Transfer Addictions and WLS
I'm really looking for any kind of feedback from newbies, tweeners, vets, or anyone with any experience in this matter.
I have someone close to me who had had WLS (not the sleeve) a few years ago, and has done a fantastic job losing over 150 lbs with still 25 lbs until her doctor's goal for her. She's quite happy with where she is now, though, and her life has changed for the better - as she says, she'd be dead today without the surgery. She's weaned off of most medications but still has pill needs due to having had a thyroidectomy and Type 2 Diabetes. Blood pressure is now well-managed, as is cholesterol, without meds. She can admit now that she had a pretty good food addiction - she was a grazer... during one of our dieting attempts back in the day, I tracked her at eating 1800 calories of junk while watching TV one night.
So all's good, right? Not really. I've heard of transfer addictions but hadn't really seen them firsthand until a few months ago. Once she started losing weight, this person started going out more with her husband. Living in a not-too-thrilling area, her place of choice to visit was the local casino. At first it'd be once a week after dinner. Then, twice a week. It's at the point now where it's 3-4 times a week for what we call a "shift" - like, if the time she spent there was a job, they'd be paying her time-and-a-half for this shift. There's also a very mild alcohol addiction - I call it mild only because I'm not talking a regular basis thing. Socially, though... at a party before Christmas, I watched her down 2 bottles of wine over the course of a party...and then insist she was driving to the casino at one point. I hid her keys, and she kept telling me, "I'm...not.....drshurnnk." If I bring up the casino... "It relaxes me. I enjoy it, and I'm winning or breaking even." I don't know that I believe that.
I only have a couple of basic psychology courses under my belt, so I don't pretend to know exactly how to help...or what can be done. There had been an eBay/shopping addiction for awhile...but when the bills piled up, she quit those until she paid off her credit cards. The gambling one is what worries me the most. What scares me, though, is that now that she's 2+ years past her WLS and out of the malabsorption of calories phase... I'm scared since she's not choosing foods wisely, the weight will start creeping back up and the depression and health issues will come back.
I'd appreciate any feedback or ideas on how to broach this. Short of an intervention, we're at a loss. Thanks
I have someone close to me who had had WLS (not the sleeve) a few years ago, and has done a fantastic job losing over 150 lbs with still 25 lbs until her doctor's goal for her. She's quite happy with where she is now, though, and her life has changed for the better - as she says, she'd be dead today without the surgery. She's weaned off of most medications but still has pill needs due to having had a thyroidectomy and Type 2 Diabetes. Blood pressure is now well-managed, as is cholesterol, without meds. She can admit now that she had a pretty good food addiction - she was a grazer... during one of our dieting attempts back in the day, I tracked her at eating 1800 calories of junk while watching TV one night.
So all's good, right? Not really. I've heard of transfer addictions but hadn't really seen them firsthand until a few months ago. Once she started losing weight, this person started going out more with her husband. Living in a not-too-thrilling area, her place of choice to visit was the local casino. At first it'd be once a week after dinner. Then, twice a week. It's at the point now where it's 3-4 times a week for what we call a "shift" - like, if the time she spent there was a job, they'd be paying her time-and-a-half for this shift. There's also a very mild alcohol addiction - I call it mild only because I'm not talking a regular basis thing. Socially, though... at a party before Christmas, I watched her down 2 bottles of wine over the course of a party...and then insist she was driving to the casino at one point. I hid her keys, and she kept telling me, "I'm...not.....drshurnnk." If I bring up the casino... "It relaxes me. I enjoy it, and I'm winning or breaking even." I don't know that I believe that.
I only have a couple of basic psychology courses under my belt, so I don't pretend to know exactly how to help...or what can be done. There had been an eBay/shopping addiction for awhile...but when the bills piled up, she quit those until she paid off her credit cards. The gambling one is what worries me the most. What scares me, though, is that now that she's 2+ years past her WLS and out of the malabsorption of calories phase... I'm scared since she's not choosing foods wisely, the weight will start creeping back up and the depression and health issues will come back.
I'd appreciate any feedback or ideas on how to broach this. Short of an intervention, we're at a loss. Thanks
Gosh, that's tough. I'm sorry someone you love so much is going through this, and thus you are going through the pain of watching her do this to herself. Unfortunately, I'm not sure there is anything, other than an intervenion, that you CAN do.
My sister has a heroin problem. Unfortunately, I have learned the hard way that no amount of me trying to talk to her about this will change her ways. My parents lost their home trying to "save" her. They also lost many of their prized possessions, and they all almost lost their relationship with me on more than one occasion (long story). She was in and out of jail for years, and finally she was put on first-offender probation for a drug charge, and she ended up on methadone as a way of keeping her from craving the heroin.
Since then, she has picked up smoking cigarettes as well... sure, a far cry from heroin, but an addictive habit nonetheless.
My biggest piece of advice is to be there as much as you can without pulling yourself down with her. I have come to realize over the years that, if I allow myself to drown in my sister's problems, I won't be able to be strong for her when she finally does decide she wants my help. Therefore, I am helping no one by allowing her to consume me.
That doesn't mean I don't love her, or my parents. But I know how addicting making an effort to save someone else can be, so please be careful.
*hugs*
My sister has a heroin problem. Unfortunately, I have learned the hard way that no amount of me trying to talk to her about this will change her ways. My parents lost their home trying to "save" her. They also lost many of their prized possessions, and they all almost lost their relationship with me on more than one occasion (long story). She was in and out of jail for years, and finally she was put on first-offender probation for a drug charge, and she ended up on methadone as a way of keeping her from craving the heroin.
