Telling others?

I am in month 11 and have lost 95 lbs now and I have not announced my surgery to co-workers and distant friends, but if they ask I'll tell them the truth.  Yesterday was my first rude response.  At work a lady [who is about 100 or more lbs overweight] came into our department that I haven't seen since my surgery.  She said, "Well, you look really skinny!  What's your secret?"  So I told her I had weight loss surgery and she immediately swung her head back and loudly stated, "OH WELL YOU CHEATED!!  I"M trying to do it the old-fashioned way!!"  I just simply stated, "Well, how's that working out for ya?!"  and walked away...  I must admit tho that it was upsetting and made the people around us feel very awkward.  One co-worker, bless her heart, did speak up and say that she has seen me work very hard for this weight loss and is not the EASY way to go...   Some people are so rude!  My suggestion is just have a standard reply ready to go so you won't get thrown off if someone does this to you.

Sorry you had to endure this.  Some people are just jerks and your reply was great.

First off, congratulations on your weight loss!  This is exactly the kind of ignorant response I'm  afraid of but I guess you can't worry about others. I like the idea of being honest if someone asks and being ready if someone has a stupid comment. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and experience with me. 

I don't understand why you should be embarrassed about WLS, but if you want to keep it private, it's your right to do so.

I told everyone about my surgery. My husband, who is considering having the surgery in October, wants nobody to know. Go with whatever makes you more comfortable.

psychoticparrot

I know I shouldn't be embarrassed but I feel like society sees surgery as the "easy way out" when it is anything but!  Thanks for your thoughts and good luck to your husband!

Im.still post op but I don't want everyone knowing my business just because it's my business but my mother in law tells everyone she knows that's impossible having surgery even when I told her not too ...I will be with her and she will.say my daughter in law is having weight loss surgery but she doesn't need it does.She she isn't that big is she? And they will say NO but they of course wouldn't say so in front of me lol I wish she would.shut up it ****** me off...but she won't be quiet...

Oh my gosh!  The one person I will NOT be telling is my mother in law!  She is super judgemental and is forever making comments about how much she " loves my cooking because she never eats such rich food" and says she feels sorry for me because I simply can't keep up with my housework when I work full time- ugh!  I think there should be a club for our mother in laws!  I wish you the best of luck- with both your mother in law and your weight loss journey!  Thank you for sharing!

This is a topic often discussed in the forum. Some are very vocal about their opinions. When I was first considering the surgery 2 1/2 years ago, I really got blasted by someone for not wanting to tell. I didn't have  surgery at that time because my insurance denied me. I had it 3-months ago, going the self-paid route. I have chosen to not tell people (except my daughter and husband), and I have no regrets about my choice.. I feel it is my business. I didn't want my WLS to be the topic of conversation with everyone. When I started the pre-op diet I did tell everyone that I was changing the way I was eating and was following a medically-supervised eating plan, so people would be prepared to see me lose weight. As I have been losing, I have been telling people how happy I am not that I can walk for exercise, compared to before when I couldn't walk because of leg and foot pain. I say, you should do what you think is best for YOU! :-)

Thank you so much!  It really is a tough decision. There are definitely some people that I have no intention of telling- like my in-laws, but I do have amazing colleagues who I'm sure would be supportive. I think it's more of a feeling of failure on my part that my weight has gotten so far out of control. I have been openly discussing with friends and colleagues the fact that I'm seeing a dietitian and I'm making lifestyle changes.  I guess when the time comes I will have to do exactly what you suggested and do what is best for me. Thanks so much for your help!  Also I want to applaud you for going forward with the surgery without the benefit of insurance- good luck on your weight loss journey!

There is an excellent quote from a book, "Weight Loss Surgery: The Real Skinny" by Nick Nicholson M.D. and B. A. Blackwell about how extremely difficult it is to lose weight once you reach the obese categories:

"You could theoretically lose the 1 to 10 pounds a year which isn't going to resolve your weight-related health problems in a timely manner, nor is it impressive enough to give you the motivation to stay the course. What does this all mean? You're striving for a permanent weight loss that's near impossible. It's no wonder that morbidly obese people have a 95% failure rate for lasting weight loss through non-surgical diet methods. You're not a failure -- you just haven't been given the right tool. Bariatric surgery isn't easy, but most of you have proven that you have the discipline and desire to lose weight. Your issue is losing enough weight and keeping it off. That means you're exactly the kind of person that weight loss surgery can help."

If you wish to keep your surgery quiet because it's nobody's business but your own, that's okay. But if it's out of embarrassment that others will deride your efforts to become healthy by taking the "easy way out," you need to work on the way you respond to such ignorant comments.

psychoticparrot