Gained it back. :(

I haven't posted in 3 years, wow. I had been doing really well up until last year. Within 14 months I've managed to gain almost all my weight back. My mom passed away last February - she took her own life. This has been insanely hard on me and I think i just stopped caring.

But this is my fault. I failed my surgery. It is time to get back on track and the first step is admitting that I have failed. Here seemed like the best place to do that. I am determined to fix this. I can't be sad anymore. Starting tomorrow I am starting over from liquids and moving up.

I can do this. I know I can do this.

 

If anyone has any tips, anything is greatly appreciated. This is an amazing community. Thank you for listening to me vent a bit.

First, you did not fail your surgery. You encountered a traumatic life event that threw you completely off. It is completely understandable that you reverted to old habits and lifelong coping mechanisms during such an intense crisis as dealing with your mother's suicide.

Also, please allow yourself to be sad when you are sad. It's okay to feel. Your mother's loss is as great as your love for her was while she was alive. You will be sad from time to time for some time to come. I know I was when my mom passed. But the pain does eventually wane and you will feel okay again.

I hope working on your weight is a positive for you in getting your life back on the path you were on before tragedy struck. It may be difficult to get back on track. Please ask for help and advice when you need it. And remember, it's okay not to be perfect. Start making more and more choices that lead you to weight loss. If going cold turkey on liquids is too hard, that's okay. Start where you can and go from there.

Cheering for you!

Marisa, I am so sorry for your loss and the anguish you have been through.  I hope you have family and friend(s) and/or therapist to help you deal with your pain.  It's no wonder you have regained most of your weight.  You suffered a traumatic loss and there's no way you would not have been affected.  

There are some Groups here that may help you:  Back on Track Together and Back to Basics Boot Camp.  I find journaling and menu pre-planning help me a lot.  Other than that, keep reading and posting here.

Many have regained weight a few years post-op.  Don't kick yourself.  You still have your tool to help you.

Welcome back to the Boards -- I hope you find support that will help you.  

Thank you guys. I know it's okay to be sad, I go to my therapist and discuss all that but for some reason I don't feel comfortable discussing my weight in my sessions. She always says its emotional and sad eating but i don't believe that i really emotionally eat as much as I haven't been paying attention and am mindlessly eating. And definitely drinking my calories. I just really need to get control of something. I had to drop out of school last semester because I couldn't handle it at the time, but I am hoping to go back this fall.

I think starting over cold turkey on liquids is the best way to kick the carb addiction. I also am having my gallbladder removed next week so I actually can't eat much right now anyway. I guess that's a sign it's time to get back on the wagon :P

Good luck with the getting back on track and losing the regain. You can do it! I don't have any tips - but from what I read on here from people who have been in your situation is that going back to lean dense protein and green veggies and logging everything as well as measuring out your portions seems to be what works best. And maximum water of course. 

A good motto to adopt: "No Regrets!"

Cir****tances for you are the way they are. Keep moving forward. Don't look back.

You might want to try Overeaters Anonymous for support. They focus on the whole person, not the weight. Good luck. 

 

psychoticparrot

I am sorry to hear about your lose. I gained a lot of weight after my mom passed a couple years ago. To me, food was a way to cope but in the end, it only hurt me.

You have this wonderful tool to help you lose. This is something you can do. I have heard story after story that people gain back on the sleeve, and the lose it again because they went back to the basics. Go back to your basics. You can do it! You are a strong woman and can do anything you put your mind too!

{{Hugs}}

I'm so sorry for your loss!

Getting back on track is never easy, but I think planning is the key! I still plan my meals at 5 years out and it helps me maintain my weight. If you think you need liquids to get back on track, then give it a try. Once you are back on solids make a few meals and separate them into individual portions and freeze them. That way you will always have something that's ready to go for the days when you don't have time to cook dinner or the mornings when you're packing your lunch and there aren't any left overs. I try and get my breakfast and lunch ready each night before I go to bed. I don't always have time for this, but it's my plan!

Good Luck, you can do this!

I'm so sorry for your loss. You can do it!!!