Why I believe in moderation...

I have been really thinking about this in response to a number of recent posts.  I know there is the "moderation" camp which I *think* means it is acceptable to eat anything during weight loss as long as it is within a particular calorie allotment and without respect to carbs or fat or other dietary restriction.  The I guess there is the "limited" camp (I can't think of a better term) that believes eating during weight loss should be limited with respect to carbs, and perhaps limited to lower calorie ranges.  I'm sure this isn't a full and accurate characterization of either end of this spectrum, but those are the parts I've been thinking about.

I *think* the moderation folks believe it is better to establish a long-term plan of eating that will serve them in weight loss and beyond, and the limited folks feel like it is better to focus keenly on the initial time after surgery to lose the weight while it is easier and before fatigue sets in.  I characterize that camp as "saving that for maintenance."

Philosophically, I don't see "losing phase" as that different from "maintenance phase."  In fact, I think that for me, maintainence will look at lot like right now.  Maybe higher density on the calories, maybe not.  I'm not planning on adding in a lot of foods that I wouldn't eat right now.  Because I am not on a "diet."   I am having a healthy relationship with food.  I am more in the "limited" camp because I choose not eat certain foods (besides sugar, I don't eat most wheat, corn or rice). 

I just know that my ability to eat certain foods moderately is limited.  I know that I can eat some foods moderately if I expend a lot of my energy (willpower) to limit it, and I'm willing to sit with the "after" cravings for a while.  I keep putting it out there that it's always an option to not eat *any* M&Ms if 10 is too hard.   But I'm in the "moderate" camp because if I *can* eat it moderately, I do.  

Hey Happy,

I'm glad you posted this.  I was thinking about that yesterday too after reading the posts.  I think it depends solely on the individual as to whether moderation with will for him/her.  My "go to" meal used to be a box of velveeta mac -n-cheese.  I know that I can't eat that in moderation so I just don't have it.  Do I miss it?  Oh boy, you bet.  However, like you I am learning to have a healthy relationship with food so I just don't let myself go there.

I have been trying to limit my carbs and now I find myself very tired.  I don't know if it's because I'm not exercising like I should or if I'm not getting enough carbs.  I digress, though.

I like your term "limited" very much because that doesn't put in my head that it's never going to be able to cross my lips again.  Again, I think this topic is very individualized and means something different to each person.

Thanks for posting this.

Amy

Amy,

When I have decided to let a food go, I actually miss it less.  If it has a hold over me, and makes me lose my peace of mind, I tell myself it was just feeding the monkey.  You may miss those foods less and less as time goes on!  Hugs!!

I think it depends on what different folks mean by moderation. Does it mean "anything" in small quantities? Because that kind of addresses your point in the bottom paragraphs: there are foods I can moderate and foods I can't moderate (or can moderate only with a lot of determination and emotional cost because they're calling me even when I'm not eating them so long as they're in the house).

So on the one hand I agree with you as regards maintenance (but not loss - I personally believe the loss period needs to be a time of learning and starting with strict, only loosening up as you near goal and have learned what you can handle) that we should be able to eat a wide variety of foods.

On the other hand, I see that so many of us cannot truly do "anything in moderation" we can only do "many things in moderation". And that's where I have my concerns. If we say to new folks "anything in moderation" knowing that for a great many of them there are foods that they cannot moderate at least at this point in their lives, are we doing them a service? Or is it better to be honest and say, "Ya know, many of us have foods we can't moderate, that even having them in the house calls on all of our emotional resources and sets us up for failure."

Yes, I confess I was a little disingenuous in my posting's title.  The only reason I think my maintenance will look so much like my weight loss time is that I don't eat a lot of crap ever.  And I really, really believe there is no point in struggle to control the consumption of crap foods.  For what purpose?  Who needs it anyway?  So if you don't eat the crap, just eat the good foods in moderation.  I will continue to put it out there that NOT EATING THIS STUFF EVER is always an option, especially for us "moderation impaired."  There is nothing so compelling about Oreos or cheesecake that is worth my peace of mind.

Great post! I have been struggling with what is the "right" way to do this since I was cleared for all foods. I've been listening to the vets and have been really strict. Then I go see my NUT and she tells me that I'm overthinking and making it more difficult than it has to be.

Like you and Amy above, I can not have certain foods even in moderation and I'm ok with that. I need to remember that everyone is different and if it fits into my plan for the day and if I'm mentally ok with it, then I can eat it, dammit! I've been craving a banana with PB for three months (though it's pretzels w/ pb I REALLY want) but won't eat one because of the calories and carbs. But one of these days I will eat it and I'll be ok w/ that choice.

Changing my relationship with food has been really hard but I know (hope)that as time goes on, it will get easier.

What is funniest to me is that there don't seem to be any foods that none of us can moderate. Every one of us has a different list.

Example: during the loss period, I ate half a Quest bar a day as a fiber and protein supplement and treat all in one. Now in maintenance, I eat a whole one. I keep several boxes in my offfice for work days and at home for the weekends and I go get my one a day no problem. Others have said they can't keep Quest bars in the house.

On the other hand, crackers and bread...no can do for me. Bread I will allow myself if it's in a restaurant and something special, crackers not at all or I start craving. I bought a bar of dark chocolate with the idea I'd have 2 small square a day...Hah! Nope. No dark chocolate in the house.

So banana and PB may turn out to be just fine for you - it would be for me - but for others it might be a super red light food.

Just odd.

I am about 22 months out, closing in on two years out. I have been maintaining within a 2-3 lb window for about 14 months. My maintenance menu looks a lot like it did, during the losing phase, but I have added some berries, avocado, nuts, small amounts of oatmeal or sweet potato. I don't eat rice, bread, pasta, sweets, mostly by choice, and because they were never siren foods for me, except for sweets.

During my weight loss phase, I was moderate about carbs and averaged between 40-60, more towards 60 as I was nearing goal. Now, I average about 80-100, sometimes above 100, but the carbs are from veggies, low fat dairy, berries, sweet potato, or oatmeal.

I have foods that I choose to stay away from, because I cannot moderate them or have them around me. I find that having the attitude that it is a CHOICE, rather than I "can't" have them, makes it easier, because it puts me in control, and it doesn't become an issue of deprivation.

Recently, I have eliminated protein bars, because they were becoming an issue for me, and I had put on a couple of pounds. It is coming off, slowly, because slow and steady wins the race for me.

You're right about maintenance looking a lot like the losing phase, just a few more calories and some options. If one returns to former eating habits, the weight will come back on. It is all about a lifestyle change. I just don't bring some things into the house, because I know that I will graze on it, until it is gone. It just isn't worth it, to have the party in my mouth any longer. I enjoy my renewed health, well-being, strength, and healthier lifestyle.


Gail

I like this post a lot.  It is maybe mentally better to look at it as I choose to not eat this....not that I can't.  I'm going to have to switch around my thinking a bit. 

Great job on your continued success!!!

I think that for me, that's an important distinction because it keeps my inner Rebel in check.  But the end game is still the same.