Today, I will not feed the monkey...

Several years ago when I was struggling with food (again), an OA friend told me that in AA they say "This program works better if you stop drinking."

I needed surgery to help me stop eating (so much), but what he really meant was that I was going to continue to struggle with the food as long as I wasn't willing to stop engaging in addictive eating behaviors. 

He was the same guy that told me I could call him any time, day or night, if I wanted to eat and needed support.  But I had to call before I actually ate anything - no late-night confessionals after the drive-through.

I am thinking about all this because we will still have the desire to eat in our old ways - maybe forever - but we don't have to act on them!  Furthermore, now that we've added surgery to our toolbox, we're better equipped to fight all the physical reasons we're obese.

So often, I get that desire to eat and feel *instinctively* that I have to act on it.  But I don't!  I can sit with the desire, the craving, whatever, observe it from a distance, and tell myself it will pass.  For me, addictive cravings only pass if I don't act on them - one Quest bar makes me want four, for example.  No Quest bar makes me, well, uncomfortable for a little while.  But not crazed and unhappy with myself.

I am going to be going on a long drive today.  Driving long distances is not pleasant for me.  I have used food to distract me and I want badly to eat in the car.  I am trying not to.  So I am going to drink and drink, and only eat my breakfast on the way to the meeting.  On the way home - I'll go shopping if I feel sleepy, instead of stopping for unplanned food.  It's uncomfortable in the moment, but I know I will feel better tonight.

Hugs to all!

 

I like the AA saying :)
(I have recently started going to Al-Anon and love the different slogans.)
You have a great strategy in place today.  You are going to do FINE today, because of that.  Your posts help me.  I battle some of the same demons :)
Have a good day, and a safe drive!

Sounds like you've planned well Happy!  Being mindful of what our pitfalls are or what we're doing makes it easier to not give into that %#@! monkey!  Yesterday, on my way to Wally World, a thought about buying something "legal" and eating it on the way home, popped into my head.  I hadn't been paying attention and that monkey tried to get the best of me.  Luckily, after calling myself a few chioce names, in a loving way of course lol, I had the presence of mind to realize if I carried out this plan, I would be going to a place I can't afford to go to.  I bought a cup of decaf at D 'n D instead, and got what I needed at WW, then went home to a healthy supper.  

 You've got this!  

Thank you for this is a great post and fits me too. Knowledge is power, you will do great! Have a safe trip.

OMG!  Thank you so much!  I am three months out and I feel and look absolutely fabulous, but I am starting to eat junk again.  I was sitting here feeling guilty, and then I saw your blog.  I can do this  Thank you for pointing out to me (again) that it is always a struggle.  I'm putting on my shoes for my walk, and I thank you for the pep talk!

Your strength and resolve always inspire me, Happy.

My monkey is usually fairly manageable, but lately he's getting really pushy and I need to shut it down.  I need to follow your lead and stop listening and indulging that damn monkey and get these last pounds gone. 

 Way to go Happy.  

The best tool I have found is "Feel and Deal".  I had a very simialr thing going on the other night.  I was alone, which is usually when my Monkey starts jumping and screeching.  I kept walking to the fridge and the pantry just wanting to graze.  It took me a long time to get myself calmed down to the point that I could really figure out what was going on.

I use the why method when looking at my feelings.  I let my inner toddler keep questioning me "Why".  It usually goes like this:

Statement:  I want to Eat
Q:  Why?
A:  I'm Bored.
Q:  Why?

etc.

What I got to the other night was that I was frustrated.  I had to do some things for other people and my plans got totally disrupted.  I wasn't able to go for my usual evening walk/run.  It got late and the weather turned to crap.  Once I got to what was really bothering me, I could deal with it - without turning to food and a serotonin fix from eating to fix my emotions.  I redirected that by putting on my gear and hitting the elliptical.

I always get to do a lot of self reflection in cars, maybe that can help you out on your ride.  Anyway, I love your strength and compassion in your posts.  You know you have tons of people here on OH  you can call on anytime!

My first thought was "Why won't she feed my two year old" LOL Since that is what I call him, the little monkey (since he can go up flat surfaces, I swear his father is really Spider Man). 

Today I stand is solidarity with you, no monkey feeding in NJ today! You got this girlfriend, you have a plan in place and the self awareness to know that this is your DISORDER talking to you. 

Happy,
I just want to tell you that I admire your honesty with your struggles. We all have them to a certain point.
You can do this gurl, I have faith in you!