Doubting Family? Help!

Your mom sounds like she's afraid of change.  Sure, it would be awesome if you had her support, but you are an adult and capable of making your own medical decisions.  I'm sure she'll come around once she sees how much happier and healthier you are post-op.  

Thanks GwenMo. You are absolutely right. She is afraid of change and it is up to me to show her change is a good thing! 

Sounds like your mother is scared for you.  Mothers would rather see there children overweight and unhealthy than to not see them at all.  She may not understand that this may be your best chance to live a long healthy life but it seems like she cares for you.  Her rejoicing for you may come when you are successful and healthy.  I know you need the encouragement now but that may need to come from another source.  Just know that many  people are very successful with this procedure and you can get the support that you need from people that have been through it.

Thank you for your comment Esther. I do think she meant well, but I have learned I will not get the encouragement I need from her. I have been very impressed by all the wonderful comments on this page though, and it has definitely made up for my lack of real life encouragement. :) 

Your mom is totally uneducated about WLS.  I'm sure she means well, but she doesn't have the knowledge she needs to support you.  You are the one though, who by now should have the knowledge and will need to educate her.  WLS is anything but disabling and once she sees how much more you can do in life because of it, she will change her thinking rapidly.  Give her some things to read or bring her with you to a surgeon appointment or support group meeting.  And most of all, you are doing this for yourself.  If your mom can't give you support right now, so be it.  Find people who can.  There are loads of us out there!

Good luck to you!

Thank you for your comment Judy. You are absolutely right. I have felt lots of support from OH posters like you. Thank you. 

I don't know that this will help much but I have a similar yet different situation. My mother is all for me having the surgery. In fact she's sought out financing and other ways I could have the surgery before when I didn't have an insurance that would help pay for it. However, she doesn't want me to have the RNY. Her heart is set on the sleeve because she thinks the RNY risks are too high and because she says that it is irreversible.

I also have family members who are just hesitant about it all. They think I should just keep doing what I'm doing even though my results have been spotty and all over the place (periods of loss and gain). These are usually the family members that haven't always been around to see the times when my orthodoc tells me at 28 that I need a full knee replacement but they won't do it because I'm too young. I have to remind them that at my age I am trying to avoid the complications that run in our family (hypertension, gout, stroke, heart attack, diabetes, etc.) that are only compounded and more likely to occur because I am morbidly obese. I've been lucky so far to not have them and I don't want to ever have them. I remind them this is for me and no one else (and trust me it's taken a long time to get to the place where I stopped wanting to be skinny so people would like me), this is the best chance I have, I am well informed and prepared for the life change. That usually is enough to kill the conversation though it probably doesn't take away the hesitation for them. I have to have positive people on my team to succeed and while I won't stop loving my family or even disconnect from them being in my life I won't allow anyone to kill the journey I am taking on.

My sister is probably my biggest supporter and the day I told her that I was chosen for my employer's program she asked me what that meant for US. I told her it meant we were joining a gym and supporting each other in the eating department. She was ready to dive in and go down the path with me and has been really awesome in helping motivate me even though she will annoy me in the hospital (I'm a lightweight with pain tolerance).

Thank you for your wonderful story. I am sorry to hear about your knees and other complications. Just further proof that you need WLS, right? I absolutely loved your sisters response, what does this mean for US. How lovely. She is going to be so vital to your journey. I wish you the best of luck. 

My mom said almost the same thing right up till the time they took me back. in the pre op room she said its not to late to change your mind. I was really worried. but after surgery she was great and pampered me like I was five.  I think they just worry. I just told my mom I know the risk and I also know the risk of not doing this and I'm choosing this for me so I need you to be supportive. Good luck I'm sure she is just worried about u

Thanks Kristin. I can totally see her saying something like that at the last minute. Hahaha. Glad your Mom came around. I hope mine will too. :)