Honoring Yourself

Summer is almost here. Being a teacher I have a guaranteed vacation of just over 6 weeks each summer. Normally, I spend most of my summer doing for others. I go to the east coast to help my aunt out each year, I drive down south to help some other friends with their kennel, and catch up doing work for a number of my clients. It has not been my habit to use those weeks to rest and do for myself.

This year I have decided that will not be the case. My old aunt now has live in help. I don’t HAVE to go, so I’m not going to. (I’ve gone every year for 18 years, so I get a break, right?) I also decided not to work in the kennel as my friends are now up and running and have hired people to help them, and I have placed a limit on client work.

I am going to focus on me. Putting myself first has been an issue for many years. I don’t do it very well, at all. I have put a plan in place to help me to just that this coming summer. I am calling it The Summer of Me plan.

I am looking forward to The Summer of Me. To make it happen I have done a few things. I have placed limits on the number of clients I will work with each week and I will only see 1 client per day. I am promising to see at least 4 movies and read at least the same number of books. I have plotted out my gym time for the entire summer, an activity I love and have been neglecting, and I have created SMART goals for my eating issues.

Working on my SMART goals for my eating/food issues is to what I’m most looking forward. Having set out Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic (or Relevant), and Time Bound goals has given me a great road map. All my SMART goals are behavioral. No I want to lose this much by such and such a date. I’m actually already working on one goal and am feeling great about the progress. Only 9 more days to see that goal through!

Is there anything you want to do for yourself this summer? Do you have a plan in place to make it happen? I know for many early out post ops eating and food goals are pretty easy to handle, but as you get farther along they can make a lot of sense. For me early out I had goals of fitting in airplane seats, tying my shoes without losing my breath and things like that.

How will you honor yourself this summer?

I'm honoring myself this summer by leaving a job that is overly-stressful.  My end date is July 1!  I run a non-profit coalition of faith communities and individuals that does prison ministry.  This means managing a large volunteer teaching staff (rather like herding cats (smile))  and dealing with the Department of Correction, which is challenging at its best, and right now it is horrible. (its a long, unpleasant story)  As much as I love my work with the incarcerated, and I feel great joy in the services we are able to provide, the stress has been too great, and its affecting my peace of mind and my health.  So I am stepping down and letting someone else be responsible adult for a while! (smile)

I plan on taking lots of time to read, and meditate and pray this summer. My hubby and I are taking a cruise on the Baltic and we'll visit Berlin, St. Petersburg, Copenhagen and Stockholm, as well as a few other destinations.  I am looking forward to it all.

Carol

That trip sounds like a wonderful way to regroup! Congratulations on ending the stressful job, too.

A thoughtful post Kairk.

i work in tourism and summer is a very busy time.

Honour myself???  

there are lots of gatherings and pot lucks and picnics at this time of year and because am a lousy cook but a good baker, this summer am going to supply salads instead of the usual confections.  If I bake the temptation is to taste and that leads on and on and on.

I just want to get through my LBL in July and have a successful recovery - it's pretty much all I can focus on right now.  

But I'm interested in hearing more about the behavioral goals you set for yourself.  Would you be willing to share one or two with the group?  

Hi Tracy,

I didn’t really get into the specific goals because I didn’t think there would be too much interest. But, since you asked….

I am working on responding to my compulsion around food, rather than reacting to it. I try to be a non-judgmental observer so I can understand the root of my compulsivity in certain eating situations when they arise. So, let’s say it’s been a busy day and I have not had a chance to “breathe” and I get home and open the fridge and stand in front of it looking for something to eat. I’ll pause, note the behavior, close the fridge, stop and figure out exactly why I did what I just did. What triggered the behavior?  Is food going to fix the issue? I’ll take a moment to think about what I really want to eat or if I really want to eat at all. If I truly want to eat, then I will fix myself something suitable instead of the mindless grab of this, spoonful of that. I’m not disregarding the compulsion or the trigger, but rather responding to it and working with it rather than trying to control it.

Another behavior I’m working on is very much the same type, but specific to school. I have a long time habit of eating food that is readily available, whether I am hungry or not. You know, the SEE Food Diet. At school there are far too many opportunities for me to eat in a non-healthy manner. So I made a SMART goal of not eating any type of food that contains added sugar during school hours. It was a fairly easy thing to do after a few days and I have observed that because I’m not messing with my blood sugar levels with crap food during the school day, my urge to craze in the afternoon and early evening is pretty much nonexistent.

So there you have it.

Thank you - I'm always interested in what you're doing and the new ideas you're uncovering.  Here's to a wonderful summer! 

I love the tv show the middle lol and she had the year of SUE so when I read this I had to smile...She is a teenage girl but still the meaning is there lol im glad you time to regroup and yes it's time way past time....for me it's not time lol it won't be for awhile...Ill have to steal mine in hrs and minutes I have kids and husband who are very needy I rarely get any time alone even to grocery shop...it's maddening sometimes...Im hoping when my youngest starts school this fall I will get a break she will start head start in August and I will have a few hrs alone...but to be honest lol I will need that time to get caught up on housework and errands etc but I have promised to.carve some me time out because I DESERVE it lol 

Kairk,

So happy that you are having a Me summer. You deserve it after caring for your aunt. I want to just continue on my path and loose more weight and walk daily. We have great nature paths in Ca. where I live. Thanks for your post and have a fabulous summer.

Robin

What a great post Kairk!  Thanks for sharing, and for sharing more about two of your goals.

My plan for this summer was to have my right knee replaced.  It will be painful and uncomfortable for a time, but in the end freeing me from pain and the inability to be as active as I want to be.  I said was, as I am now not sure if I can have the surgery on 7/15 as scheduled.  I had two resignations today from my 3 staff.  Both were legit and not personal, and afford great opportunities for both people.  BUT... as I now need to hire and train two new people, as well as cover 1-2 caseloads, surgery may need to be postponed for a few weeks or months.  To say I'm reeling is an understatement.  I had planned the surgery for summer so I can go back to my dance class - a great motivator for me - in the fall.  Once again, I have to realize that my plans don't always coincide with life's plans.  So I am going to take this opportunity to do a couple of things.  First, I will continue to work at learning to deal with the curveballs life throws at me without having to dive head first into food, which will only compound the problems. 

I also have goals for my home that will take work, but will give me pleasure and serenity to have done, as I get frustrated by the condition of our home.  So we'll stain the house and deck and paint the family room, and clean out areas that are full of stuff that none of us use anymore. 

I will also take time to enjoy our back yard, especially the pool.  Being in water has always been a retreat for me, and I plan to take full advantage of it. 

My last goal is to continue to assess my job and if I need to look at other options.  Financially I can't retire yet, which would be my ideal, so I need to sort out if I stay where I'm at or take on a new adventure for the next few years.

Mary