Dating after Weight Loss Surgery..Do you know your worth? Girls only!

Tirza T.
on 7/26/11 10:49 am

VSG on 01/17/12

BTW when I was talking about women getting divorced after weight loss I was not talking about you. I loathe verbal abuse and I think alot of people don't realize it can hurt as much or more than a slap. I think your story is an inspiration and we are all works in progress. I think you should just live your life as you are doing. My mom always told me she pretty much knew if she could really see herself with a guy (compatible on a few levels) after one or two dates. If she felt there wouldn't be a future she wouldn't date them again. It sounds cold hearted but she didn't want to waste her time or theirs and no one ever got hurt because they weren't emotionally vested in the relationship. She met my father when she was 16 and they were together until he passed 7 years ago. I think that is what you should do. Just give the guys a shot and go on a date, but cut them loose if you really can't see yourself with them. Good luck!

Tirza T.
on 7/26/11 10:37 am

VSG on 01/17/12

I think this post is absolutely 100% correct! Your attitude and confidence are exactly as they should be. I did settle for BS guys in the past and had a rough way around when it came to men. The kicker is I would even date men that I wasn't all that attracted to because I thought it would possibly give me the control in the relationship. Ha....they were the worst cheaters out of them all. I was fortunate enough to meet my husband at a really secure stage in my life when I was over the BS. I have gained 180 pounds since he met me. He does not like the weight gain at all...but he loves me and sticks with me through everything. He is not perfect and neither am I, but I look forward to this surgery and going out with my man without feeling like we don't belong together. I have noticed a lot of women lose weight and then get divorced. They may have had other problems, but I just feel that my husband loved me no matter what and it would be silly to leave him for a guy that wouldn't have looked at me twice the way I am right now. Anyway, I have gotten way off topic. Your advice is great and I hope everyone that is thinking about dating heeds your advice. It will save them alot of trouble.

ccbelle14
on 7/26/11 10:43 am - Minneapolis, MN

How very, very true! It's weird to think of some of the frogs I dated pre-WLS because I just wanted to date "someone." But it's definitely bizarre now that I'm on the thinner end of the spectrum (well, for me anyway) and getting lots of looks from guys. I love the attention that comes from it, I'm not gonna lie!

You hit the nail on the head with it all having to do with confidence. I really think there's nothing more attractive to a guy than a woman who doesn't need him.

Be true to yourself, keep knowing your worth, keep having fun, and keep being your sassy self! The right guy will come along at some point.

Highest Weight (2008): 360 Surgery Consult Weight: 340 Day of Surgery: 318
Height: 5'10"

DrHollywood
on 7/26/11 10:47 am - Harbor City, CA

VSG on 02/01/11

great post thanks. I am going through this too. I needed to hear
what you had to say with that confident attitude!

Hand some
over here plz!

                      ✿ L♦O♦V♦E ✿ & ✿ P♦E♦A♦C♦E ✿ღ ✿ & F♦R♦I♦E♦N♦D♦S ✿ ღ
                         "Keeping The Faith!"   "Slim by Summer!"
                                    HW: 250 - SW: 241 - CW: 154.7- GW: 140


1 month: 22 pounds (216) 2 months: 12.2 pounds (203.8) 3 months: 10.6  (193.2)
4 months: 9.7 lbs (183.5) 5 Months: 6 pounds (177.5 ) 6 Months: 12 lbs ( 165.5)
7 Months 7.1 lbs (158.4) 8 Months +1.6 pounds(159.8) 9 Months 2.7 pounds (157.1)
10 Months 8.1 lbs (149) 11 months +2 pounds ( 151) 1 YEAR!!! 2.6 pounds (148.4)


                                  Hit "One-derland April 9th, 2011   (199.7)

                                  "Half-Way Goal" April 25th, 2011 (194.8)

                                  "Happyland 80`s" May 14, 2011 (189.6)

                                   "Groovyland 70`s" June 20th 2011 (179.9)

                                    " HippyDippyland 60's" July 16th (169.8)

                                       " CQQL-land 50`s" August 25th ( 159.8)

                        "Normal BMI" 24.8 October 21st, 2011 (154.5) I am 5`6

                                 "AWESOME-land 40's" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                              "Century Club 100 Pounds" Dec 1st 2011 (149)

                                ' ONE YEAR SURGIVERSARY!!!"

Two Year Surgiversary!!!"

jimbovsg
on 7/26/11 1:21 pm

VSG on 09/01/09

well sassy sounds like you are learning to put yourself first....now. that is great. you deserve the best! But i hope a few bad experiences don't stop you from putting yourself out there with relationships. it is easy to get jaded in this world....and you are too young for that. Thinking that all frogs are the same.....is not a good strategy....you may skip over a prince...cuz you get tired of kissing all the frogs! for me.....i will keep kissing as many frogs as i need to....to find my princess....it is a tough job....but someone has to do it! Good luck in finding your prince!

JIMBO...  350lbs! lost!..... TRIPLE CENTURY CLUB!!  HELL ...YEAH!
MY  VSG......KICKS ASS!

I am   6' 2"

Phyllis C.
on 7/26/11 10:49 pm

VSG on 04/17/08

I may be wrong, but what I think I am reading here is..."if you didn't have time for me when I was fat, I don't have time for you now that I am not!"

Nothing ****** me off more that getting attention from someone who ignored me when I was fat and now wants to be all over me because I am thinner.

I can totally relate to being turned off bya guy who thinks because they have money, he can control you. I would rather be with someone who is willing to share what they have with no strings attached even if they have very little. When I met my husband, he was not rich in any way, but he gave me everything he had and together we built up our possessions and finances. We have been equal partners the whole way.

Don't shy away from men telling you that you are beautiful, just say "thank you" and don't give it another thought. Self confidence is power.

I love being barefoot in the kitchen, but I don't know about the children so much.

As you get older, you will be even less inclined to put up with bull****

Phyllis
"Me agreeing with you doesn't preclude you from being a deviant."

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