Stress

I have mentioned many times that stress eating is my downfall, the thing that got me to 336#.  Now at 195# and almost to goal I have developed many good habits.  It does take a concerted effort to be aware of the behavior and avoid it.  So last week my mother in law died.  I'm sitting in the hospital with my wife and her family and the hospital brought a bunch of food to the hospital room in intensive care.  Stuff I never eat any longer.  And then, one ham sandwich was eaten, then a bag of chips.  Ok we will call that lunch.  Then 3 hours later a turkey sandwich and another bag of chips.  Ok dinner...fig newton, snack.....more chips.  She passes away and at 1:00 am we are eating pizza and wings.  I've circled the wagons and doing better now but I had a rough couple of eating days.  That was the fist time since last September that I didn't have any willpower.  I was up 3.5 pounds Saturday morning but I'm up just 1.3 today so I'm getting back to normal.

Thanks for listening.

Be gentle with yourself.  I am sorry for your loss. Circle the wagons, and get back on track.  We're all with you !!

First off, sorry for your loss!!

Second, you're holding your self accountable! You have recognized that you stress eat! So it happened one day/night! You're human! As long as you don't make this a rabbit you're okay!! You have fantastic results....and we all have had a slip up here or there along the way.

I am so sorry for your loss.  what a tough time you and your family have been going through - my condolences.

With the off-plan food - chances are you'll be facing a lot more of it in the coming days as that seems to be what people bring in times of loss.  So you need to try to stay one step ahead.  If your wife is usually the grocery shopper you will need to step up right now and do that and in doing so you can set yourself up with foods that will help you.  (chances are she'll not be able to handle that right now).  Keep your house stocked with beef jerky, cheese strings, small packages of almonds, applesauce cups, sugar free pudding, fresh veggies (like baby carrots, celery) and some hummus.  Have stuff on hand that you can easily eat when others are eating casseroles, pies, etc.  keep snacks in your pocket or close-by and make use of them.  If all you have are sandwiches, just eat the insides.  Or just the sandwich but pass on the chips.  Eat just the pizza toppings, no crust. Track everything, regardless of what it is, and drink as much water as you can.

You are not expected to be perfect.  Grief and stress are *****es.  But, try to do the best you can while you're grieving and supporting your wife.  Try to get out with her for a walk/stroll or go for one yourself if she's napping/resting.  When people offer to help out, take them up on it if it allows you to get out and get a little movement.  Most of all, be gentle with yourself and when you're struggling with food try to use a ratio; try to stay on plan 70-80% of time and just take it one meal/snack at a time. Write it all down, even if its way off plan and do the best you can.

Sending balloons of support your way.

When emergencies come up so unexpectedly, sometimes we just have to do the best we can. To me, your eating choices, although not the healthiest, were at least modest in portions. And now you're back on track. I think you did very well at a very trying time.

My condolences on your MIL's death.

psychoticparrot

Hi Dan,

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I think under that kind of stress, we have to do what we can to ease our way.  You can get back on track when your situation eases, and you are ready to do so.  But for now, be gentle with yourself.

I was dealing with work-related stress, and was having trouble sleeping, and at 3AM, there is nothing as comforting as some wine and/or some carbs to sooth the savage beast.  I haven't found a substitute for food and alcohol for self-soothing, and it worries me.  When I'm in normal mode, I manage well, but stress still gets me.  If you figure out a strategy that works, I'd love to hear it!

best wishes,

Carol

I'm really sorry for your loss, Dan

Now you understand how easy it is to lower your guard during stressful situations so you'll be better prepared (at least mentally) when you hit another bad time like this.  All my best to you and the family.  

I'm sorry for your loss, Dan.

As a previous poster said, be gentle with yourself. I think it's great that you know you're a stress eater. I am, too. It's fantastic that you're back on track.

I think it's a perfectly normal reaction that you had. You returned to a coping mechanism that was tried and true. Sure, in the long run, eating doesn't help at all, but in the moment the compulsion to eat is strong and. let's face it, to most of us food = comfort! You simply did what you've done for years. You will get stronger because of this incident with available food during a stressful time.

In the days to come there may be many opportunities to eat in the "old way". Your compulsion to eat may get the better of you. When it comes knocking at your door, don't turn it away. Find out what it wants and why. Willpower is finite. It is exhaustible. You may do better to work with your want to eat off plan rather than trying to deny it altogether. In truly stressful situations, when the old tapes play, I find that the more I try to control, the less control I really have.

Of course, this may not be a suitable approach to you, but I wanted to share it with you. I've been where you are and wish I knew then what I knew now.

Kind regards to you and your wife.

Thanks everyone for the support.  Lesson learned.  I really have to keep healthy food within reach and be aware of my behavior.