Finding the discipline

 This answer is different for each of us, as is the reason for having the surgery.  I think the answer is the same.  Why are you having the surgery, what brought you to that decision?  Those are the same reasons you should keep bringing up to yourself to hel you through the hard times after surgery.  

For me, I wanted to make sure that I was around to be a part of my loved ones lives.  My weight was killing me.  I was aging at a reate probably 20 years ahead of where I am chronologically.  That love is where I found my strength.  I had a lot of fears, a lot of tears, and every other emotion you can imagine.  I kept my mind on that goal, and still do every day.

One thing to do is to erase the word failure from your vocabulary.  From now on, if you slip-up and cheat on your diet or skip an exercise session, you are not a failure or doomed to fail, you are not bad.  You just have to learn to pick yourself up forget about the past and work to make today and tomorrow better.  Not perfect, but better.  

Use your support groups.  When you reach a goal, celebrate it.  There a milliopn cheerleaders for you on here waiting to root you on when you succeed and to help pick you up when you stumble.  For me, I love going to my support group meetings.  Its a great time being with people who are going through what I am and others who have been successful.  They are truly a blessing.

The hardest work we have to do is not diet and exercise.  That's easy/  The hard part is examining ourselves, our motives, and why we feel and act the way we do.  We also have to learn to deal with the self-image problems we have from being overweight and all of the social stigma attached to it.  Working on all of that is the real work in learning to manage our obesity.

Nte that I said managing our obesity - it may be a minority opinion but by getting skinny, we dont beat obesity or cure it.  We learn to manage it.  IF I reach goal and wear a size 32 pant, I will be a fat man in a size 32 pant.  I will always have to be mindful of what I eat.  I will always have to continue the good habits I have begun now.  I will always be watching and controlling my weight.  The sleeve is a tool to help me reach a healthy weight.  The lifestyle changes and the psychological changes I make are how I insure continued success.

For me, major surgery removing a large portion of my stomach was a huge motivation. To have to go that far made failure not a option for me.

Other things came along that helped me stay motivated. My husband suggested that I put aside $5K from a small inheritence I will receive from my grandmother's death to buy clothes when I reach goal. I LOVE that man.

As I lost the weight I felt like doing more. Last night for instance, I joined in the weekend "epic nerf gun battle" with my awesomsauce hubby and our kids. We had a blast and I sweated - a lot. I couldn't have done it last year without feeling like crap for days after.

I'm 41 and exercise is important for people my age (for everyone really) to help maintain strong bones and fight off diseases. I try to do things that I can do long term. I'm not a health club person, but I love to walk and bike ride. I take a karate class that mixes karate, taekwondo, and krav twice a week. It kicks my butt. I'm glad I do it because it also pushes the limits of what I *think* I can do.

I find motivation in lots of places. My kids. My husband. I find it in family members that are struggling through their gazillionth diet and exercise program, or my brother who is just going through the motions because he's injured, overweight and the breadwinner in his family.

The motivation is there - you just have to decide what to do with it.

Here is the thing, at first it really DID take discipline, I constantly had to talk myself up and struggled with making myself stay in the game. Then the weight really started to come off, I started to like the way I looked and felt better then I had in years, and then the struggles seemed to take a  back seat to the determination to get to goal. The better I did, the better I felt, the less I struggled. 

I can't say that it's NEVER a struggle, that I never have to talk myself out of doing something stupid or that I don't have to use will power and discipline pretty much every day, but I can say that it's easier now that I am happy with the person in the mirror. 

I'm no expert, and I've made mistakes. One of the things that has helped me is to think about what I *need* to do instead of what I *can't* do. When I plan a meal, I focus on protein and produce. Once I've done that, there's no need to think about limiting carbs b/c I've built my meal around protein and produce.

I'm still not exercising the way I should be, though, so I'll read through the replies and focus on that. I really just need to move away from the TV and my beloved iPhone.

