I feel like I'm losing control a little bit...

thank you :)

Cheering you on as you crack back down!  :-)  

Does your therapist disagree with your surgeon's plan?  I know that what I'm doing works for me, my nutritionist, and my surgeon, so if my therapist thought I wasn't getting the calories I needed I'd probably be pretty frank and say that the medical staff that I'd hired felt I was completely healthy and it wasn't up for discussion.  You don't need discouragement in any form.  

You've done a great job!  You know how this game is played.  

Thank you :)

My surgeon wont give me a calorie goal, so she is not disagreeing with them.  But she is pushing me to up my calories.  I really respect her -- she has helped me tremendously get to the bottom of a lot of my issues.  At the end of the day I need to take the advice from my team and figure out what works for me.  

Upping my calories a bit isn't a big deal, but mentally making that decision has led me to a few days of going over even that new range.  So I need to figure it out.  I'm going back to planning and eating what I planned.  Less of this, oh this sounds good ok.  

Thanks to everyone for the support!  It was great to wake up to all of these positive posts.  I don't know how I would have handled this post surgery time without this board.

Do not let your therapist derail you!

A couple of thoughts.

First, when I read your post, I thought, OK, what is up with the therapist giving you advice that seems counterproductive/to go against your ultimate goal. Upon further reflection, I wonder if the therapist might have given you advice that you interpreted as not starving yourself/giving yourself license to have a great time. Just a question.

I guess where I am going with this is that I encourage you to think about all of the different ways your therapist's advice could be taken and use it to reaffirm your path.

Second, I encourage you to think about how you can live life on YOUR terms, and be OK with the outcomes, both positive and negative. In order to do this successfully, you have to figure out what your bottom-line terms are. What is absolutely REQUIRED in order for YOU to be successful here? For me, it is about moderating the carbs while keeping protein and liquids up. I like to keep my total calories consistent, and if I have days (like yesterday) where I start off on the wrong foot, I know that I need to add in some extra movement to counterbalance it all. Anticipation and rehearsal are a big part of it, as well. If you know you are going to be in a place that is likely to trigger you, what is your PLAN for getting through it intact? I think having this is half the battle.

For example: I knew before going to Paris that I was going to eat stuff I shouldn't, but I had a plan that I estimated would get me through with minimal collateral damage. It involved giving myself permission to try some of the wonderful pastries there, while counterbalancing with lots of protein and water. I knew that I was going to be walking and bike riding like a fiend. And most importantly, I knew that I would be returning home, away from all of that wonderfulness. I knew that I would have to deal with cravings, but the plan was to do my three day clean eating routine (my preop diet). I executed on all points and was ok. After three days of clean eating, the sugar monster has been stuffed back into its cave.

The trigger foods are never going to go away. How we manage coexisting with them is the key. I saw a quote on here that one bite is too much and a thousand bites is never enough of our favorite trigger foods, and that is so true. I knew I was on the high wire act in regards to the local patisserie in Paris, but it turned out ok for me, and it might have been ok for some others on here as well. I am absolutely certain it would have led to absolute ruin for more than one other OH'er because we're all different. YMMV, and it's about finding what works for YOU.

I have complete confidence that you can do this.

Laurie

This is great advice.  I have been very focused on following my plan to a T that I haven't really figured out what will work for me in the long run.  I have to deal w/ traveling for work and my solution so far has been to pull away from my team and bring in my own food.  This in the long run is not a solution.  

I'm not sure what will work for me.  I think this is going to take some trial and error with lots of reflection and correction along the way.  

You are absolutely right on the trial and error. I have days where I try a different approach and blow it. I look at my numbers at the end if the day and think, that didn't work, so what am I doing differently tomorrow? Then I do it. That is the biggest difference between preop and now. I had no confidence in my or my body's ability to do the right thing and so I gave up when I screwed up. Now, I know I can control the situation no matter what, as long as I keep my head in the game. That is key for me, I think, not letting things go too far get out of mindfulness. Yes, I screw up. Yes, I try things that don't work. But, I know I have to get right back in the saddle of "old reliable" and slog through it.

Your last paragraph says it all.:-) you can do this.

laurie

I once lost a significant amount of weight using weigh****chers. It took me 5 YEARS!!! I would go months losing 1-2 lbs month. I used to call it "practicing maintenance"  I think as I lost weight I was pretty satisfied with how I looked and how fit I was so it just wasn't as important to me to be 100% with food. 

I don't know if it was good or bad, I did gain the weight back with breast cancer treatment and a job where I traveled every week so it was like being on vacation every week. Not excuses, just the mindset I had. I've been worried about that myself lately. I have to maintain a very high level of vigilance to keep from developing that same mindset  of being so happy with how I look that I let things go.  

Yeah - I haven't been this small in 10 years, and I've never been this fit.  It is easy for it to stop being a priority.  But honestly - I'm not done.  I want to lose another 25 - 30 lbs.  And definitely do not want to backslide.  So I need to keep it a priority - probably forever.