This place is scaring me!

I am really new to this site and just had my surgery on 4/19. I must say that I have considered not coming here anymore because a lot of posts I have seen have not been kind, helpful or supportive. How disappointing! To me this is the reason I joined this site. I cannot talk to friends or family because none of them know I have had the surgery and, from past experience, I know they will not be supportive or helpful even if they knew. I guess I will just continue to plug along and depend upon myself, as I usually do, but it would be nice to find a core group of people who just want to help so that I don't feel so alone. To those 2 or 3 people that have offered kind words and advice. Thank you!! You help me to keep my faith in the goodness of people.

Im not really sure why you think this place is so bad - I havent had time to go through a lot of the recent threads, but this place is one of the biggest support networks I have. If you check out my latest post, you will see that there are tons of supportive people on here. When you are new and you dont know a lot of people, it might be hard to get that vibe from here, but if you open yourself up, post about yourself, and let people get to know you, you will quickly see that there is a lot of support here. One thing ive noticed that is that a lot of people come here, dont want to "share their private lives" on the internet but expect people to just support them...the more people know you, the more they will support you. Post and comment often and you will build a strong network of support. 

I'm sorry that you have found this site to be not as supportive as you would like or expect.  I have found the opposite (thankfully) and find the negative stuff to be the exception rather than the rule.

Please realize that you can block people if you need to - it's an option and should be used if someone is impacting you in a negative way/bullying you.

One thing that I would like to say is there are times when some "tough love" goes on here.  It isn't always wanted - but it is usually given from a place of love and respect. 

Hope I can help you on your journey!

I'm sorry to hear you haven't gotten the support you need during this journey. I think most people on here want to be helpful, but the ones who have been on here quite a while get tired of hearing the same things asked over and over again. I'm not sure what your experience has been so far on here, but if you have questions try using the search portion on the board and see if you can find out some information that way.

Good luck on your journey and don't give up on this forum so soon. There is a lot of good advice/ideas given on here.

 

I will agree there are some people here who think they know everything and that they are the expert on everything about weight loss.  They would be wrong but you will never convince them of that.  So you just have to let that stuff go and keep moving forward with a positive attitude.  I think there are alot more people here who want to be helpful than those who just want to be critical of everyone.  Again, just stick with us positive people!..  I will help you all I can.  I'm a new person too.  I have my surgery bright and early monday morning.  I'll check in after I'm alert and see how things are going with you.

Thanks! That means a lot. And... How bout I check on you as well!

This is the internet, communication is severely limited by lack of body language and eye contact.  It is hard to read people here.  Sometimes, the very people you think are not supporting you, might just end up writing a post that will save you.  If you really don't like the attitude or "voice" of someone in particular, you should block them.  This is your journey and you get to decide who helps you and who doesn't.  Just be careful that you don't end up blocking the very voices you most need to hear, but only you get to make that choice. 

I can tell you that for me, some of the people that come across with some tough love are the ones I would end up turning to in a crisis.  They would have my back and tell me the real truth, even if I didn't want to hear it.  Other people can't take that and need a softer approach but the poster doesn't know your needs and can only respond from where they are at right now in their journey.  I guess what I am telling you is that this place has a bit of everything. Take what helps you and leave the rest.

Thank you for your responses. I am glad to hear that this forum has been helpful to you and I hope I get the same out of it. I can truly say that In addition to the negativity I HAVE seen a lot of positive posts. Maybe I am just going through that hormonal, mood swing stuff I keep hearing about. I am also a little envious of all of the people who seem to have so much family support. I must confess, that I have not shared a lot about myself on here yet. I fear that if I do, many people would think I am whining or trying to throw a pity party... Let's just say I have had some hard things happen to me throughout my life, especially in the past year. I just want to keep my focus on the positives: that I am still standing and life, with all it's hard knocks has not broken me, even if I stand alone! On a good note, I have lost 22 pounds since April 12! YAYYYY ME!

Congratulations on your 22 pound weight loss so far. That's a fantastic start! You can do this! :)

Also, let me clarify. Noone has been mean to me on here. I was just commenting on some of the posts I have read that have been directed to other people. Some of them made me a little afraid to post my truths for fear of negative backlash. However, you are right, this is the internet. I will take what I can use and leave the rest. Thanks so much for your supportive comments! I feel much better now!