Sometimes..I feel like a PHONY...

phred
on 10/22/11 7:38 am, edited 10/22/11 7:38 am - CO

In the evening, after dark,

We goose the statues, in the park,

If Sherman's horse can take it, why can't you?

If it feels good, do it! And if it smells good, eat it!

slimpickins5280
on 10/22/11 8:05 am - CO

I think they are the phonies.

You are you.

I'm a few decades older than you and I can honestly say their attraction to your physical changes makes THEM the fakes and NOT you.

People think they need to know the our business, but they don't.

It's too bad for them really. They could have known you a few years ago if they weren't so caught up in their own superficial angst. Too bad for them because you are obviously an awesome person (just by reading your posts) at any weight.

VSG 10/18/11 If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.-Dolly Parton

AnastasiaBeaverhausn
on 10/22/11 8:29 am

VSG on 08/12/11

People color their hair and have false nails and eyelashes. We all do things to make a part we perceive better looking. In our cases, our bodies are the parts we are making better. You worked to make yourself healthy and there is nothing phony about that.

HW - 275 SW- 226 GW-150

Krazydoglady
on 10/22/11 9:33 am - FL

VSG on 01/28/11

I said this to someone privately on OH not long ago, but I think it bears repeating. Doubt, even self-doubt, is an important feedback mechanism. It's what keeps us from jumping off a cliff literally and figuratively. It becomes unhealthy when we obsess about it. Every human on the planet has moments of self-doubt -- perhaps not about the same things, but they do. There are days when I look up and 'feel' like a total FRAUD at work, for example, when I know intellectually that I am anything but. .

Here's the most important thing I've ever learned, seriously:

Feelings are NOT facts!

Just because you 'feel' a certain way doesn't make it so. When doubt starts creeping in, I shut it down by thinking and compartmentalizing the 'feelings' rather than indulging in an internal drama.

This may come across harsher than it's meant with facial expressions, tone and inflection... Keep that in mind.... I mean it in the nicest possible way...You are beautiful and vivavcious. You think stretch marks change that? that's bull**** no one cares. You were MO? So what? There are way worse things. I bet most of the people you're worried about have bigger, uglier secrets than you which are probably eating them alive. There are no perfect people nor perfect families. Cut yourself some slack and quit defining yourself by fat or lack thereof. That's not what makes, "you" YOU!

Carolyn (32 lbs lost Pre-op) HW: 291, SW: 259, GW: 129.5, CW: 126.4

Age: 45, Height: 5'2 1/4" , Stretch Goal: 122

(deactivated member)
on 10/22/11 10:20 am

I know what you mean. But for me, I am not used to the attention. For a year I didn't even notice. Then I started noticing and then it was "why are you looking at me?" Then for the last six moths or so I am just starting to figure it out. And then, it's "Ohhhh..... " Still awkward though. Good thing I am married. I wouldn't even know what to do! lol

Best,

svelteNgorgeous
on 10/22/11 10:42 am, edited 10/22/11 10:42 am

VSG on 05/17/11

You're no phoney, you're the real deal. You've dealt with an issue in your life that was holding you back from from being all you were called to be. You've overcome it and changed your life. Congratulations!!! You are to be commended for your decision and for taking action. Please don't allow self doubt to become a limiting factor in your life. A powerful woman of action like you can change the world.

Much Continued Success!!!

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

abrown8434
on 10/22/11 11:38 am - VA

VSG on 09/20/11

Sass-ems,

Thank you for posting that. I have heard a lot of WLS's say the same thing. I don't think you are abnormal; I think you are just too hard on yourself.

I am still somewhat of a newbie and have a long way to go, but I feel that way w/certain family members and friends I haven't told I had surgery yet. They are so happy for you and your willpower but they don't know you have a tool assisting you.

I said all that to say that throughout these different phases, for one reason or another, people will be attracted to you and praise you for a job well done (whether it is a loss or how hotyou look). Those people don't always know you had WLS but you have no reason to feel like a phoney!

It WAS NOT a phoney that made this decision; that took the risks; that suffered the pain, inconvenience and side effects from surgery; that chose to make healthy food choices, exercise and stay committed; nor was it a phoney that decided to take control of her life and win the battle of obesity--all of that was simply YOU.

You know why you should walk out with your head helld high, thin and vivacious? Because YOU EARNED IT! The cellulite, extra skin and even scars are just reminders of the battle you won and the fact that you are human and like any other woman has her insecurities due to falling short of perfection.

