I feel so...vulnerable.

I'm 3 weeks out and 23 pounds down as of today.  Mostly I've been feeling pretty good and even-keeled, but noticed an odd sort of sadness yesterday that has continued into today.  Along with this, there's a real sense of physical vulnerability, a desire to bundle up in warm clothes or burrow under the covers.  Too bad I'm single, cuddles would be nice too.

I think layers are being peeled back on multiple levels.  It's actually not surprising to me that I'm feeling strangely exposed.  Not feeling a need to change or run away from it.  Just noticing, and sharing.

This process has been very mentally challenging for me.  I started seeing a therapist before surgery, because it was recommended, but my gosh, I'd be lost without her.  I actually look forward to therapy every week.  (I had bad experiences with therapists when I was pre-20, so this is sort of a big deal for me.)  But even with my awesome talk therapist that I see every week, after I'd lost about 100 pounds my mind went sideways and I started having pretty serious issues with feeling disconnected from my new body and my new life - since both are pretty much unrecognizable to me now.  So I started seeing a second therapist with a different modality (DMT - dance movement therapy).  

I can only imagine what a basket case I'd be without therapy :/  Being kind to myself is like a full time job.  Sadly I don't have that kind of time to devote to it :(

Try not to get overwhelmed by the full scope of your recovery instead look at it one day at a time. Right now, you just have to get through today, when that seems impossible remember that we are sending positive thoughts your way. All will be fine.

Hormones have totally got me these last 5 weeks. The first 2-3 weeks I was a weepy mess. It couldbe your hormones are catching up with you.

Unfortunately, you just have to grin and bear it for the hormone dumping as I undestand it.