Freaking out a week before surgery
Hello from Key West FL!
Listen--your feelings are legitimate. I just had VSG on 3/2/15, just shy of 3 weeks ago. I'm 45 years old, am divorced & have struggled with my weight for pretty much my entire life. I had a similar relationship with food that you mentioned. Please believe me when I tell you that the HARDEST PART of this entire process was the beginning of the 2 week all-liquid diet! I did the same & cried a lot. Remember that this is a journey that isn't just about food & weight---it's about mind over matter, too. The entire 2 weeks of the optifast diet I was NOT hungry, but I wanted to eat. Why? Because i was conditioned that way. It's comforting. Once I got the surgery(which thankfully was a breeze for me, recovery & all!), I realized that I've got this, & you will too. It's a big step, but don't sweat the small stuff. This 2 week torturous liquid phase is there for more than the few reasons that your surgeon has given you (liver shrinkage, weight loss before surgery)....it's MENTALLY preparing you for post-surgery. It's going to be fine--don't back out. This is the best gidt that I've ever given myself & was worth the 10 months of stress, anxiety, doubt, & jumping through hoops to get approved by my insurance. You can do this!!!! :)
What you're feeling is normal, but it's not a reason to doubt having surgery that's for sure.
I had my VSG 2 months ago, and for me personally, eating is just now becoming enjoyable again. It was SO frustrating to get full off of two bites and that's it. I could barely taste my food and then I was stuffed.
I was a volume eater before- I really loved that "full" feeling. When you get full post-op- its a completely different sensation, you'll never have that old feeling again. Its a bit strange and can be uncomfortable, not pleasant. Do I miss it the old days? Sometimes. But I wouldn't trade my surgery to have it back that's for sure!
Now I can eat a little more- still very small portions, but more than two bites! I can enjoy my meal and feel just a little more "normal", and usually wake up the next day having lost some weight. Amazing feeling :) Unlike the old days where I was almost always guaranteed a higher number when I dared to step on the scale.
Its all new... there is a lot to adjust to... but I'm sure you'll feel its worth it in the end.
on 3/20/15 10:19 am
Hi Zoopop17, I'm more on Ellie's side of the age spectrum. I'm 50 and reached my new high at 250 a few weeks ago, 5'4". I've been thinking on and off about WLS for years. Went to a free seminar at the hospital where I work, read forums researched and just couldn't bring myself to decide on such an extreme solution. So I said I need to do this 'the old fashioned way'.....well 5-6 years later I started thinking of the sleeve since it wasn't available back when I went to the seminar. A few weeks ago I had a coming to Jesus moment because I've been so miserable with myself and now publicly embarrassed with my looks. I decided I was going to do the sleeve. I talked to my husband and told him about my decision and also told him, "it's time FOR YOU AND ME to stop being scared of this. I need to do this and this time around I just need you to support me." In the last couple of weeks after feeling that I had made a decision I still felt some fear, just like you. I kept thinking how am I going to handle my relationship with food and not be able to eat what I like, etc etc....well the reason I NEED to do this surgery is precisely so I can have what I've always wished I could have LESS APPETITE and more restriction. I know it won't be easy, aside from the fact that I'm a super fast eater, and that won't fly, I'm sure of it. So god willing when I have surgery scheduled I know I will have a huge learning curve, but I'm ready because I'm sick of nothing working. As I read your post though, it's funny because I told my husband today, as sure as I feel of doing this I know I'll get to the day of and probably be nervous and scared as well. But as long as I don't have doubts that this is what I want to do, I'll be ok. And you should to. If for any reason you're not sure then you should reconsider. But only if you're not sure this is what you want.
I just read a post on another forum about 1 hour ago of a person that had their surgery scheduled this week and was in PRE-OP getting ready for surgery and BAILED OUT. So if you're not sure of doing it, even if it's at the very last second, then you just can't do it (it would be best not to wait that far along, as I'm sure she'll be billed for the surgery still).
Hey C! We're surgery twins. :) I'm having mine on 3/28, but I'm in Australia (from the US originally, but moved here last year) which means that with the time zone difference ours ends up being on the same day! Haha.
I've been on the pre-op diet for 3 weeks now, with still a week to go - and surprisingly, the longer I've been on it, the easier it has gotten, and the more I've realized that yes, I CAN do this! I think it's been years since I heard my stomach actually grumble before this, haha. I never let it get to that point as I always felt nauseated when I got hungry! And the first 3-4 days of the pre-op diet were ROUGH... when you're detoxing from carbs, your body really puts you through it. But after those first few difficult days, I felt much better, and I've actually learned that I can be hungry temporarily and it won't kill me, heh. I think it's actually been a really good lesson for me. Hang in there! Pretty soon the hardest part will be over and your life will change for the better. :)
Thank you everyone for your help. To know that I am not the only one going through this makes me feel so much better. It is comforting to know that my feelings are somewhat normal. Everyday on the optifast does get easier.
I just sort of feel like I am walking around a grocery store hungry. Every commercial I see on tv or bag of food that someone walks by me with looks good, even if it is not something I really like. I think I am just bored of the optifast, and I haven't quite figured out how to make broth more interesting. I keep telling myself that I can have real soup on April 11 and I honestly really love a good soup.
I have very good friends who are trying their best to keep me entertained. The busier I am, the less I think about food. And, where typically we would've met up at a wine bar or restaurant, my friends and I have been swimming, going to the beach, and walking around the lake, so these are all good things. :)
Again, thank you for your support. I really cannot put into words how much better I feel.