Scrutiny

Felt the need to vent this evening. I have friends and family over for the holiday weekend and am in awe at how everyone feels like they know more about this than I do.

Every morsel of food I put in my mouth is met with questioning looks. "What are you eating?", "How many of those are you going to eat?", "You shouldn't be eating that", "Maybe you should eat more healthy"

SHUT UP. I have lost 85 pounds. How about "Great Job", "Keep it up", "What's your secret?"

I made all of the decisions that have gotten me to this weight loss point. I spend my cold hard cash. I had surgery, I made the necessary decisions to have this great success.

Just because I eat a damn M&M on Easter doesn't mean my life is in shambles and I'm going to gain back 85 lbs.

As a matter of fact, I sit her at the dinner table and watch you each shove 1/2 lb of spaghetti and garlic bread down your throat and wonder why you aren't making better decisions. You don't need all that food. You can exist perfectly well on a fraction of that amount. Have you noticed you're getting a bit thick around the middle.

So finally this evening, I had a bit of a melt down and told everyone that I'm just fine thank you very much. Now, everyone's responding with "Oh we just love you" "We see how happy you are and how much better you feel and we don't want you to go back"

Guess what people, I don't want to go back either. I guarantee you that my goal is not to go back. Doesn't mean it won't happen but it if I do slip a little, I guarantee you your scrutiny over every morsel I eat is not going to prevent that.

Back off!!!!

Sorry for the vent here on the forum but I just couldn't sleep tonight. Mind racing with all of these thoughts. Needed to share.

Holidays are tough.  A lot of people want to be supportive but they don't know how.  Enjoy your family, your friends, your holiday, venting and all. Life is too short to be upset over M&Ms or Jelly Beans or rude comments.  You know you're in charge of your health.

So glad I have this forum to turn to for support. Thank you

I went through the same thing with my band...soooooo, for my sanity, I am keeping my sleeve a secret for as long as I can.  I know the constant "watchfulness" of others only made things harder on me.  I cant go through that again.... Hang in there. Your weight loss speaks for itself.  You are doing great!

CJ

That's the kind of thing I want to and need to hear. Thanks for the support!

Well we are proud of your accomplishments!  We know exactly what you are going through and the mental and physical hard work it takes.  Give your family a pass and yourself a pat on the back for holding back for as long as you did.  They know not what they say because they haven't experienced what we have. We will always have your back in good times and bad.  Good luck on the rest of your journey!  

Thank you for having my back. It's so nice to hear from folks who know what I'm going through. 

Wow - did the people you were with actually say those things?!  How rude of them!  This might be a good time to have a script in mind that you can use to reply with every time someone says something so inappropriate to you.  

"I don't care to talk about my diet.  How about that March Madness basketball stuff?"  or "Thanks, but I'm happy with the way I eat.  Can you believe who died on The Walking Dead last week?!"  Etc.  Acknowledge that they've spoken, that the topic isn't open for discussion, and change the subject immediately.  Repeat as often as necessary until people get the point.  

That is an excellent suggestion. I still have the gang here for a few days and I look forward to trying it out. Thank you!

You're welcome - good luck!