Does anybody lie about having had surgery?

Oh... forgot to mention.  

i have an older sister with a severe heart condition and bmi of around 42.  She knows I have surgery.  I have tried to encourage her to look into it and she is thinking about it but afraid.  Then her friend explains in detail how she lost about 150 pounds through diet and exercise.  My sister stops looking into surgery because her friend is an inspiration.  Turns out this woman is in my support group and had Rny- and tells nobody.  I get why she doesn't tell people, but **** it is totally ******g my sister over.  I won't reveal the friends surgery to my sister because I have a deep respect for folks who go to group and I will not share out what is revealed there and respect privacy.  But damn!

Um wow Happyteacher I would be seriously pissed at this friend for lying to my sister if your sister needs help! This friend needs to man up and tell the truth in my opinion! I would keep things confidential too but in this situation I'd be strongly tempted to tell my sister myself or have a long talk with the friend about fessing up (preferably the friend fessing up)! Your sister has a severe heart condition? I know it's none of my business but I feel so passionately that your sister is being potentially robbed out of surgery because of her friend. I mean, at least if your sister knew the truth, she could look into surgery and decide for herself if its the right choice. Ughhh I'd be pissed. If it were any other situation, i could understand not telling people because it's a personal choice and very private. I think I'd be discussing it with the friend. Just my opinion, which amounts to a hill of beans :-)

I only told a handful of people before surgery because I didn't want the judgment and the trying to talk me out of it. I've told more people since surgery.

One thing about me is that I have a hard time keeping big things like this to myself. And if someone directly asked me if I had WLS, I couldn't lie. Even if someone asked me how I did it, I think I'd have a hard time not mentioning the surgery (no one has really noticed my weight loss yet, so I haven't been in this situation yet). I tend to be honest to the point of over-sharing. In my head, lies of omission are still lies. I think it comes from years of being lied to by significant others. But we are all different, and I don't judge those who want to keep their surgery a secret.

One thing I've noticed is that I have a much easier time telling people I don't know very well. The receptionist at my chiropractor's office, ladies I do water aerobics with. I think it's because their judgment matters far less than the judgment of people closer to me.

I only told my husband and mother and they are sworn to secrecy.  I just say I am doing a different way of eating.  No flour and no sugar if they ask.  I am super private and am so glad I kept it at that.  MBMB

People know when we have WLS, there really isn't much value in hiding it, they still know.  For me, personally, and just my opinion... I have no problem telling anyone and everyone how I lost weight and maintained these years.  What I DO have a problem with is people asking how much I lost and then they ask what I weigh now.  You can see them doing the math in their heads.

I don't think it is an unreasonable question to ask a successful weight loss person how they did it.  2/3 of the country is just plain fat.  Normal weight people are indeed the minority.  People want to know how you did it because clearly it worked and maybe they want to do the same or they know someone that wants to do the same.  I just don't think that is unreasonable.  But, wanting to know what your start weight was or how much you weigh now... since when is it acceptable or socially appropriate to ask what a woman weighs?  Or a man for that matter?

People have no manners many times.  Asking someone's weight is like asking for details on their fav positions during sex.  It isn't appropriate conversation.

This was a big question that I had when I started this process.  So far I can say that yes, it is possible to keep it a secret.  I started off very heavy, and the heavier you are the longer it takes for anyone to notice the weight loss. 

People have just started noticing my weight loss in the last few weeks.  When they ask what I have done, I say that I stopped drinking sweet tea and pop in April (which is true) and that I also have started watching my portion sizes (which is true).  This satisfies almost everyone, but if they keep asking about it I tell them that losing the weight has also caused me to be a lot more careful about the foods that I eat, and that I am really staying away from sugar and it has helped a lot. 

I know this is technically lying and I don't like lying, but I know that it is really important to my health for this to work for me.  I know from my past diet failures that as soon as people star****ching what I'm eating and judging my choices that is when my diet starts to fail.  I feel like in my case keeping the surgery a secret is the only option just based on some of the very judgemental people who are in my life. I do have some people who are supportive and I would like to tell them, however I know that if you tell just one person, even someone you trust, all it takes is for them to tell one other person, and then it just multiplies. 

Good luck to you, I hope that it works out! 

Don't lie about it. It is really obvious and the people who think they're close to you will resent you for lying.

That is what happened when my sister-in-law lied about hers. We had both been struggling with weight loss and she started dropping weight quickly and consistently. When asked by anyone (not just me) about how she was managing it she would only say she was seeing dietician and being careful about what she ate. Though not a lie it was still deceptive.

She unfortunately started acting differently too and saying things like 'it's amazing what a healthy diet can do'. Her younger sister got so stressed that she wasn't able to replicate the weight loss as well, it was really sad. I'm more comfortable with my own weight now but feel like I've lost someone who I thought I was close to all because she wasn't honest. It's sad because I just can't see her in the same light any more.

I have friends who've had the surgery too and our relationships are great. They are happier and healthier for it. The difference was their honesty about it.

I'm not saying you need to tell everyone but the people close to you or other people around you who are genuinely interested about your weight loss for themselves and their own health shouldn't be decieved.