It's so hard to watch my mother kill herself..
((((HUGS))))!!!!
While changing meds might not solve all of her problems, you might try convincing her to change her sleep medication. I have only ever taken Ambien, but hopefully some of the others don't cause what you are describing.
i get frustrated because all she does is make excuses. that she cant have bariatric surgery because she could get a blood clot yada yada. shes a nurse mind you. i told her it was possible she will get a blood clot but likely her co morbidities will kill her..
i have a 400lb uncle that talked her out of lap band a few years ago, scaring her away from it (not for the logical reasons i know since i did research, for stupid uneducated reasons). i think it would take his inevitable early death to show her.
and it hurts my feelings she choses food over us. she says life is too hard, why would she want to live a long life.
she is aware of her ambien night eating and refuses to change meds, we have discussed it at length.
the more i write the more i see she is being stubborn as f*ck! i guess there isnt much more i can do, my brother and i have interventioned her and the rest of the family doesnt agree because thier answer to everything is "diet".
oh well..
HW: 258lbs SW: 240 CW: 140 I am 5 foot 7 and 30 years old
VSG 12/21/10 Plastics: Tummy tuck, breast lift, and augmentation 11/3/11
Soon to be veterinarian!! xoxo
She has to be ready to do it. You are a wonderful daughter for caring about her so much. Maybe you could just start by encouraging her to make one change at a time. Using the CPAP would be a good place to start. She will be able to get rest and think clearer. It took me a full month to work up to using it every night, but the sleep is sooo much better if she can just make herself tolerate it. I use the "nose" mask instead of the full face mask and it is not as constricting.
I'm so wish I had the answer because I feel like I know just what she is going through. Ultimately though it has to be her that is ready to change.
HW 421/SW 408//GW 180
I hope you get through this. Also I support what everyone else says.
huuugs
✿ L♦O♦V♦E ✿ & ✿ P♦E♦A♦C♦E ✿ღ ✿ & F♦R♦I♦E♦N♦D♦S ✿ ღ
"Keeping The Faith!" "Slim by Summer!"
HW: 250 - SW: 241 - CW: 154.7- GW: 140
1 month: 22 pounds (216) 2 months: 12.2 pounds (203.8) 3 months: 10.6 (193.2)
4 months: 9.7 lbs (183.5) 5 Months: 6 pounds (177.5 ) 6 Months: 12 lbs ( 165.5)
7 Months 7.1 lbs (158.4) 8 Months +1.6 pounds(159.8) 9 Months 2.7 pounds (157.1)
10 Months 8.1 lbs (149) 11 months +2 pounds ( 151) 1 YEAR!!! 2.6 pounds (148.4)
Hit "One-derland April 9th, 2011 (199.7)
"Half-Way Goal" April 25th, 2011 (194.8)
"Happyland 80`s" May 14, 2011 (189.6)
"Groovyland 70`s" June 20th 2011 (179.9)
" HippyDippyland 60's" July 16th (169.8)
" CQQL-land 50`s" August 25th ( 159.8)
"Normal BMI" 24.8 October 21st, 2011 (154.5) I am 5`6
"AWESOME-land 40's" Dec 1st 2011 (149)
"Century Club 100 Pounds" Dec 1st 2011 (149)
' ONE YEAR SURGIVERSARY!!!"
Two Year Surgiversary!!!"
She had a small stroke and small heart attack in her 50's before dying at her desk of a massive heart attack at the age of 60, right after going and eating at an all-you-can-eat Indian Buffet. I miss her more than I can say. She was a wonderful, vibrant, intelligent, kind woman and I loved her with all of my heart.
I can tell you that having that experience is how I came to have the mindset of not feeling deprived when I choose NOT to eat unhealthy foods. I saw what they cost my mother.. and there are not enough cookies in the world for me to want to leave this world too soon and leave my son without his mother.
I love living and my health and myself and my son too much to choose cookies over him. Your mom's life is hard because she chooses to eat foods that depress her, give her pain and make her feel terrible.. it's so sad that she can't see the irony in that.
Start weight: 388, Current Weight: 185, Goal Weight: 180, Weight Lost: 203 lbs
Certified Nutritionist ♥ VSG FAQ♥ sublimate: To elevate or uplift.
3/2012 Plastics: LBL, 3 Hernias Fixed, BL/BA, Rhinoplasty & Septum Fix. 6/2013 Plastics: Arm and thigh lift
You have my sympathies.. I don't know how old your mom is.. mine is 69 and in a similar state, but with ciggs and diabetes added to the mess...
It sounds like since she is educated as a nurse, she knows the dangers of not treating her apnea. Also her comment about life being hard, why would I want to live a long life- sounds like she's battling a bit of depression too, which makes you stubborn as the effort just seems not worthwhile and frankly too daunting.
I agree, if there is a way to at least get her started using the cpap, if it's uncomfortable, find other nose pieces/gear- some are more tolerable than others. Maybe you & your fam can come up with some encouragement goals/rewards to do something she'd like. That alone may improve her outlook..
The other- would she be at all open to talking to a Dr about therapy or short-term anti-depressants, or even herbal meds to help?
Intervention, I personally would avoid.. it really does cause much more pain than many let on, and others are 100% right, she will not do it till she wants to, regardless.. and she may never chose to, and you need to be ok with this to as much as you can be.
Having sick parents that refuse to help themselves is really really hard, but we both have to practice the "we are all competent adults and chose our own path with it's own consequences" mindset to stay sane. But I still would first try to figure a way to appeal to her nature to use the CPAP, and maybe try some mood-lifters, even St Johns wort or SAM-e. It may really help.
