Not all Vets were created equal

rhearob, I definitely would not have said congrats on the bagel however like some I would have suggested healthy alternatives. However with that being said I did have a completely unplanned day of fast food when I was almost 2 months post-op.

I took my grand daughter to the zoo. We ate at McD's for breakfast. I had one of my favorite Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuits. I ate the bacon, egg and cheese along with a couple bites of the biscuit. No where near 1/2 of it. Then for lunch at the zoo we had Burger King. I have their chicken fries with ranch dressing. Then while walking around the zoo we had an ice cream. My total calorie count for that day was 1500 calories. I dont remember the carb count but it was HORRIBLE!!

I did not beat myself up over that fun day with my grand daughter and I did not post on OH about my "OMG" day. I took accountability for it and made better plans/choices for our future outings. In fact now she loves to help me pack our lunches for our outings.

It is all a learning curve and I honestly do not believe someone is going to fail at WL because of a once in a while choice. As long as this is not a daily/weekly choice. They do need to take accountability for it and learn to deal with the emotional eating issues, which we all have.

 Agreed completely.  We have to understand that if we make bad choices we are not bad people.  We cannot fall victim to the all or one syndrome.

What scares me and some others with the tend we see recently on OH - is the lack of accountability you describe.  People want to use soft terms like "its OK in moderation" or "I'll Be OK if I only do this once in a while" or "I ate this and I still lost".  Rathe than admitting as you did "OMG, that tasted so good but it was so bad for my diet".

Just like in our lives before WLS thats a pattern that often leads to the exception becoming the norm.

Every successful person I talked to before surgery and after has said that first six months was their incubation for new habits and new behavoirs.  I want everyone on here be as successful or more successful than I have been.  Thats why I share freely of my journey and my struggles.  

"What scares me and some others with the tend we see recently on OH - is the lack of accountability you describe. People want to use soft terms like "its OK in moderation" or "I'll Be OK if I only do this once in a while" or "I ate this and I still lost". Rathe than admitting as you did "OMG, that tasted so good but it was so bad for my diet".

Actually, that's not a recent trend.  It's been going on since I've been here, and probably long before that.

Also, moderation is okay.  That's the whole point of THIS thread.  If you want to keep harping about the damn bagel, post on the bagel thread.

I do things "once in a while," and have lost 108 pounds and am 4 pounds away from being normal weight.  I can probably out deadlift or squat any of the 800 calorie low carbers any day.  I would say that it worked for me.

As far as "it was so bad for my diet," -- I don't diet.  I have drastically changed my lifestyle and my relationship with food and activity.  I have worked with a counselor who specializes in disordered eating for the past 4 years.  She was an anorexic herself in college.  She agrees with me that drastic calorie regulation without making adjustments for your body's varied energy needs is an eating disorder.  She has always encouraged "moderation", and encourages "once in a while" eating as very healthy ways to approach food consumption.

I appreciate the fact that you share your journey and struggles, but your journey and struggles don't always apply to everyone. 

Oh I love your post! But I usually love your posts!

 First, I am not actually harping on the "damn bagel".  I am using that as an example of a recent even that everyone is familar with.  Its an illustrative reference, not the point of what I was saying.  My point was that the food is not the focus, the behavior is.

I never said moderation was not OK.  I have said in other threads that I believe it is not a good idea during weight loss.  What I did say, above,  is  that engaging in eating beaviors without examining whats causing them is a problem, again using the bagel threads as an example.  That to me is a classic example of eating without being willing to do the hard work on your own head.

As far as the word diet, one definition of diet is what you eat.  That is the sense in which I used that word.  I apologize if it was confusing to you.  You and I are in complete, if violent,  agreement that what we do with WLS is changing our lifestyles.

As far as me posting and it not applying to everyone, everyone on these forums may not agree with each other.  The discourse is valuable.  There is not a single way to success.  Its not us vs. them, its us vs. the disease.  Isn't it appropriate that all sides of the argument be presented?  If my advice doesn't work for you, or my story doesn't apply - you are free to not read it.  But if it helps one person, and I think it has, then I've achieved my goal.

EXACTLY I culdnt of said it better. NOW ill be called a TROLL again for replying to someones post....That's another thing people don't agree with what you agree with there's no need to be mean and call eachother names. Thanks for your reply and speaking out.

 See, I read these posts and then walk away on purpose b/c I know someone will type what I was thinking. It's not about WHAT they ate, it's about the "attitude" toward what they ate that makes me post in a knee jerk kind of way. If you scroll though my past posts I had a whole revelation about my food addiction, it was all over a garlic knot and the fact that I *deserved* a piece of pizza, it was in that moment I saw who and what I was clearly, and it changed my whole journey. So when I post things, it comes for that deep well of "been there, done that" emotion, and almost a zealots want to save people from having to fall the way I did in order to learn a lesson. 

I swear, I post from a place of caring and concern, I just don't always convey it well. 

 I think there are a lot of us with this attitude, we just don't post as much about it.  To each his own!

Well, I think what you're describing shows in these posts. 

Let's take the two flavors here -

"I ate something I wasn't supposed to and want to get back on track" posts are typically met with support - whatever that person defines "back on track as".  Not one of us has been free from doing this, right?  So we all can emphasize.

The flipside is "I ate something I wasn't supposed to - I'm going to justify it, glorify it, and perhaps even brag about it."  Well, that of course is going to elict some different responses.  

Some people don't "get" the difference between these two situations for the readership.  For certain people, the first post is one of support and empathy - all of us, all of us have been there.  But the second post can be quite scary to some - declaring that emotional eating is ok because it's done in moderation (like there's an alternative after surgery) - this frightens some people because it is this that they have so recently escaped from - being a slave to emotional eating, the rationalizations you tell yourself as your portion sizes slowly increase, the self-defensive posture you accept as you find guidance where you wanted commiseration (misery loves company).   We know that the average sleever will lose 70% of their excess weight, and we see postings from people who are pained - really anguished - to be 'stuck' at the 40% or 50% point, hurt and cheated. 

I think the real problem is these second class of postings really evoke different emotions and memories in our diverse readership.  I feel that if we were speaking together in one room, there would not be as much disagreement. 

Of course we all come from a place of caring and concern, and not endorsing a certain behavior shouldn't be evidence against that.  You can tell when people stop caring - they stop posting. 

As far as conveying that well - well, when you learn how, perhaps you could then teach it to me.

Well said, Ruggie. I think in person we'd have a little more 'grace' for lack of a better word, for the individual journey, but here, we can only speak to our own experiences.