Interesting support meeting this evening

I've definitely been reading more than I've been posting lately, but I felt compelled to get my thoughts out about this evening.

I went to my local WLS support meeting for the second time today. Last time I went about a week post-op, I was a little upset about what was being talking about in the meeting. One of the leaders was spewing terrible facts and basically told his life story while the other guy was struggling to get back on the losers bench (which is fine, I actually was happy he was telling us his troubles.) and talked about that. But the information they were giving pre-ops and post-ops was just not good, at least to my 1 week-old mind.

Tonight, it wasn't much better. I go to grad school a good distance from where I had my surgery, so I try to come as often as my schedule allows. The one leader had a revision from lap-band to sleeve and was a few weeks post-op I presume and had only lost half a pound. Not sure what the other guy was up to, but he was still talking about his struggles. I mostly sat there staring at my water bottle with my jaw clenched as they talked to these people about the surgery. The one guy even talked about how he would eat too much pasta and have the foamies. Or he has a 2 cup capacity now. It was a lot for me to handle, even at 9 weeks out.

I ended up talking to the program director after our group ended about my concerns with these two leaders because I didn't feel like we were doing anything constructive here. I'm no expert, but as a medical professional, it was hard to sit through these two wls patients telling incorrect or outdated information and feel like this was ok.

I guess my main point in typing this up is that I was just sad. I was sad for these two individuals who had made this choice and weren't talking about good skills to help or using their tool correctly. I was sad for myself, sitting in this room, wanting to learn and support, but instead, wondering why I was there. I was sad for the other attendees because I know they wanted to learn more and I wanted to learn from them. The program director and I discussed speaking up more, but I'm a bit hesitant because I don't want to bring attention to myself. I just want us all to learn from each other, not just the two guys sitting up front. I almost wanted to go join another surgery group to learn something!

Have any of you had this problem? Any suggestions?

That is really too bad. My surgeon does all of his own support meetings and they are extremely helpful and informative. I drive a long way from my home to go to the San Jose group but it's worth it. However, when i was in weight loss I didn't go to any support meetings. I didn't read any online posts either. It wasn't that I was against any of it, I just didn't know anyone there and wasn't that interested in it. I was very, very focused on what my surgeon told me and that was all I knew or did. I don't know if that was right or wrong, but I didn't even know that there was a possibility of not being successful. I ate from the "good choice" list, went in for my regular appointments, drank all my water and exercised. Sometimes I think that knowing too much or getting mix information can cause confusion and frustration. It sounds to me like you would be better off not attending these so called support groups. You sound much more informed and intelligent that the ones leading the group.

Thanks so much for your response. You have a really interesting perspective. I kind of feel like in a way, I'm similar in that I'm doing this on my own, but with a compilation of things from here and my surgeon's notes and my own medical background.

You're definitely right about knowing too much. I think I'm just going to continue my own path and go if I'm in the area. I may even try finding some groups where I go to school because they have several WLS programs. Or I'll just continue with my counselor at school and at least get my head right! haha

Thanks again! It's really nice hearing support from you.

The group I attend here in Austin is pretty awesome, but we do have some folks that say things that make me cringe sometimes. What I do is say something like, "Obviously, if that works for you and you're doing well, keep going, but I just wanted to give another experience since everyone is different... for me, that would never work because it's a trigger (or whatever)... what I do is XYZ"

That way I feel like I'm contributing and hopefully my weight loss success will speak for itself and people will at least hear me, even if they don't follow the advice. I'm not perfect by ANY stretch, but, overall... I think I do pretty good :)

So modest.  You are incredibly inspirational.  Following your posts and knowing we have the same surgeon made me feel so much more confident in the early days after surgery :)  And you keep it real.

Aha! Now I recognize your photo and who you are! There's so many of us now that it's hard to keep up. I'm a little slow sometimes. LOL

It doesn't help to say "I've lost 220 pounds so that's why you should do it my way and my way only". No one wants to hear that and frankly my way doesn't work for everyone.

Ganta is pretty awesome. Saved my life and seems to genuinely care. Now if his staff would get their act together... LOL

I don't see why that wouldn't help bc your weight loss is seriously amazing, but everyone's journey is so different and we all have to find our own paths. 

I don't expect you to remember me.  I'm pretty socially awkward which is why I haven't introduced myself to you yet, although I always see you and want to.

I love Dr. G!  I remember you responding to my post about my second post-op appt where he told me he would have liked to see me lost 4 pounds more, and I was so defeated.  What you said to me helped so much, and how hard he is on us in the first few months really has been motivational to me.  One of the reasons I work so damn hard is just to see a smile on his face :) 

Totally agree on the staff, although they are very nice :)

LOL! What's so funny is that I remember you from Facebook/Group and I remembered you here, but just now put 2 and 2 together. LOL! It's been a rough few months for me, I guess. Heck, the entire 2013 can just bite me at this point. Ha!

Yeah, I wish he wouldn't be so tough. I get it, but I think it really feels defeating for some of us. After the first one, I came home all feeling sorry for myself and my husband said... "yeah, so what? It's not like you can change anything, just show him". Ha! Wrong (right?) thing to say to me. His goal for me was 250. Pshaw. I'm almost to 150. Eat my dust, Dr. G!

THAT is why you are such an inspiration.  Seriously.  It's intimidating actually :)

I do wish he wasn't so hard on people.  There are so many people who end up just feeling defeated and demoralized, and it makes me sad.  We should be celebrating our accomplishments.  We all lose at different rates.  Love what your husband said.  Sounds like mine. 

LOL, don't be intimidated. Hell, I'm just me and frankly I sometimes think I must have been really lucky because who in the heck loses this much weight - nevermind gets to be 60+ BMI?!?! I mean, how screwed up is that, really? I'm just glad I took control when I did, ya know? I wish I had done it sooner, like you, but I wasn't ready for it. xoxo Of course, I'm STILL LOSING nearly 2 years out. So much for my "I'll make it by 1 year" ideology! Duh.

Yeah. The thing is that weight is a very emotional issue and most of us have such emotional issues around food and he's pretty tough. Having said that, after the first few months, he lightens up as things start to normalize.