Thinking of Backing Out Again

Cynthia, I can relate to what you are going through. I had lapband surgery in 2005 and did great with it up til about 2008. My sweet spot could no longer be found, and I was able to over eat the band about an hour after my fills. It took me years to find out there wa a slow leak in my band that was not detected by the barium swallow tests I had been given. Over the past several years, I've gained almost all of the weight that was lost. I've tried so many diets on my own (Atkins, paleo, diet pills, exercise, etc.). I Suffer from a thyroid disorder as well as PCOS and insulin resistance syndrome. My endocrinologist told me there's no way I would be able to successfully drop and keep off a significant amount of weight through diet and exercise alone. He also told me I would continue to drop and regain the same 20-25 pounds forever, and guess what? That is exactly what I've been doing all of my adult life, and after my band failed, my body started that vicious cycle all over again. So Here I am contemplating the sleeve, and I am so very afraid of getting it. Just thinking about having that surgery FREAKS ME OUT!!! I recently attended a seminar in hopes of becoming braver, but it wasn't exactly the kind of meeting I expected/needed, so I'm going to try another seminar through another clinic. I joined this site in hopes of being encouraged and overcoming my fear. I'm so sick and tired of doing everything right, as far as diet and exercise, only to have my hormones impede all my efforts. Despite all my failed efforts, I still don't feel I am mentally ready to deal with all that comes with another weight loss surgery. I was so brave when I had my lap band, but I am not at all when it comes to this one. 

Years ago I was serious about having the Lap Band UNTIL I went to my first seminar and heard all the reasons WHY it wasn't going to be for me. First and foremost, since I was paying out of pocket, and Lap Band at the time (maybe still is?) required finding that 'sweet spot' of restriction frequently and under fluoroscopy, that was a LOT of extra money to shell out each time that I simply did not have. Toss in the possible complications of band erosion, flippage, rejection, slippage etc....AND the significantly poor overall results in big studies, I immediately opted for VSG. I am 6 years out next month and still over 100lbs lost. I went from a size 22-24 to a size 10 and only now can I feel and notice a 5lb weight fluctuation. Never experienced that til I had surgery. Fighting weight one way or the other is a lifelong battle. Get the best tool you can to win!!!!!!

Lisa J. I wish i could have been to a seminar like the one you attended. There were so man things i wasn't told. My surgeon actually told me the ONLY wls he would even consider giving me due to my "low" weight, (which was 231 lbs. Not low at all!!), was the lap band. He was aware of ny pcos and other problems, and never pushed for another type of surgery for me, and I was completely ignorant concerning all things related to wls during that time, despite my attempt at being self informed. Also, I was never told about the sleeve when I underwent the wls process. I dont recall it even being an option at my clinic in 2005. I knew nothing about it. I was only told about lap band or rny, and I was not willing to have rny at that time AND was told I was too thin to have it anyway. Crazy!!! Wish yhe sleeve had been an option. Im sure I would chisen it.

if you need to lose 20 lb a diet and exerciser will work if you need to lose more you need wls

 congress did a study and 95% of people that needed to lose 50 lb or more ether did not lose it or gain it back and more by diet and exercise

 exercise does little to help you lose weight , it raises your metabolism a little , but mostly tones your muscles, and strengthens your heart  and helps prevent constipation

 I lost way over 150 lb with my sleeve , am off all diabetes meds   , I went from a 5x to a large or 1 x , I can walk without stopping every few steps to catch my breath , or wipe the sweat

 it is possible to lose the weight with out surgery , but there is very little chance of losing it and keeping it off

I got my DS only after I'd tried everything else with no results.   If you're not there yet, then wait.  WLS should be a last resort.

I absolutely was able to lose weight without surgery.  I lost 80-90 lbs about once a decade, starting in my teens, and it always came back, usually with friends.  Around my late 40's/early 50's I finally even lost the ability to stay on a food plan long enough to lose weight, and I  resigned myself to life as an obese person.  In my experience, obesity is not only a disease, it's a progressive disease.  Then someone close to me started talking about WLS.  I researched for a couple years before pulling the trigger.

Unlike some, once I made my decision, I kept the option of canceling in the back of my mind the whole time.  I think it must have been a psychological safety net of sorts.  I also went thru phases of self-disgust ("you're so far gone you have to have most of your STOMACH REMOVED to get this in hand???") and self-doubt ("Post surgical diet is pretty strict, if I can't do it now what makes me think I'll be able to do it then??").  It was quite an interior dialogue for several months.  And in the end, thoughts of backing out never left - in fact I was considering it as they were wheeling me into the OR.

Thankfully these were all just thoughts.  It's actions that count.  As Gwen said, this is by far the best thing I've ever done for myself.  It has given me the normal and free life you long for.

Good luck with your decision.

My turn to chime in on this discussion.  First, whatever you decide CynthiaFaith, it is your decision to make.  I just offer my own experience.   I was in my mid 50's when I made the decision to have WLS.  I had several health problems, with more mounting, riddled with decreasing health and mobility, with most likely an early death looming.  I too had second thoughts, but the 2 things I kept coming back to were:

1.  The statistics given at the info session - 5 years after losing weight the traditional way, only 2% of the people kept the weight off.  For those who had WLS, the success rate was 70%.

