Some people....

really make me wonder.... or should I say family...

Last night I went to a family birthday gathering, and I heard it again.... "I really don't think you should have that WLS, you don't need it you're doing so well on your own...... It's a really big surgery and so I've hear had bad things happen....you don't need to get down to 180-190... I think you've lost enogh weight off your face and neck... blah blah blah"      frigg it ****** me off.  

I told them, "Yes, I have done good so far in my weightloss and yes I could possibly be down to 250 to be able to get my hernia repair by that time I see the Weight loss team (nov 8),but... if the surgeon says he can do both at the same time then, that's good, because I feel that the VSG will give me that added help to get me down to my goal and stay there." Well that blew right over their heads.

So I shut up and I sat there with my glass of water, quiet and taking things in... watching them eat their plates of 2 slices of cake and icecream lol... seeing how they themselves are putting on weight and I think... who the hell are they to offer any kind of wisdom in their advice when their own health & lifestyle is chit. I guess you really see who the true supporters are and who aren't in your life..  

 

 

You'll wear yourself down trying to fight against ignorance. Just do what you know is best for you and let them go on with themselves.. I told people about what I was doing, and maybe it was common sense on their parts- or maybe it was the way I concretely said it- but no one had the balls to question my decision. If they had, they would have gotten a simple- "my body, my health, my medical decision.. how exactly does this effect you?" It doesn't effect them, they have no say in the matter!

I went through a lot of that before my surgery... It's incredibly frustrating when people tell you that you shouldn't or you can't do something because THEY don't think it's a good idea. My response was always, "Watch me..."

Don't let other people discourage you, something to remember about this journey is that it's about YOU!

Best of luck!

Sometimes it is not all about you.  They have their own issues (ala 2 slices of cake and ice cream).  Sometimes it is not them being unsupportive of you so much as it is about them not wanting to change themselves. Yes it is selfish to discourage someone because you don't want to face your own issues, but that's the way a lot of people are.

You just do you. You got this.

I kills me that ppl have heard "so many bad things" when the vast majority of ppl have never even heard of the sleeve! My PCP (who has a friend who works in a hosp that does WLS) hadn't even heard of it until I talked to him! Granted there is no long term data on the sleeve because its so new but I believe it to be a superior surgery. They have been sleeving ppl dor decades (as the DS) but as a stand alone it shows great long term progress. 5 years out ppl are still doing great! Insurances are even beginning to cover it because it has become obvious that it works!

EVERY surgery as risks! Every single one! I studied the risks of cesarean exhaustively and the risks (statistically speaking, not the exact same risks) are about the same for the VSG. Ppl don't bat an eye if you say you had a cesarean but suddenly when you tell ppl you are getting WLS its "too risky"! It all comes down to ignorance (they have not studied it like you have) and you will dig yourself an early grave trying to get them to understand. This is about YOU and saving YOUR life! Opinions are like ******** everyone has one and you have to learn to ignore them.

Very few ppl know I am getting the VSG and I used to get constant "well, why don't you try...?" I just tell them that if they have questions regarding the surgery feel free to ask, I would be happy to share what I know, and I know that diets don't work for me and therefore I am not willing to "try" anything because chances are I have either already tried them or I have concrete evidence that they don't work so what is the point? Ppl have started leaving me alone about it. I still get the occasional comment but I deal and move on. There is one coment ppl like to give me on the "you don't need surgery" front and I take it as a compliment and move on lol. They tell me "But you carry your weight so well!" Although a couple times I have stated the NOBODY "carries" an extra 150 pounds "well" and that it hurts to be me every single day, which I hope the sleeve will help change!

Bottom line, ignore the naysayers (as best you can.... they can be pretty annoying) and know that you are doing the best thing you can do for yourself! And when all those ppl shoving cake down there gullet see how great you look and your health vastly improved when its all said and done they can realize how wrong they were.

I also went to a birthday celebration last night, my son turned 38 yesterday.  My husband and I joined my son, his wife and their 3 kids (15,12,9) went to Joes Crab Shack .  I watched them pack away double sized buckets of seafood till they could barely walk then home to cake and icecream.  I mentioned that I had lost 65lbs and just barely a nod. They are not overweight by the way.  Then I told my son that his brother is considering WLS and he snorted and said why can't he just go on a diet?  I really felt like even tho I have explained over and over why people get WLS he still wasn't getting it.  I just think that even though people in your life love you they still do not understand the difficulties that an overweight person encounters in life because they have not experienced it.  I don't know if they are not supporting you or if they just don't understand someone being so desperate for good health that surgery is their only option.  I think some people, especially family lets their love for you get in the way of well thought out and considerate advice.  I guess all we can do is go about our lives and celebrate our WLS and the losses with each other and the ones in our lives that encourage us, leaving all others to jus****ch our successes and not participate in them with us.

I had one person express similar thoughts.  I looked at her, smiled and asked her where she got her medical degree?

She looked confused and said, "I'm not a doctor".

My response was, "Well, I figured that you must be a physician, since you think that you know better than my doctors do about how to treat me."

 Honestly, I would develop a standard response that you give to everyone in this situation.  Something like (with a smile), "Thanks so much for your concern, it really does mean a lot.  I've done a lot of research, and I'm comfortable with my decision.  It's final, and I've made a decision not to discuss it anymore at this point."  And then stop talking about it.  You have all the power to end the conversation.

I am pre op myself and get this alot from some famly members. I have started to just smile and thank them. Some I even agree with and just smile and say you are so right, but I am going right ahead full steam. Just waiting for insurance approval.

I know its frustrsting to hear it from them, but it could be that they are just worried about you.  When they see how well you do- they'll back off.  It's like when someone is pregnant and every woman they meet tells them the worst labor and delivery story she's ever heard.  People are funny.  I agree with the polite firm response about how you are certain you've made the best desicion for you and then move on.