Family unsupportive
Family can be the best and the worst. My very best advice is to not engage the people who are negative. if she says I dont want to eat soup all the time just smile and go on with taking care of business. "I lost 20 # without surgery" just smile and know that unlike her you will be KEEPING all the weight you lose off and not relosing it for the rest of your life.
We have to know in our minds that WE made the decisions we made and WE are HAPPPY with the decisions. We have to harden our hearts a bit sometimes and nurture our own selves during these times ,without food. If she says why aren't you talking/answering/etc simply say There is nothing too discuss. I have nothing to say about this subject .say it sweetly and kindly and with a smile and a hug. She is trying to get a rise out of you. it is unfortunate for a mom who should be your biggest supporter,to be a downer,but it is what it is.
When she finds out she is not bringing you down or hurting yoU(even if it DOES hurt,i get this),but she doesn't need to get any satisfaction from hurting you. If you stop reacting,she might stop trying to provoke a reaction.
GL
Lap Band 2006
VSG 2008
I hear yah! My family is very unsupported with WLS. I can't even tell them! I tried to bring it up and had to hear an hour long rant of how ppl who have that its the easy way out and blah blah blah. My husbands side knows and are very supportive but my side not so much. I think at it like this, I am my own person, I am going to do what I want to do and I don't need negativity every time I see them so I decided that they don't need to know.
Good luck, I hope it gets better for you.
I teach my kids there are 2 kinds of people in the world,those that get it and those that dont.And we have to have compassion for those who dont..lol.In all things in life.
Your mom just doesnt get this.She might never.My mom doesnt either but I am now thinner than her and my sister so I just dont care anymore.I look pretty...lol and I feel sooooo good!
Hey Sharla,
I'm 5'1" also and had my surgery on 11/27/12. My surgery weight was 216. Alas, I'm only 50. We're almost twins. You're in a great place. You do not need her approval or support. You did this for you and that's great. You saw what was coming down the pike and took action. I wish both you and your husband good luck on your journey.
Tina
HW: 235 SW: 216
I am so sorry you are going through this! Who can say why your mom is unsupportive but I'm sure there is more to it than she is saying. Maybe she is a little jealous.
Your dad deserves to have you there taking care of him and so I think it is a good choice to go. As far as your mom goes, I would talk to her and say, "I am not sure why you have such a problem supporting me as your daughter but I want to see and spend time with my dad; you do not need to fix anything for me while I am with you and since it is a sore subject, I don't think we should talk about my surgery. I will fix my own food and take care of myself. I hope you can respect my feelings and allow me to be with my father." or something along those lines, at least to clear the air.
Good luck, keep taking care of yourself despite the lack of support from you family.
Jenn
My wife was so against the surgery that I didn't even let her go to any of my pre-op meetings, since I was constantly berated about how I should be doing things the "respectable" way. Now having lost 151 lbs of my initial 347 lbs, she is now going for the surgery. The lack of support is not lack of love, it is fear. It is fear of the unknown and fear of loss. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand. That is the best you can do. That way you can live with it and not be disappointed.
