I'm losing and my hubby is gaining my weight
Hell i know what you are going through. I remember the first day back from hospital the kids came to me with their left over chicken kiev for me to eat, as i was obviously the human trash can before surgery, lol. so when i said no thanks to the kids they put on their dads plate and he ate it. My husband loves me what ever size i am, but due to him being off work with a injury and now eating the family left overs and snacking he is getting a pot belly etc. I have said to him that he needs to get fit and lose weight and he insisted he needed weights in order to do so, which i know was him stalling, as sit ups alone would do the trick. so bought some next day and they are still sitting there, lol. I do feel guilty for feeling this way, and I feel awful for admitting this as im sure everyone will hate me for it, but I hate myself for being fat (still am, only starting my journery 6 wks out) but I think im a fatist. sorry. Im also suffering right now from terrible bouts of anger, like pmt on steriods, lol. which from a previous post now know that lots of people suffer from this after vsg. , but my marriage and family life is suffering big time. so i can understand why marriages end in divorce after surgery. dx
Ok, I had to go look that up!
Here is what I found (full packet) - they are not that bad!:
Tangy BBQ sauce: 50 calories, no fat, 11 carbs
Sweet n Sour Sauce: 50 calories, no fat, 6 carbs
Honey Mustard Sauce: 60 calories, 4 g fat, 5 carbs
Not that I am advocating eating at McDonalds, but I do think that you could have a 2 oz portion of grilled chicken with about 1/2 of a packet of sauce.
There is also the Newman's Own Dressings, which are bigger packets, so I think only 1/3 of a packet would be needed. Full packet info:
Newman's Own Low Fat Family Recipe Italian Dressing: 50 calories, 2.5 g fat, 16 carbs
Newman's Own Low Fat Balsamic Vinaigrette: 35 calories, 2.5 g fat, 3 g carbs
Here is what I found (full packet) - they are not that bad!:
Tangy BBQ sauce: 50 calories, no fat, 11 carbs
Sweet n Sour Sauce: 50 calories, no fat, 6 carbs
Honey Mustard Sauce: 60 calories, 4 g fat, 5 carbs
Not that I am advocating eating at McDonalds, but I do think that you could have a 2 oz portion of grilled chicken with about 1/2 of a packet of sauce.
There is also the Newman's Own Dressings, which are bigger packets, so I think only 1/3 of a packet would be needed. Full packet info:
Newman's Own Low Fat Family Recipe Italian Dressing: 50 calories, 2.5 g fat, 16 carbs
Newman's Own Low Fat Balsamic Vinaigrette: 35 calories, 2.5 g fat, 3 g carbs
5'9" All weight lost post-op. Goal weight determined by body composition testing.
Use this as a teaching opportunity for your children.
Teach them not to eat at places like McDonald's and Chilis and Outback Steakhouse.
Teach them how to screen food on a menu.
Teach them to cook healthy food at home.
Teach them what a frigging stupid argument the "hungry children in Africa" saying is. So, are you going to pack up this leftover food on ice and pay to have it shipped to a tribe in Africa? No? You're going to eat my leftovers instead after you just finished a 1,200 calorie meal? How does that make sense? If someone in the world is starving, why do you think that makes it ok for you to clearly overeat and put yourself at risk for heart disease? If you are worried that Africans need food, donate food or money to them, do not use that as a sick excuse to stuff your face when your belly is already full.
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The issue with your husband is tough. It seems like you are on divergent courses, and that has huge implications for your relationship. I would recommend candidly discussing these feelings with him before you guys grow too far apart. You have health goals you're trying to set for your children, and he's fighting you in actions, if not words as well. It's possible his resentment will grow as you be come slimmer, and again possible that he'll feed that resentment with food. Weight can definitely affect sex like you described, and you should warn him that if he gets heavier it's really going to negatively affect what you guys can physically do. I'm not tryingbto be negative about someone you love, but you've got to act when he responds to your weight loss but putting on more weight himself. It makes me wonder if he feels threatened, and is insolating himself from you by eating more and wrapping more weight around him. Does he speak positively of your efforts to pursue health and teach your children well?
Also, like others said, just tell him your food is yours. You have every right to throw it away it you don't want it to tempt you, or pretend to take it home and then throw it away. I'll just take a little food from my partner, that way we both save money and order less calories. Hopefully your husband would be supportive of that and not feel like you're stealing more of his food.
Teach them not to eat at places like McDonald's and Chilis and Outback Steakhouse.
Teach them how to screen food on a menu.
Teach them to cook healthy food at home.
Teach them what a frigging stupid argument the "hungry children in Africa" saying is. So, are you going to pack up this leftover food on ice and pay to have it shipped to a tribe in Africa? No? You're going to eat my leftovers instead after you just finished a 1,200 calorie meal? How does that make sense? If someone in the world is starving, why do you think that makes it ok for you to clearly overeat and put yourself at risk for heart disease? If you are worried that Africans need food, donate food or money to them, do not use that as a sick excuse to stuff your face when your belly is already full.
--------------------------
The issue with your husband is tough. It seems like you are on divergent courses, and that has huge implications for your relationship. I would recommend candidly discussing these feelings with him before you guys grow too far apart. You have health goals you're trying to set for your children, and he's fighting you in actions, if not words as well. It's possible his resentment will grow as you be come slimmer, and again possible that he'll feed that resentment with food. Weight can definitely affect sex like you described, and you should warn him that if he gets heavier it's really going to negatively affect what you guys can physically do. I'm not tryingbto be negative about someone you love, but you've got to act when he responds to your weight loss but putting on more weight himself. It makes me wonder if he feels threatened, and is insolating himself from you by eating more and wrapping more weight around him. Does he speak positively of your efforts to pursue health and teach your children well?
Also, like others said, just tell him your food is yours. You have every right to throw it away it you don't want it to tempt you, or pretend to take it home and then throw it away. I'll just take a little food from my partner, that way we both save money and order less calories. Hopefully your husband would be supportive of that and not feel like you're stealing more of his food.
Heaviest weight: 310 pounds (Male, 5'10")
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