Expectations and kindness
Being kind to one’s self and being realistic about weight loss are not generally characteristics most of us hold and exhibit with regularity – at least not without some help to get us there.
What I’ve noticed over the past months (and perhaps because I’m working on this aspect of my journey) is that a great many posters are terribly hard on themselves, but are very kind and supportive of others.
So I wanted to point out a few things that have helped me along the way that might help some of you, too.
1. Food has no value. Food is neither good nor bad. Food just is. When we label foods as good or bad, those foods gain power – especially those foods we label as bad. How many times have carrots and celery called your name, hmmm? But the cookie, or chips, or chocolate, or whatever forbidden food you like, seems to have a great deal of power. When we strip the food of value, we strip it of power.
- Expecting to be perfect will mess you up. Expecting yourself to make good choices a great deal of the time is realistic. An expectation to make good choices 100% of the time is not. EVERYONE will make a choice that does not promote weight loss or maintenance at some point. Even the best of the best and my role models make choices to eat “off plan”. The trick is that they make choices.
- Exercise is better enjoyed when it is separated from weight loss. When exercise is merely a vehicle to burn calories, it can become an awful chore. Finding an exercise you enjoy and look forward to will promote long term exercise and life change. Remember, you don’t have to exercise to lose weight. Lots of people don’t exercise at all and still lose tons of weight (but they lose more muscle than if they had exercised along the way).
- Being upset with yourself for a behavior you engaged in is counterproductive. You did it. The moment has passed. You can’t change it. Acknowledge it, figure out what might have triggered the behavior, store the information for later use and move on. If the behavior you engaged in triggered cravings, take a nap, if possible, or brush your teeth or get out and sweat. And above all, FORGIVE YOURSELF.
We all have a great tool to help us be successful, but there is much more to this journey long term. After 3 years and a bit of regain I understand this better than I ever did.
Stay the path.
Thank you Kairk! That was so inspirational! I haven't reached goal yet, so your experience was extremely helpful to me! You put things in a sensible perspective. I have been depressed lately about people on this forum having snarky responses to those that are reaching out for help. It is so refreshing to hear your understanding, yet common sense advice. (Especially about exercise!) God Bless!
love it love it... going to print it out several times and post in several spots in the house.. read when feeling down or think negatively. do not and will not be negative to myself nor others. we are all humans and DO make mistakes and bad choices at times. hopefully learn from those bad choices so not to make them again. thank you so much.. hugggs