I think that the more you see success, the more you want to help that along. It can be discouraging to constantly fight and get nowhere. The VSG will start the ball rolling in the right direction. The more you see things happening, the more you want to do what it takes to help that along.

As you feel better and get more energy, you'll just want more and more of that. Personally I worked hard to develop habits that were good but just couldn't do the portion thing. The more things started happening, the more I wanted them to continue.

I have to say that this is probably the best post I have read today.  I am on here most every day and find something motivational.  This is by far the greatest yet.  I loved reading all of your stories.

Ashley, you are truly an inspiration.  Keep up the good work and don't let anyone hold you back!!!!

I have to admit that I don't know anything about post-op motivation yet.  I will say, though, I have though a million times if I'm not going to motivate myself and I'm not willing to do what it takes after surgery then why have the surgery. 

My health is the most important thing.  I want to be around for my nephew to see him grow up, get married, and have children of his own.  I want to be around for the rest of my family.  Most importantly I want to be healthy.  I also have to admit that shopping in "regular" stores is a motivation too.  :)

I don't know that you *find* the discipline so much as you encourage the small amount you have and build on it till it becomes habit.. small steps the whole way, for the rest of your life.. Looking at it as going from A to Z is a bit overwhelming.. but understanding you have to go past B, C.. to get to Z.. makes it a lot more do-able.

For me, with the insane laser focus that came with being young and single.. I lost a LOT of weight, but it was hard to maintain with the constant head & physical hunger screaming at me all the time. This time, it was easier to form or re-form the habits, as early out, during the stages when "normal" dieting is hardest.. that beginning stage, it was easier.. the surgery did it's part. I had restriction, I had satisfaction on 600-800 cals a day.. (my prior weight loss was at 800 cals a day, with an intact stomach, not very satisfying!)

That satisfaction quieted the part of my brain that would always rail against the lower intake and allowed me time to work on the really important head stuff.. the Why's and What's I thought about food/eating/me/my relationship to people around me.. Without that quiet-time, the head work is harder- not impossible, but definitely harder when you can't take a clear look back because your body and hunger are calling for too much of your attention all the time. The head work is a big part of this.. the other stuff- the more mundane, tracking, conscious activity/exercise/meal planning.. that is big too and needs to be done.. but those first few months, they were the easiest to really look at me and my behaviors with an honest eye and pick it apart so I could understand my weak points better. Take advantage of that time.. it's the best window you have! 

On a final note, about finding discipline.. One point to understand, what you change, you need to be able to sustain for the rest of your life.. this is not something that has an end. So, when I say re-form habits, I really mean life-long behavior patterns. We are pattern-seeking animals, we like routine and we seek it.. find what works for you and gets you healthy, and make it something that you can live with.. you hopefully have a long and happy life ahead!

I'd also like to add, set goals and rewards for yourself. For instance recently I hit a milestone of 199; in wonderland. Not only was it a huge motivator the closer I got, that I wanted to keep going, but I gave myself a reward - botox since I needed it.

Right before I hit wonderland I was tempted by this AMAZING dessert; creme brulee cheesecake.. OMG! I just kept thinking about being in wonderland and how good that would feel, that it was so much better than a few mins of a dessert, and to stop pretending that I could only have a little bit.

I had to get out of denial and admit and be at peace with the fact that I am a food addict and nothing will change that. Abstinence from binge foods is the only way for me.

I also just hit another milestone.. exactly half of my body weight lost! I'm literally half the woman I used to be! So my reward for that is a massage for myself.

My next milestone will be hitting 200 pounds lost and I'm going to LA to party! Fortunately I've had a lot of milestones clustered together, spurring me to continue at a time that is actually harder since I'm closer to goal. Hope that helps and hugs!

Thank all of you so much for the words of wisdom and inspiration!! I started working out today; 30 min. on treadmill at 2.5 mph...21 days to form a habit ...aaahhhh a good habit at last.
Thank all of you again.