2.  Every time I thought of the risks from the surgery, I realized that I was much more at risk of severely disabling conditions or dying, without the surgery, than the risks from the surgery.

We all have doubts - it's a normal part of the process.  I almost called it off a few days prior.  But, I decided to move forward, because of those reasons I noted, and have never regretted my decision.  I am living life now, instead of just existing.  I can join in on activities with my family - snowtubing, amusement parks, school trips, etc., instead of watching from the sidelines.  I am so much healthier now, and though life has no guarantees, the chances that I'll live to old age and see my grandkids, is so much better now.  I am sending prayers and good vibes to you to help you to make the right decision for you.  Hugs!   Mary

Hi CynthiaFaith!

I could really relate to what you wrote as I had the same thoughts, fears & beliefs.

I began researching WLS in my late 40's after I developed high blood pressure & was having some issues w/pre-menopausal bleeding. Both were related to my weight.

I didn't have insurance that covered the surgery & I convinced myself I could 'probably' lose the weight on my own IF I MADE A REAL COMMITTMENT to do so. the most I was able to lose was 20 pounds over 8 months! Ridiculous!

Fast forward to 2009...my insurance would now cover WLS, but I had to do a supervised diet. I joined Weigh****chers and must of been one of the only ppl on the universe to NOT like the program or lose more than a few pounds. I dropped out of WW & decided I'D DO IT ON MY OWN again. But my mom got ill & passed & I was back eating my heart out...

In 2012 I got diagnosed w/uterine cancer (linked to obesity), atrial fillibration (racing out of control heart), sleep apnea & now borderline diabetes. ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH! I was now gaining weight due to meds I had to be on, and I could barely move. My quality of life was in the toilet!

I am pre-op, but have no doubts about getting my sleeve surgery. If I don't I won't live much longer, and my quality of life will suck. 

My high blood pressure, risk of diabetes & sleep apnea have a good chance of going away if I do the surgery and follow the rules. However, my afib (atrial fillibration) will NOT. Thankfully my cancer was caught early. So while getting to the point where you KNOW this has to be done is a process consider the consequences of waiting too long. I was pretty healthy and able to move around until my mid-50's despite the weight. In 3 short years all that changed & pretty much all at once.

You have received really good feedback, but we are probably all prejudiced. RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH all aspects of this obesity beast & options to tame it, and  then make an educated decision.

Best of luck!

Hi Cynthia: I'm A 58 year old woman who will be post op 6 years at the end of May. I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER!!! I was 5'3" and 277 lbs. I was clearly a big time overeater. The reason I chose VSG was that restriction was all I wanted. Of course there compulsions that associate our food addiction! For me, I ate too fast therefore consuming WAY too much (always of wrong stuff) while stuffing myself. If I had eaten I may have been a normal person, but I'll never know. I had all kinds of excuses too. I know, for ME, there was no alternative because I had already lived a fat life. I was never going to regret being fat! I have had ever had one side effect or procedural problem. In fact, after my 3-6-9-12 check up I never went back to the VSG doctor. If you think you CAN lose weight and keep it off forever, then you'd better bottle and can that recipe because it's the reason weight loss is a zillion dollar industry. VERY DAMN FEW people manage to keep it off. Look around! I have zero regrets. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I swore to become the poster child for VSG and I'm still here LOVING LIFE because of it!!! Take a look at yourself.....do you like photos of you? Do you like the size of clothes you are forced to wear? Do you feel like you could feel better everyday??? I know I am an odd duck but I was NEVER on the fence about this decision and couldn't wait to get in that surgery! I don't know that I've helped your decision but you are not alone in the way you feel about it. And if you're getting negative feedback from family and friends, that's to be expected. The fear of failure is greater than the fear of surgery I guess. I felt like the more people I told about it, the less chance I'd give myself to fail. The surgery DOES NOT FAIL YOU but you can dang sure keep sabotaging your life even with surgery.

You know that little fine print that is on most diet before & after shots "Results Not Typical" that's because results aren't typical ;) http://www.newswise.com/articles/view/632091/?sc=rsla&utm_so urce=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Newswis eLatestNews+%28Newswise%3A+Latest+News%29

Weight loss surgery typically will give you results... for a time... so if you decide to have it.... use that helping hand to make the life changes you need to make. More: http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2015/04/life- after-weight-loss-surgery-q-a.html

You can eat great on the other side... but if food addiction is an issue... I would start that work now. Therapist referral. It'll help no matter your choice.

Fear and regret... well... I was feeling so crappy I was willing to roll the dice so to speak. I'd rather die fighting for my life than a passive, slow suicide... picked someone I trusted... and then you hope for the best and following orders to do your part.

You do have a few WTH did I do moments... there is an adjustment period but most of us if asked a few months in "would you do it again?" will say "Heck yeah, in a nano second" 

Obesity is the second leading cause of preventable death in the US BTW... that something to fear too... and sounds like you are feeling the effects of it with obesity related conditions.

Weight loss surgery mortality rate is 0.10%, (Journal of the American College of Surgeons) safer than gallbladder removal, one of the most routine surgical procedures in America.  

Anyway... hope this has helped a bit. Best wishes in whatever you decide. 

~Michelle "Shelly"