Limits to my positive attitude...
OK, overall I am very satisfied and pleased with my progress. I'm not losing quite as fast as the 50% at 3 months and 80% at 6 months (at least, my diet program thinks I will miss it by a few weeks). No matter, the losing weight is great and I'll probably be in onederland by next month.
The problem is more that I am having a crappy time at work, lots of stress and big conflicts (technical and financial) on a major project. I was lying awake last night in a worry hole about work, when I also brought the whole weight-loss thing into it. I was thinking about the movie "Awakenings" and how losing the weight was kind of like coming out of a coma. And how I didn't want to go back into a coma later on, how I wanted this to be the last time I weighed in the 200s, etc. I purged all my big clothes a while back, but now the intermediate things (my smaller clothes from the attic) are too big and I'm having fears about giving them away.
Then I started thinking about a line in the WLS paper VegasLAbound has posted on her site, how all surgeries were effective for losing weight. It was the maintaining that was hard. So I started thinking about how of course I would *lose* the weight, but would I maintain it?
I *know* nobody knows the answer to this question, that it's up to me, I know a 1000 ways to pump myself up, but sometimes it just seems overwhelming. I've lost before, maintained, got complacent and found myself near 300 pounds again. If I gained again, I would be out of options.
:) Happy
53 yrs old, 5'6" HW: 293 ConsW: 273 SW: 263 CW: 206 
I'm in a bad place right now myself, I blogged here about it actually. I'm just trying to ride it out. My counselor says it's just basically all part of the process of dealing with not only the lifestyle change, but the mental part of this whole process.
It sucks though. I'm kind of in an abyss of anger. Ugh.
Hang in there. We'll be okay.
It sucks though. I'm kind of in an abyss of anger. Ugh.
Hang in there. We'll be okay.
Candy from Austin, TX | Website | MyFitnessPal | My OH Blog
5'6" / HW 375 / SW 355 / CW 150 / Maintaining 155-159 - Goal Reached! 225 Pounds Lost
I am sorry you're in an anger hole. I was very, very angry the first time I lost weight. It took about 6 weeks to pass. Six weeks sounds like a long time, but it wasn't too bad and I felt tremendous relief after it passed. I think I had been carrying around that anger for a long time, and letting go of it was part of losing the weight. This time was much easier. I'm sure you'll be fine!
:) Happy
53 yrs old, 5'6" HW: 293 ConsW: 273 SW: 263 CW: 206
Yeah. I will climb out of it eventually. It's really bad timing though (I'm a bookkeeper so W2s and 1099s and year end and quarterly and monthly reports are all due). I swear, I'm losing it. LOL
Candy from Austin, TX | Website | MyFitnessPal | My OH Blog
5'6" / HW 375 / SW 355 / CW 150 / Maintaining 155-159 - Goal Reached! 225 Pounds Lost
I was thinking the same thing just now. I am more scared of the possibility of regain than of the surgery itself. I guess the fear and real possibility of regain has to be something that we think about all the time - at least regularly, until we know that we have transitioned and can trust ourselves with our choices. Before that time comes (and it may never come!) we have to be hypervigilant with ourselves.
5ft0; highest weight 222; surgery weight 208; current weight 120
Awww Happy, I feel your pain. Maintenance has been the scariest part of this journey so far for me. I was literally freaked out by the prospect, as this has been where I failed in the past. The answer for me is that this is a lifestyle change...let me say that again - lifestyle...meaning "for life" This cannot be a temporary thing as it has been in the past. Your tool is permanent and your new lifestyle must be permanent as well in order to maintain. Once the initial weight is off, you can up your calories some but must concentrate on the protein and all things you did to get it off. I am at the beginning of my maintenance journey, but I know that I will only get out of it what I put into it and must make these changes permanently. I believe that is the only way to keep the weight off permanently. Good luck to you and cheer up! I think this new lifestyle can be permanent without the feelings of deprivation - just make it your choice.
Deb
Deb
Goal Reached in 12.5 Months
HW: 274 Pre-OpW: 266 SW: 254 CW: 125 GW: 145
You must permanently change your lifestyle if you want your weight loss to be permanent. You can do it!
Thanks, Deb!! I had this surgery to have some "back up", to make it easier to eat on plan and get back on plan when I'm weak. I cannot do the "clean eating" thing perfectly and finding myself with 2 lb of food at the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet was a common outcome of drifting off plan before surgery.
I have good habits, but a big dose of black and white thinking that make it hard for me to stay on plan if everything isn't *perfect.* I have that "what the hell" feeling and fall into something I shouldn't. I really enjoy your posts!!
:) Happy
53 yrs old, 5'6" HW: 293 ConsW: 273 SW: 263 CW: 206
Oh, eek, I'm also struggling with that dark place of doubting myself and the future. I've given away all my 22, 20, 18, 16, 14 sizes, but am struggling to part with the 12s. I'm in a 10 now and I just fear gaining some weight back... not all, but some and I hate this feeling. I've pretty much decided to keep the 12's that I like and maybe even a few 14s, "just in case". Ugh.
Why do I doubt myself? I know, past performance, but this time is different. Right? RIGHT?
Why do I doubt myself? I know, past performance, but this time is different. Right? RIGHT?
5'5" Goal reached, but fighting regain. Back to Basics.
Start Weight 246 Goal Weight 160 Current Weight 183
Starting size: 22, 2x
Current size: 12, L
Yes, this time *is* different!! I feel pretty sure I won't weigh 273 or 293 again. But not sure about much else.
I'm a lot further from goal than you, so I really can see why you'd want to keep a few slightly larger things. I think I'll keep my one-size-larger things in the attic. I'll feel more confident when they're 2 or 3 sizes too big.
:) Happy
53 yrs old, 5'6" HW: 293 ConsW: 273 SW: 263 CW: 206
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