That head stuff

I am less than a month away from completing my nutritional classes and surgery I anticipate will be in June/July.  I am having some doubts because of the whole head hunger not being fixed.  I passed my psych eval and have no issues at least that I recognize with food being a comfort or stress reliever.  There's no patterns to how or why I eat certain things  I just get cravings for really bad food and have no will power.  I took a beautiful salad and bunch of bananas to snack on yesterday to work but I left and got a ton of taco bell that I shamefully ate in the back of a parking lot where no one would see me.  I also find that I'm hungry an hour or so after dinner when I'm comfy at home after a long days work and eat a salty snack plus a dessert.  I wake up starving and though I prepare and have healthy things on hand I pass a Mcdonalds and can't say no.  If there's anyone else out there like me that couldn't resist cravings... how the hell do you manage to get through it after surgery?  Am I just not a good candidate?  What will happen emotionally and physically if I can't stop myself?  Will the surgery force me to stop and I just deal with the emotions of not getting what I want until they go away on their own?  I'm so scared and don't know what to do.

I think that everyone can benefit from having a therapist on their Obesity Recovery Team.  I know mine has been really important.  I have willpower/impulse control problems - if I know I have tasty food in the house, I'll eat it.  But I've been working really hard to correct these things and be mindful.  Mindfulness is one of the best tools I've been able to add to my tool belt.  

There is so much mental stuff that goes on throughout this process.  The surgery fixes our stomachs, but we need to do the hard work to sort our brains out.  Luckily, there are people who can help us with this.  

(And I've lost almost 140 pounds, so I certainly feel like I've been successful and will continue to be!)

Oh, I remember the shamefully eating in the back of a fast food restaurant parking lot.  Also, I remember telling myself there was nothing to eat at home so I "needed" to go thru a drive thru for breakfast. But, I have done none of that since the surgery. 

I am only 5 months out so I am no expert.  I have a therapist that helps me lay down better behaviors for myself.  It has also helped in that eating doesn't give me the same pleasure that it has in the past.   

The surgery doesn't "force" as much as you might hope.  However, in my experience, when I follow the rule of dense protein first, I don't have physical hunger teaming up with head hunger to overwhelm me. It is easier to remember why I did the surgery and how I am determined to not mess it up, especially in these early months.  

Good for you for recognizing the behavior there is an issue!  You will want to have help. Please consider a therapist.  Before my therapist,  I picked up the Beck Diet Solution by Judith Beck which I enjoyed.  Lots of people find overeaters anonymous helpful.  

Best of luck!  

~Shel 

Oh the days of eating in the parking lot, I definitely remember those! The head hunger can be hard sometimes & therapy or some type of support group can help. The surgery won't force so much to stop & deal with emotions, but it is good that it alerts you that if your full & you still want to eat that there's head hunger kicking in, not physical hunger.

I know at times I'm an emotional eater & right now I acknowledge & feel whatever emotion that I'd usually in the past would stuff down with food. I know sometimes I eat out of boredom or stress, whatever & basically I try to at least recognize the problem at the time & see what I could do. I'm bored, groom the cats, clean, read whatever I can do to get past the moment., & if I'm sad, just find someplace to let it out & express it, either a journal to write it down or just a good cry.,etc.

Sorry I might be rambling a bit, but take things 1 day at a time, 1 meal at a time. You can get thru it & know others are going thru the same thing. I'm almost a year out & I know head hunger will be there for a good while.

Hi!

I am also pre-op and can relate to all you are saying! I often packed healthy lunches that I abandoned for a fast food treat, sub or other goodie.

I will not have the surgery before September, but started trying to monitor my food intake a couple months ago. I don't know if I am having some success because I am 'sick and tired' of being 'sick & tired'...and I do mean that in every sense! But I also have found I am not as tempted or hungry if I follow the dieticians suggestion to always eat protein first and for every meal and snack.

I still battle the head hunger, but don't give in as often. I try to focus on something else or take a walk to get my mind off it. But if I am still craving/hungry a few hours later I will allow myself a small snack.

I also get scared I won't succeed at this surgery...I am in my late 50's and have cultivated a half century of poor eating habits! but if I want to live, and live comfortably (not ill, in pain, etc.) I need to try this.

Best of luck!

You are right to be worried because no surgery on the planet takes away the desire to eat crap...or even the ability to eat crap in the long run.  Eventually, you'll be able to around any weight-loss surgery you get.  That's just a fact.   

Here's another fact:  If you are going to successful with WLS long-term, it can't be the only tool in your toolbelt.  Patients without a severe emotional attachment to food or deeply ingrained reasons for compulsively overeating are few and far between on these boards.  You need to work with a therapist who specializes in disordered eating before you have the surgery and, most likely, you'll need to continue to work with him/her after surgery.  

You should look into a support/recovery group like Food Addicts Anonymous (FA) or Overeaters Anonymous (OA).  You will find a group of people there who have done all the same crazy **** with food that you have.  They "get it" and will support you.  

So answers to your questions:  1) yes, there are lots of us out there that are just like you, 2) we got through it by putting together a toolbox that works for us post-op, 3) being a compulsive eater doesn't make you a bad candidate for WLS, 4) emotionally and physically you'll be a wreck if you continue these behaviors post-op, 5) surgery will NOT force you to stop eating and deal with the emotions behind the eating, and 6) those emotions will never go away "on their own".  

There's help out there - start now because failure shouldn't even be an option.  

We don't get to be fat because we have healthy relationships with food.

For me, it was reaching a point in my life where I was tired of being sick and tired all the time.  There had to be a better way to live out the rest of my life.  I've always been successful at dieting, but always gained back the weight and MORE.

I started seeing a therapist long before I finally decided on surgery and I can't stress how important it has been for me personally to openly deal with my battles with food demons.  Whether it's individual therapy, support groups or OA, I think facing what your relationship is with food is one of the best ways to set yourself for a better chance at success.

I am an emotional binge/compulsive eater.  The psychologist at my surgeon's office told me that it would be more difficult for me because of my emotional attachment towards food.  No kidding, lady.  The surgery won't force you to stop eating anything, except large quantities within a short time frame.  And for me, I can eat many types of carbs and feel barely any restriction.  So what it boils down to is looking at your lifestyle and making permanent changes that you can live with.

This surgery is not a diet.  Diets fail because there's always an end to them.  You have to find what will work best and sustain you over the rest of your life.  Will you slip up?  Yep, we all do.  But we can jump back onto that horse and not beat ourselves up over a day of eating off plan.

I would advise that you make the most of the first six months to a year after your surgery and do your absolute best to stay on track.  It gets more challenging as time wears on.  I don't know how much weight you have to lose, but the restriction will work for you if you do the right things, such as eating dense protein first, drinking plenty of fluids, get in some exercise and limit carbs.

Don't be scared.  You're not the first one to go down this road.  It's doable.  And it is SO WORTH IT.  You deserve to feel better and live a healthier life.  I still have issues with food, but I make better choices 90% of the time.  After awhile, it becomes your new normal.  Hang in there.  You can do this