In a funk..one year out ..have met below goal..but now what

I dont know what to do now.  I'm lost.  I have met below my goal.  I'm physically fit and healthy according to dr.  I still see the fat girl.   I can do so much now.  But I feel like i have lost me and I dont know where she went or who I am.  Feeling down 

Okay, just going to put it out there. Therapy.

It is a hard adjustment to go from morbidly obese to a normal weight. Also, when you reach goal the excitement of losing ends and the drudgery of maintenance begins. The compliments are fewer and farther apart and sometimes motivation wanes. There is nothing wrong or shameful about getting help to transition to this new life and body you are dealing with. I wish I had sought help sooner. I sort of waited until I hit a really heavy emotional low. I do not recommend waiting that long!

I second the suggestion for therapy.  My therapist has been so valuable to me throughout this entire process.  

Earlier this year, about a year out, I really went through a scary period of feeling completely disconnected from myself and my life.  I'd gone from a sedentary super morbidly obese "happy" person to being super active, almost overweight, and actually really happy.  I had too many moments of not recognizing myself and, having lost a friend to dysmorphia, I was pretty terrified.  

I continued therapy and talked about this with my therapist often.  I shared how I was feeling on Facebook.  I met with a dance movement therapist a few times.  I was making progress, but slowly.  Then my dad found out that his cancer had spread to his brain and he needed to have surgery.  And I guess all of that, and everything that has happened since, sort of spread up the process since, these days, I'm much too distracted by everything that's going on with my dad's cancer to be too concerned about who I am :P  I recommend the slower process of therapy than the process I ended up going through!  

I think it's just really scary to have basically redefined who I am at the age of almost 40.  A complete overhaul in a matter of months, and it's still ongoing.  I think that we're not super well equipped to deal with change so quickly.  And I thought that I'd "just" be losing weight, you know?  And I haven't just lost weight.  Some days my life seems completely unrecognizable to me from what it was 20 months ago.  But I know that there are constants - my partners, my family, my squawky cat, the TV shows I like, singing.. I try to remember those constants.  

I agree with the others on therapy, it may be very helpful to work through your head with the help of a pro.

Also, why not pick a new goal to work towards? You could work towards finishing a 5k or riding in a bike race (there are plenty with ~20-mile sections). Or go for something non-health-related, like taking a photography class or starting to volunteer somewhere? Having something new to focus on might be helpful.

My NP told me that it takes about 18 months for our brains to catch up to our bodies wrt our body image.  So I'm not surprised that you are still thinking "fat girl".  It took me a while to adjust to my new body.  You'll get there. 

I went thru a little down-period when I reached goal.  Life goals were easy when the most important part of my existence was predicated on not eating.  Its a simple goal,  but when we reach maintenance, it changes and then its back to real life with all the joys and challenges, fears and vulnerabilities.  Transitions are hard, and the move into maintenance is one of them.  Many times when I was obese, I'd think, if only I could lose weight, life would be so much better.  And in some ways it is, but for the most part, the challenges of life don't disappear or fade away. 

Hang in there.  I hope you feel better soon.

blessings,
Carol

I agree with those above. While we are losing we put so much into our goal, and when we reach it, as you have, it leaves a real hole in our lives. Therapy will help, and so will finding new goals.

Maintaining isn't nearly as much fun as losing, and a lot harder. I hope you can find some relief, and keep working on lifelong goals.

I did not truly feel like my life was in balance until sometime between year 3 and 4 post-op. Until then I kept myself super-busy with my kids, exercise, volunteering, work, etc. It kept my mind from obsessing about my weight.

Hang in there.

I don't know how it feels to hit goal since I am not there yet, but I definitely relate to still seeing the "fat girl" in the mirror.  My nieces kept telling me last week how slim I look and I just can't see what they see.  Hang in there.  It will get better!

One thing that has helped me a LOT is to see myself in pictures with other people.  Pictures of just me, and the mirror, aren't sufficient.  But seeing myself with other people is truly eye opening.  I was just at a wedding on Saturday and had my picture taken next to the bride.  She's GORGEOUS and, when I saw the picture, I noticed that our waists are the same width.  My mind was blown.  

Look into getting into psychotherapy or counseling of some sort.

All Best,

Layla