Depression is getting the best of me...

I just need to put my thoughts "out there"

My depresion is getting pretty bad, and without healthcare insurance (can't afford it, and denied for state assistance) It's pretty rough.. I know I need to be back on my medication, but life happens... I am a single mom and I am struggling so much!

I am having a horrible time with my weight loss, mentally... I had all these thoughts of how life would be better once I lost weight.. NOPE! Sh*t still happens, life still happens... I am having a hard time seeing how far I have come.. Some days are better than others and I feel good.. But most days aren't like that unfortunately..

I am 15 months out and I have lost 162 lbs.. I bounce between 196lbs-200lbs... I still have a ways to go! And I posted awhile ago that I feel stuck.. I still have that same feeling... I feel like this is as far as I am getting in my weight loss.. But I know thats my depression talking.. figuring out how to overcome that is hard! especially alone. (ie: without my medication/Dr.)

I KNOW other people struggle with this.. I know I am NOT alone.. I know most people won't won't let others know whats going on in their head, fearing they will think less of them.. But I also know if I don't say anything, then I am not helping myself.. I have struggled with depression for a very long time now.. but it was managed better before.

Having VSG is the best thing I have done for myself.. I just need need help with the depression issues to fully enjoy the "new" me... I am trying to get help... I am looking into my options for healthcare insurance for me and my kids (Obamacare is BS! but thats a whole nother post! lol)

I just felt like I needed to put this out there... not only for me, but for anyone else that feels the same way and are worried something is "wrong" with them... NOTHING is wrong.. some people just need a little help. and I know it's ok to ask for help... even when it's embarrassing and pride steps in...

here is a pic of me on a good day, and I felt great with my progress.. I look at this pic to help get my mind on the positive things..

Hi, just wanted you to know that you are doing a great job. You should be really proud of yourself. Parenting and making such a major change in your life can be overwhelming. I agree with you I think that what we anticipate and the reality of the weight loss struggle are very different. My suggestion to you is just take everyday as it comes. Do thing that give you joy. Look forward and dream, plan, have hope and know that you are doing the best you can. Myself, I am still waiting for my surgery and also struggle with depression. You are doing the right thing to talk about how you are feeling. You were beautiful at the beginning of your weight loss journey and you are still beautiful but healthier. Take Care. Laura

You look great 162 is no.small.feat it's a.awesome job I hope I'm as successful depression is something we all face at sometimes I suggest you fight by looking at this photo and all the good things this too shall pass 

You are doing so well with your weight loss while you fight depression.  Just taking care of kids is a big challenge.  I don't know that I could handle it without my meds.  I wish I had a solution for your predicament.    I will say a prayer for you.  Hang in there. 

I'm sorry you are struggling with depression without professional assistance.  Good for you for recognizing the voice of depression and not believing it when it says you are done with weight loss.

 Are you still working?  If you are, have you looked into the EAP, employee assistance program?  Sometimes they have a surprising number of helpful no-charge options that aren't connected to insurance. I know some offer a limited number of free counseling sessions. 

Best wishes.  You know, you really are fabulous!

~Shel

You look great! Keep your chin up and keep plugging along I hope I can do as well as you have!

Your pictures are wonderful and YOU are beautiful. I feel for you...Many years ago I had clinical depression for 10 years. Is there a church near you where you could go and talk to a pastor, or see if they have a women's group there. :-)

Thank you for all the kind words..

Yes, I work full time in a hospital (endoscopy dept.) I have a good job, but the pay isn't much and I can't afford the insurance through them.. and the state says I make $80 too much a month, to keep receiving assistance (what a joke!)

I am looking into the the EAP at work... they do offer some therapy. I think it's around 3 sessions...

Again, Thank you

The EAP program should also be able to refer you to someone who can provide low-cost to no-cost counseling.  When I was in college, I found a place that was available, thank goodness. They may also be able to find you someone who can prescribe anti-depressants if you need them.  And it really IS ok to reach out for help.  I, for one, am here if you need a sounding board.  I'm a single Mom who has depression/anxiety and know all too well how hard it can be.  Wishing you continued success and praying for you too!

Hi there - I am still waiting for a date for surgery, so I cannot add anything to your story of weight loss.  I hope some day I can have a wonderful before and after picture of the success accomplished!  I have battled depression for years and no one around understands.  I have done counseling a few times, have tried medication a couple of times - then I feel better and stop.  A year or two later I am back to beating myself up.  This thread has given some strength to know I am not alone.  I hope it does the same for you :)  Be proud of your accomplishments as a Woman and Mom!