Just .2 away from "fighting weight" (aka ticker weight)

Okay, that was easier than I thought it would be. Less than a week and those 6 pounds that came back with me from my retreat are nearly gone. Even with birthday celebrations and a little tweak here and there, I still managed to stay mostly under calories and carbs. Yesterday's ice cream cake wasn't a great decision but I moderated what I ate so that's a serious win for me.

The first 3 months of the year are going to be stressful in my life. I own a bookkeeping firm and it's a lot of pressure and stress. There's also my husband's birthday, my daughter's birthday and my birthday and our anniversary. Add in a business trip or two. Yeah. That's a lot of celebrating. In two weeks, I'll be celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary with the man of my dreams at Six Flags and the Riverwalk in San Antonio. I know I'll come back with friends (aka pounds), but rather than throw it out the window and say "I'll start after that" my attitude has been more to eat moderately at a celebration if I choose to (and I don't always choose to) and get right back on track when I get back to my normal routine.

I'm not saying that's the right way to do it. I know many of you say it's dangerous and it most DEFINITELY is. But finding who I am and learning about myself has been a huge part of this process for me. I know myself enough that if I don't give myself permission to indulge here and there and if I don't eat mindfully at all times (even when I'm a little off plan) that I end up going down a really bad road and not taking care of my stuff. I'm nearly 20 months out and 211 pounds down, it's taken me a long long time to find a formula that works for me. At least right now.

I was laying in bed before I got on the scale this morning and meditating a bit. I was asking myself if I felt bad about coming back with those 6 pounds. How did I TRULY feel about it? For the first time, I realized I felt in control. I wasn't beating myself up and berating myself. I came home, saw the number, accepted it and moved into the action phase.

Which is interesting on a lot of levels. The old me would have said "well, hell" and went and found the cheese-its. In therapy, one of the tools we use is the stages of change (contemplation, etc etc) and being able to move straight into the action phase of change without that negative self talk is HUGE for me.

It's... empowering. I think that's what VSG has given me... power. I spent a lot of my life letting things happen to me and stealing my power. Being able to take control of a situation... well, that's amazing.

So, I overslept and missed yoga, but I think I may have found a little piece of me this morning.

Congratulations and thank you for sharing your journey....Barb

Honest and inspiring post! It's all about finding what works for each individual.  I am still in the early losing phase, but I hope i will be  feeling, thinking and acting as you described much later on.  You found a piece of yourself this a.m., and peace as well.

Thanks, 

Ellyn

you are an inspiration. thank you for sharing. i am 10 months out and i feel like i may not reach my goal of 199. can you share what a typical food day is like for you? maybe i can get some hints to help me too. thank you and again you are an inspiration to us all.

If you look at my "latest posts" and the daily "what are you eating" you'll get ideas. Honestly, there's no special formula or secret. You can also friend me on MyFitnessPal.com - my diary is open to friends.

Candy
I see a lot of you in me & I know that is why I am drawn to you. You continue to inspire me. Thank you for keeping us all updated on this little journey back to your ticker weight. I knew you were going to reach it & soon. You are a fighter who is determined to succeed.
Xo

Thanks! It just felt good to realize... I can do it.

Sounds like you are learning how to live in "maintenance."

Also known as "living."

Yeah, I think that's part of it... I still want to lose, but at this far out, I have to learn to find that balance and if that means just maintaining at times, I'm okay with that. It's really about living, for sure.

Candy, thank you for your post.  I beat myself up so much over my weight and wonder if this is for me.  Can I finally have the surgery and get the weight off.  Not allow this to still be a hit myself over the head repeatedly for screwing up a day or a meal or whatever.  I am so glad to see that there are others who are at there with the same problems and have rose above it.  Now I feel just a lot more comfortable about my surgery date and that YES I can do this.  I have accomplished everything I have put my mind to except for my weight. 

Also congratulations on the 20 year anniversary...way to go!!!  Seeing your acceptance of yourself and the number and your old me that didn't take up all the bad things to compensate for the scale increase that is a huge plus for me in my thought process.  I am ready to have some of that power you have.  Thank you!