Wearing the smallest jeans in the attic!

As someone who has gained and lost a lot of weight over most of my adult life, AND who has a nice big attic with stairway access, I have saved a lot of clothes over the years.  I didn't save clothes from my smallest (late 20s), but otherwise I had everything from regular size 18 jeans from 1993 to 26/28 shirts from 2004.  Today I am wearing those size 18 jeans, Eddie Bauer, the 100% cotton kind before everything had spandex in it, and they feel GREAT.

I did find a jeans skirt, size 16, but it was too small when I bought it (waaay back when) and I've never actually worn it, so it doesn't count.

Today is my 4-month mark.  Like everyone, I wish I had lost more weight.  I know I make choices that slow the loss a little bit - but I am working very hard on doing the right thing every day, imperfectly.  I struggle so much with the "what the hell" attitude about food, and every less-than-perfect choice triggers that deeply grooved way of thinking.  "I'm a failure - might as well eat whatever, I've ruined the day already - who cares, I'm going to eat what I want."

This pattern has been my downfall after any period of extended abstinence from compulsive overeating.  When I make a less-than-perfect choice, my disease jumps up and tries to convince me I've blown it all and I might as well fall face down into the peanut butter fudge.

A very perceptive OH friend saw this pattern in me early on, and intervened.  She made me see how my lesson on *this* leg of my journey is learning how to make peace with imperfect abstinence, and not to let perfectionism to be an excuse for practicing my disease.

Woohoo! Congrats!

I just got a pair of Victoria's Secret size 14's in the mail today. Can't wait until I can wear them!

I can't even imagine 14's right now!  How exciting that will be for you!

 I am scheduled for surgery 1/24/12, and have been reading the posts, hoping to get myself into the right frame of mind.  

What you said confirms my fear that convincing ourselves to cheat becomes a habit, so deeply engrained in our thinking that just fixing the size of the stomach or removing the hormone that makes us hungry is far from enough.  

I have started an exercise program (trying not to ***** about that because I know my attitude will drive my success); I quit drinking alcohol (my daily 2 glasses of wine are finally not consuming my thoughts); but chocolate, chips, etc. are there like a warm blanket in winter.  

I am married to an active man that has zero body fat (seriously not one dimple on him) and you would think that would help me, but he is a huge snacker.   I know I need to work on myself to be okay with his indulgences without giving in myself.

It sounds like you are doing very well (congrats on fitting into your smallest jeans).  I hope my family and friends will support me and help  me to see weaknesses I may want to ignore.

I wish you lots of success.  I was going to write a longer reply about the concepts of "cheating" and "giving in" because I don't find them very useful.  But nothing was coming out right and I am sure you will find life with food much simpler after surgery.  Not perfect, but easier.  Keep posting, and good luck!!

That's awesome Happy! Pretty soon you will have to buy stuff. Could be worse, you could be buying cause you are bigger. You are doing terrific!

I am giving away the clothes that are too big - OMG I hope I don't have to buy bigger clothes again!!  Thanks!!

 Congrats! I also have multiple sizes in my closet, attic etc so I am looking forward to fitting into them soon. You have done awesome. 60 lbs in 4 months??? That is amazing!!!!!!!

The one thing I love about this surgery is that is forces you to stay on track. In the past if I would have stopped losing or only lost 1 lb/wk as I did for several weeks, I would have said "what the hell" an headed for the cookies and ice cream. But I cant, and since I have been forced to stay on track I am continuing to lose. It is hard to look long term and not feel like a failure when you eat something you shouldn't, but that is a dangerous road to go down. 

So happy for you!

I lost 10 pounds of that before surgery - so it's been more like 5 months.  Surgery makes it easier not to go for the cookies and ice cream, but it's still a choice we make ourselves.  I'm sure I could eat lots of both if I tried.