With time your bran will catch up with the changes; with time. Until then make it a habit every day to accept the wonderful person you have worked so hard to become and the right you have earned to look the way you do today. Plastics can make some improvements but it is up to you to work just as hard to accept your new life.

Best of luck to you,

--Alesha

HW: 550+ SW: 502 CW: 342.4 SDt: 9/20/11

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."--Philippians 4:13, KJV

breakfast_at_tiffanys
on 10/22/11 1:35 pm - Ann Arbor, MI

VSG on 02/28/11

This is such a struggle for me, too. People say nice things about my weight loss, but a little voice in my head is whispering, "Please, if you only knew what I looked like without the spanx and the push up bra!" A relationship I was in ended shortly after my surgery, and I've been dating again. I guess I was lucky because even when I was my heaviest I dated. Now that I'm dating 86 lbs lighter, I find myself feeling very uncomfortable. Recently I was dating a surgeon (who didn't know about my surgery) and he made a critical comment about the look of the scar women have after a tummy tuck... needless to say I didn't go out with him again after that. Now I don't even want to go on a date with anyone! I think after plastics maybe I'll feel more comfortable... but I worry that then I'll be super self-conscious about scars. It's a catch-22. Maybe all of this seems vain to some people, but I'm single; I don't have a husband who already loves me, wrinkly bits and all, lol. Maybe I can find a way to date while never having to take off my spanx??

RPrice85
on 10/22/11 1:46 pm - MI

VSG on 11/30/11

Just remember you are beautiful the way you are no matter what. You are not a phonie...the people who are talking to you aren't perfect either! You can't see under their clothes either, so you never know if maybe one of them had WLS or if they have scars, or stretch marks (yes even skinny people have stretch marks) So no one is perfect...you are being harder on yourself then need be! Enjoy your new found freedom and don't sweat the small stuff!!

DrHollywood
on 10/22/11 2:22 pm, edited 10/22/11 2:22 pm - Harbor City, CA

VSG on 02/01/11

I can relate so much especially when you said, " underneath I have this giant secret that
I was morbidly obese." WOW that is how I feel. Also you said, " underneath my clothes theres stretched skin, strech marks, cellulite." I totally have stretched skin and cellulite. I can so
relate and truly am embarrassed about this.

I think it will catch up and will just take time.

Today i bought a lot of clothes and yes I got carried away. I cannot believe how I loved loved loved going shopping for me today. I use to hate it being so HUGE. Today I was loving life.
Yes I over did it, but I am worth it. I just cannot do it all the time..lol

Thanks for posting, this topic really hit home for me....

                      ✿ L♦O♦V♦E ✿ & ✿ P♦E♦A♦C♦E ✿ღ ✿ & F♦R♦I♦E♦N♦D♦S ✿ ღ
                         "Keeping The Faith!"   "Slim by Summer!"
                                    HW: 250 - SW: 241 - CW: 154.7- GW: 140


1 month: 22 pounds (216) 2 months: 12.2 pounds (203.8) 3 months: 10.6  (193.2)
4 months: 9.7 lbs (183.5) 5 Months: 6 pounds (177.5 ) 6 Months: 12 lbs ( 165.5)
7 Months 7.1 lbs (158.4) 8 Months +1.6 pounds(159.8) 9 Months 2.7 pounds (157.1)
10 Months 8.1 lbs (149) 11 months +2 pounds ( 151) 1 YEAR!!! 2.6 pounds (148.4)


                                  Hit "One-derland April 9th, 2011   (199.7)

                                  "Half-Way Goal" April 25th, 2011 (194.8)

                                  "Happyland 80`s" May 14, 2011 (189.6)

                                   "Groovyland 70`s" June 20th 2011 (179.9)

                                    " HippyDippyland 60's" July 16th (169.8)

                                       " CQQL-land 50`s" August 25th ( 159.8)

                        "Normal BMI" 24.8 October 21st, 2011 (154.5) I am 5`6

                                 "AWESOME-land 40's" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                              "Century Club 100 Pounds" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                                ' ONE YEAR SURGIVERSARY!!!"

Two Year Surgiversary!!!"

Sometimes..I feel like a PHONY...

Our Mission

Follow us

Links

Select Photos

Sometimes..I feel like a PHONY...