Since then, she has picked up smoking cigarettes as well... sure, a far cry from heroin, but an addictive habit nonetheless.
My biggest piece of advice is to be there as much as you can without pulling yourself down with her. I have come to realize over the years that, if I allow myself to drown in my sister's problems, I won't be able to be strong for her when she finally does decide she wants my help. Therefore, I am helping no one by allowing her to consume me.
That doesn't mean I don't love her, or my parents. But I know how addicting making an effort to save someone else can be, so please be careful.
*hugs*
Highest weight: 277 Starting Weight: 250 Surgery Weight: 241 Current Weight: 130
Goal Reached in 10.5 months :)
Alcohol addiction doesn't have to be a 'constant' thing to be an addiction. Binge drinking is a form of addiction.
I'm one of those people who can go months without taking a drink or needing to drink alcohol at all. But if I'm out with friends and have one glass of wine, I'm likely to have a second and then, suddenly, I'm so far into the bottle that I haven't a clue how many glasses I've had. This sort of addiction is just as troublesome as the 'fulltime' alcoholic; my version is under the radar, so no one calls me on it.
Your friend is doing the same thing.
I stopped when I had a night that is a complete blank in my memory. My roommate-at-the-time got me home, though I don't know how, since I outweigh her by a good hundred pounds. Then next morning, I was missing underwear and sicker than a dog. My roommate didn't hesitate to confront me - though she did use the softer "I'm really concerned about what happened last night" style of confrontation.
Since then, I've been very careful to have one glass and that's it.
Good luck to you in helping your friend.
-Reva
I'm one of those people who can go months without taking a drink or needing to drink alcohol at all. But if I'm out with friends and have one glass of wine, I'm likely to have a second and then, suddenly, I'm so far into the bottle that I haven't a clue how many glasses I've had. This sort of addiction is just as troublesome as the 'fulltime' alcoholic; my version is under the radar, so no one calls me on it.
Your friend is doing the same thing.
I stopped when I had a night that is a complete blank in my memory. My roommate-at-the-time got me home, though I don't know how, since I outweigh her by a good hundred pounds. Then next morning, I was missing underwear and sicker than a dog. My roommate didn't hesitate to confront me - though she did use the softer "I'm really concerned about what happened last night" style of confrontation.
Since then, I've been very careful to have one glass and that's it.
Good luck to you in helping your friend.
-Reva
Hi, I am dealing with the same issue. Instead of coming home after work and eating in front of the TV, I go to the casino and take prescription pills. This has been going on since before I had surgery..but I had cut down on going to the casino. Instead I started gaining weight from eating every night. So now at 3 months out I am going to the casino 4 times a week. I am in the hole $2500 since the beginning of the year. Yes...I am putting this on a public forum.
I am at the point that I know i have a problem, I know I have transfered a food addiction to something else,,,but I have no idea how to overcome it. Today I asked my sister to intervene,,,help keep me on a budget as well as occupy my time.
Unfortunatley there is not a lot you can do. If you push to hard she will shut you out. If you don't push at all then you will have to decide if you want to be there to pick up the pieces. I would certainly tell her you are concerned and offer whatever support she needs. Don't lend her money,don't pay any of her bills. She has to feel the consequences. But be prepared for her reaction, it probably will not be the one you want.
Best of luck
I am at the point that I know i have a problem, I know I have transfered a food addiction to something else,,,but I have no idea how to overcome it. Today I asked my sister to intervene,,,help keep me on a budget as well as occupy my time.
Unfortunatley there is not a lot you can do. If you push to hard she will shut you out. If you don't push at all then you will have to decide if you want to be there to pick up the pieces. I would certainly tell her you are concerned and offer whatever support she needs. Don't lend her money,don't pay any of her bills. She has to feel the consequences. But be prepared for her reaction, it probably will not be the one you want.
Best of luck
Marlene
One of the things my RNY friends told me was to be careful about and be watchful for other/new addictions to raise their ugly heads. I mean, addiction is addiction, no mater what your poison. Liquor, gambling, drugs, sex, shopping...since food no longer satisfies, we go to something else. I think this is where the psychological part of our treatment comes in.
With VSG, I anticipate the addictions to still be as fierce and hard to manage. Support groups and one-on-ones and psych visitis will be a must for quite a while I am guessing. I am just recently sleeved, so my thoughts here are just speculations.
Thankfully, my company insurance covers mental health as well, so I remain 'at-the-ready' to call them.
Best wishes to any and all as we continue in our battles.
This is something I was warned about also before WLS and I worry about it. I not only gave up
food, but also alcohol & smoking. I go back to work next week and I have a pretty stressfull job, I
hope I can replace exercising as my new addiction and nothing bad for me. Luckily, I also have
mental health insurance if I feel the need to use it. Hopefully since I'm so worried about it that will
help me keep those demons in line!
food, but also alcohol & smoking. I go back to work next week and I have a pretty stressfull job, I
hope I can replace exercising as my new addiction and nothing bad for me. Luckily, I also have
mental health insurance if I feel the need to use it. Hopefully since I'm so worried about it that will
help me keep those demons in line!
I posted on the vet board as this is something I've gone through myself...transfer of addiction. My current is a spending problem. I realized I was just cycling and recycling addictions. I am over 2 years out and going to start getting help with counseling... something I should have already done. Reading up and understanding addiction and how it works really helped me too. Educate yourself on what's happening. But this all really applies to "self". I'm not sure you can help someone other than gently bringing it up. Real change comes within and unless they recognize a problem there's not much you could do???. If anyone ever wants to talk about it, PM me anytime.
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