Getting back on track means getting rid of excuses

I thought I'd just check in with my OH fam. Ive had a lot of stress lately and been MIA. I did make it to the conference and was really happy to see old and new faces :)

Ive been slowly gaining weight again (up and down, story of my friggen life) but I realize I have a million excuses why. None of them change the fact that I feel fat and bloated and uncomfortable.

I always have a point where I realize I cant keep going up - that point where your clothes start getting tight and not fitting right. Yeah, I'm there.

I had been slightly displaced and without a home for the last month so I used that and all the stress to justify eating reeses PB cups for breakfast....I finally moved yesterday, and even though I still have a lot of other things going on, I decided to finally abandon the "excuse wagon" and made a list of all those excuses, and crossed them off in red and went shopping. I usually have an idea of what I want to cook for the week before i go, but this time, I just went and loaded up with tons of veggies and fresh meat and some whole grain foods. I made a goal to eat only meals that I cook, and only eat what I bring to work. Suprisingly, I woke up pretty excited about the fact that I had 6-7 different kinds of fresh veggies in my fridge and protein shakes ready for snacks.  Just getting back on track reduces my stress, or at least my perception of it - its weird how it works but being "off track" is in and of itself a stressor for me. When will I wake up and realize that and stop getting off track???!!

I realized that I will have to hang a poster of excuses in my room with them all crossed off so I can start to really grasp this concept that excuses are BS and there's really never any good reason to eat chocolate for breakfast. Thankfully, I live 3 miles from work and can always go home for lunch if I get too lazy or too much going on to bring lunch, and I live next to a whole foods so there's never a reason to hit any fast food restaurant.

So, here I go. Another attempt to get healthy, heal my body, and feel better about myself. If I lose weight, awesome. If not, oh well. Im sure it will happen but I have placed that at the bottom of my list of priorites about why I am doing this. My new place has no tile for a bathroom scale....so no more obsessive, damaging, derailing daily weighing for me.

Congratulations on taking back control. :) Best of luck!!!

It was great meeting you in the flesh at the conference.... You have the tools to gain control back ;)

Hugs

Donna

Sometimes it's just about the "getting back up" that counts...not the falling down!!

Remain my shero!!

Hey Allison - sometimes it's just about getting your head in the right space so you can arm yourself and go into battle once again.  Because, for me, every day is some kind of battle whether it's physical, emotional, mental...or all three!  So far today I haven't had even one nibble of sugar.  Now THAT is a good day! 

Good for you! You have had a rough couple of years and hopefully things will continue to get better. I LOVE your idea to make a poster of your excuse list. I may copy that!

Very happy you made it to the conference. Really glad you are back in the game. Having a Whole Foods next door, wow, I have to drive an hour and a half to the nearest one. Having access to good food is great. Oh, and I loved having you skate with me.

It was super great seeing you at the conference!  You know how I adore you, and I'm glad you still like me even though I'm kind of a maniac :)  Have you thought about looking at this as not an "attempt" but just a continuation of learning?  A part of the journey and all that hoopla?  We talk a lot in therapy (I'm sure you've talked about it in therapy too) about being present in the now, being OK with who and what you are now even if you have golas (lose weight, eat healthier, etc).  We all fall off the wagon sometimes, and I honestly think anyone who says they don't is lying either to themselves or on the board.  So, maybe, it's not so much falling off the wagon, being off track, whatever as it's all just a part of the journey.  Don't healthy people sometimes eat a bunch of pizza and guzzle down beer?  Does that negate their general healthiness?  I just want you to believe in you.  You are a beautiful and kind and intelligent woman who has been through way too much, and I think you should maybe try, occasionally, to see all the wonderful things you've already accomplished.  I say this as a Type A perfectionist who drives herself crazy with completely impossible ideals.  Muah!

Good point. I guess I'll keep learning and getting back to my better left style changes I may have temporarily abandoned :-p

You and me both ;)