Nerves and a first post in over a year. . . .

So this is my first post in over a year now.  I was originally supposed to be sleeved last March 16th.  My mom was going to go with me to Mexico to have it done, but for what ever reason she dicked the dog and did not get her paperwork in for her passport so she couldn't get across the border.  

At the time I was pissed, I'll admit it.  I had booked the flights to San Diego, made all the arrangements and paid my deposit for surgery.  Only to get waylaid by the person I asked to go with me.  So, my mom and I instead spent a week in San Diego.  I tried not to let it bother me, but it has.  

3 months later my mom died.  Now, I'm thankful that I got to have the time with her in San Diego, but I'm still pissed that I didn't get to have my surgery done.  I could be a year post op now, instead, I'm still over weight, struggling with Type 2 diabetes, and angry at my parents for passing away (My dad died a year before my mom).  It makes for bad habits that I had broken prior to surgery.  

I've been emotionally eating again, smoking again, and generally not caring. I'm saddened by this, and I've decided that today is the day I'm making the changes.  

I just contacted my surgeon, and they kept my deposit on hold for me to allow me to reserve another time for surgery.  My vacation time kicks in in a few months and I'm planning my trip to Mexico for surgery.  I just started using the patch to stop smoking, and I'm committed to becoming a healthier me.  

My parents always told me (To quote Bob Dylan) Live the Life you Love and Love the Life you Live.  That's my motto now.  I'm going to get healthy.  I'm going to make the changes and be a healthier, happier me.  I will kick obesity in its over sized ass and be able to do things I've never been able to do before.  

I Can Do This.

I'm sorry about your Mom. I think you are doing the right thing by turning your grief into positive action.  You may be more focused and determined to succeed now than you were last year.  It sounds as if this is your time!  Good luck and I am sure you will be fine. 

I am sorry about your mom and dad.  Love your new motto and love that it originated with your parents (and, well, Bob Dylan.)  Love that you are quitting smoking and MOVING ON!  

~Shel

I'm sorry about the loss of both of your parents.

Nice to hear that you are determined to become healthier through weight loss surgery.

Good luck in your Journey.

Well I quit smoking with chanix and I smoked 20 years and the only thing that worked for me and I tried everything. Good luck to you you will be strong and you will do this!!!

wow you are going through a lot right now. Glad you have decided to take control and do what you know you need to do. Good for you, take care

Thank you for all the support!  Quitting has not been easy, but then again nothing every worth anything was easy to do!  I can't wait to get out and start walking again!  It's finally warmed up enough that I can 😄