How do you deal with a ***** in your armor?

it helps to see that this really can be done, and it scares the crap out of me when I read posts of people actually eating whatever they want even though it is a small amount. It just helps me embed the thought into my head more and more everyday that yes this surgery was  a physical thing, but the results come from the after mental work and mental willingness to change.

 Thank you for this post, I very much appreciate it!

Thank you and Merry Christmas to you.

 I love all of your posts. Like others have said, you are a true inspiration. Keep them coming; I look forward to them! Merry Christmas!

I am glad my post holds meaning for you.  It is wonderful to be able to share this journey with great people.  Merry Christmas to you and ours.

I have been trying to learn what my weak areas are. Like you, I will probably be learning from my mistakes for some time.

I didn't bake this Christmas. Maybe someday, but not this year. Perhaps my strategy down the road will be to est a dense protein meal, then bake. If that doesn't work, my strategy may be not to bake. For some folks this mightnot seem like an option.

I'm sure there will be some permanent "no" foods and activities in my life. I'm OK with that, as I never expected I would be able to control.myself in all the areas I never could before just because I had surgery.

This post raises good questions and answers. But its not such a big oops to eat one smallish piece of holiday cake. That might sound like a rationalization and maybe it is, but I would consider it more of an oops if you had a second piece or a piece every day for several days or such. We all live in the real world where rich foods are everywhere (except hopefully our own kitchens) and you are right we have to have a plan on how to deal with it. Yours sounds like a good one. We all need to recognize we will have these issues and maybe not respond to them in ways we are proud of, but no error is irreparable especially if addressed promptly.

Anyway, good thoughts as always Elina. Reminds us all that we chose this surgery to do something about our life threatening weight and we must continue to make consistent choices.

I used to be a major baker and christmas cookies of all sorts were my specialty. I have just put that part of life behind me. Fortunately making artwork satisfies a similar need to create. Plus I make my holiday cinnamon almonds to keep me away from other holiday sweets (see recipe on my blog page)

Diane

I am almost 24 hrs away from our Christmas Eve dinner.  We have one family meal Christmas Eve and one family meal Christmas morning. 

Did I have more than normal?  Yes.  More tastes of rich dishes than I should have had and some sugar-free candy in my stocking.  Tonight, I am going to have a little bit of beef and drink a lot of water.  We are leaving all the left-overs with my family and I'm going back to my wonderfully boring food tomorrow.

I have made it through, no Parker House rolls, homemade cheese danish or Bûche de Noël, and today I will just be grateful for that.  I almost gave in to the danish, and I am usually not phased by sugar.  I had to go to another room.

You are so right, sometimes the important lesson is letting go of the all or nothing thinking, those "what the hell" moments of "I might as well eat everything."  I am trying to get it all logged in right now.  I'm trying to accept that sometimes this is all I can do sometimes, and be okay with that.  The real measure of success will be staying on plan tomorrow.

This was a great post and there were some really thoughtful and insightful responses.

Recognizing our weak spot is something very difficult but essential in long term success, I think.

For me, I sometimes think that I have a million weak spots and can feel overwhelmed if I made poor food choices, kind of in that "all or nothing" mindset. But then I take a step back and a very deep breath and realize that I'm not perfect, that I made a mistake, and that now I must work to fix the mistake. I make a plan for now as well as the future and try as had as I can to stick to it, and then tell people about it while still keeping in mind that I'm not a bad person, just a real person. This is exactly what you were writing about.

Thank you for sharing your post-- the message is an important one.

You know I have been thinking about this for a long time, I think many of us that have weight issues suffer from an all or nothing mentality.  The problem with this, is that we can never be perfect in the long run.  We are only human, and we will slide, we will fail.  This does not mean we are failures, just imperfect human beings.  The difference between true failure and success lies in the self talk we have with ourselves when we miss the mark.  For example, do we believe deep down that we are failures and this episode just reveals the "truth" about who we are deep down, or do we think that we are basically healthy and strong and this was a momentary lapse in our planning or some other external reason.  We have a belief about who we are, our "ultimate truth" about ourselves and this "truth" guides our perceptions of our failures.  If we feel we are "damaged and incapable" we feel guilt, shame and depression.  We give up or we binge to relieve the pain.  We self medicate to feel better, usually in unhealthy ways using food.  If we believe that this was "poor planning, or poor strategy or something fixable" on our part, we concentrate on figuring out what went wrong, fixing the problem, and moving on.  We don't feel shame or guilt, we even want to share it with others because we can be helpful to them and be accountable to ourselves at the same time.  So in the end, it all comes down to "why" we think be had the lapse and what our "truth" is about who we think we are when we are alone looking in the mirror.  I know this is a complex idea, and I hope I was able to communicate what I mean because I think it is one of the bedrock principles of permanent weight management.  It is the fountainhead of all "head issues".