiting to speak to someone when some woman I had never seen or spoken to before who was also waiting got up, crossed the room, and decided to tell me all about how she had RNY and it was the best decision she'd ever made and I should look into it. I had already been considering the sleeve at that point, but hadn't started the process. And you know what? I found that VERY rude. 

I won't advocate my surgery to other people because I don't know how they feel about their weight. Maybe being heavy doesn't bother them. Maybe they prefer it. Maybe they don't have any health issues from it. Not to mention, we all have to make HUGE changes and sacrifices if we want to be successful, and a lot of people aren't ready to do that. I wouldn't want them to think they could just head to the hospital, say they want it, and wake up 100 pounds lighter the next day.

If someone expresses interest, I answer questions. You did the right thing.