Telling others?
I'm scheduled to have surgery the second week of June. I have not told any of my friends or colleagues that I am having surgery- my sister is having the same surgery a few weeks before me and I have two friends that I've shared with because they both had weight loss surgery a few years back. I Don't want to lie but I am embarrassed... I'm a teacher and everyone I work with is super health conscious and skinny. Was everyone open and honest about their surgery? People know I'm dieting and seeing a dietician but I'm just not sure I want to tell them- then I think they will figure it out soon... Any advice?
It's really up to you. If people ask, you are entirely entitled to say that it's a private thing and leave it at that. The only thing I really take issue with is when people lie, because it falsely furthers the notion that people can just diet and exercise away the weight, when study after study shows that WLS is the most effective long term solution.
Before I had surgery, I told a lot of people. I told my boss, HR, and some close coworkers, a handful of close friends, my immediate family and my close in-laws. While drugged up to high heaven post-op, I made a semi-public post on FB announcing it to the rest of my friends. (Social media and opioids don't mix!!!) Now, when people talk to me about my weight loss, I don't volunteer that I had surgery. I just thank them for their kind words. If someone does ask how I did it, I say that I had WLS, get lots of exercise, and am careful about what I eat.
No one has ever reacted badly. Most people are just so happy for me! I think WLS is becoming a lot more common and at least the people I know are very polite about it, and I've been very grateful for the support I get.
This is just what works for me, though! Everyone has different levels of comfort and different situations. You just have to figure out what you are comfortable with and go from there.
32F 5'8" High weight: 432 | Consult weight: 396 | Surgery weight: 335 | Current weight: 170
I never considered the fact that my response would perpetuate the exact reason why I am afraid to tell people. I like that when you responded to said that you had WLS and you watch what you eat and Exercise. The fact that you made the announcement while doped up is hilarious! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your insight. Everyone on this site is amazing! Congratulations on your weight loss!
Don't be hard on yourself, this is a very personal thing and you should only share it with people you are comfortable with. If you were having surgery for a hernia (or some other medical condition) you most likely would NOT be running around telling the world about it, so why is this different? They will figure it out and the "best" of them will be happy for you and very supportive. I kept my surgery to myself for the most part because I did not want anyone to be "negative" about it or tell me "your not heavy enough to need to do surgery". They mean well but it's not what you need to hear when you are getting mentally prepared to take this big step.
I still have 15 lbs to lose (per the doctor) and I have most people tell me things like: "your too skinny now" , "you don't need to lose more" or "if you lose any more you'll look old (or sick)". They are trying to be nice and they mean well (and you think it would be nice to hear) but it does not help. "Wow, that's great, keep working at it" would be much better.
ADIVCE: Only tell people when you want to and don't put yourself down for not telling if that is what you want to do. WHY you are not telling people is not important.
VSG with Dr. David Thoman on 6/02/2014, Age 54, Height 5'7", Highest Weight 280, Pre-Surgery Weight 240, Current Weight 152.8 (4/20/2015) Next Goal 140 | Total Weight Lost 87 lbs.
Nothing tastes as good as THIN feels!!!
Pre-op, I only told people who needed to know I was having surgery because there was the chance I might die. So.. my partners, my parents, my brother, and my three best friends.
Post-op, once I knew that this thing was going to work, I told everyone via a Facebook post. Best thing I ever did. The support I've received has been astounding.
That said, I think it's really important to be honest with people. Honesty can be saying, "hey, I don't want to talk about this." Honesty is not, "Oh, I'm losing weight with diet and exercise." (If that second thing was true, we wouldn't have gotten surgery.)
Even my super "health conscious and skinny" friends are amazing. People are really proud that I've taken my life into my own hands. They also all see how much work I'm putting into this, so I haven't experienced any "WLS is the easy way out" judgment - at least not to my face!
VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)
Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170
TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)
This. Well said. Just saying diet and exercise is misleading at best.
Surgery Date 04-22-14 HW 2011 388(lost 60lbs on WW, regained 40) Surgery Consult Weight 1/10/14 - 367 SW 357 - CW 9/15 210.
Stalls are your body's way of telling you not to get too cocky.
5K - 1st 59:00(9/14) PR 33:45(9/15)
10K - 1:14(10/15) 1/2 - 1st 3/20/16
Your welcome! I'm also proud for doing this - WLS is probably the kindest thing I've ever done for myself. :) And I dare someone to try to give me grief for it. I would likely laugh myself to tears. :D
VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)
Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170
TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)
