I am NOT deprived

To me that was a TRULY deprived life. I TRULY felt deprived at 388 pounds.. now I feel liberated from food. I know some people consider that deprivation won't work for them and I understand that.. it wouldn't work for me either.  What I do works for me because I do NOT feel deprived at all. 

I admire your focus and you are so totally on the mark with this statement. 

Sublimate,

Thank you so very much for posting this.  Like another poster I have been in OA for 20+ and found so much relief from various aspects of my disordered eating.  I have been (imperfectly) abstinent from sugar for 16 of those years.  Early on in this process, I was at home watching my gf eat a bowl of ice cream.  I started crying because I felt so deprived that I couldn't have any.  She sat her spoon down and said, no, it's not the ice cream, you just feel *deprived.*  This was definitely a profound "ah-ha" moment for me.  

I think I have heard you say you got this surgery so *some* could be enough.  That is exactly where I am!  Thanks for reaching out to all of us.   

Glad you found my post useful. I have also been abstinent to a degree for many years and found so much beauty and peace and freedom in my abstinence.  But what made all the difference was realizing what I was truly deprived of in life.   The quote you said is actually from Brandilynn but we think very alike on this topic.. I totally love her.

****Light bulb moment for me!!!****

Hi Rose!!

"Then I imagined all the consequences for those few minutes of pleasure. Walking in pain. The aches in my body. Not being able to be comfortable sleeping. Never having nice clothes. Having to send my son to Disneyland and not being able to go with him. Feeling ashamed of my size. Avoiding going out. Missing out on so many things in life.

In that moment everything for me became crystal clear and my attitude towards food was forever changed. I realized how the food that gave me such a short time of pleasure really robbed everything else from my life. I could never trust myself to have just a little bit.. one bite was too many and a thousand bites were never enough."


I read your post the other day. This statement bounced out at me. We had our yearly Calgary Stampede this weekend. Well there was all kinds of junk food to eat from donut burgers to deep fried everything. I chose a low fat, gluten-free pizza. It was a really thin crust. Really healthy tasting!..Later in the day. I had a salad...Greens, a few craisins and the dressing with bacon. Before we left we did treat ourselves to some of the fresh mini donuts. Years before we all would get a bucket each!!!. This year we got a little bag and all shared it. I had 4 compared to a bucket. That was my treat. Drinking was water and lemon. If I hadn't seen your post, I kinda wonder what I would of let myself eat!!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!

Want to say how happy I am that I saw your post the other day. It will make things a lot easier!

Hugs

Donna

   OK....first let me say you know i respect your opinion....and you have a wealth of knowledge to share here...on OH.  Let me express my "non-professional" opinion on this subject....again.  My attitude is I don't consider any foods "off limits"  It is how much....and how often...that I limit...ONLY!   See my experience has been...when I am too strict...like < 20 carbs a day...that I did on Atkins for 6 months ...it was too hard....felt deprived....and gave up! I don't think i am the only one! 

   This is why Atkins...etc...any "diet"  does NOT WORK!   Hell they are great short term...but how many people can maintain it for life!  If it were  a high percentage...we would NOT need WLS....would we? The problem with the "die" mentality...for most people ( and I know you are NOT advocating a "diet")  Is that they see it as TEMPORARY!  We go off...and on "diets" that is where they ALL....fail!  Keeps the diet industry in business!  If one does not change their lifestyle...relationship with food...and deal with the emotional eating....or binge eating....NO WLS will be effective...even the DS!
    I was not a binge eater....so I cannot relate to that issue....I feel for people who struggle with this....but it was not an issue for me.  But from what i can gather....people with B.E.D  will need to get that under control....or forever struggle with food.  So to me....substituting the behavior...or trying to eliminate it ...is the answer.  NOT....substituting the FOOD!  IF I had B.E.D...I would NOT be substituting "better" or "alternative" recipes....foods etc....cuz the ability to binge overeat....graze ....etc....will still be there ...even with "low carb" substitutes....right?  For instance....people often post the low carb PB cookies recipe...sounds great...right?  They are NOT low cal......if you eat 2 dozen of them per day....that is a problem...low carb or not!   I eat regular full fat.... regular carb foods.....in moderation....this is key for me...and works for me.....I am not a binge eater....so I'm lucky in that respect.

    One of the many reasons the low fat craze ...did NOT work...was that they substituted carbs for fat....they then made portions unrealistic...and food labels were not clear about serving size...which we now know is unrealistically tiny.( who eats 2 tiny cookies!)  and when the general public see "low fat" or "healthy' on the label...studies show that people were increasing amounts consumed...increasing total cals......increasing waistlines!  I see a lot of that same thing with substituting out recipes...people who are binge eaters..should be VERY careful here.....NOT to get sucked into..."they are low carb....so I can eat MORE of them"  having WLS will NOT solve this issue for binge eaters....neither will low carb substitutes!  You've often stated....."I do low carb substitutes ....so if i binge i don't do as much damage!"  I look at it like this...you can bleed out and die from a BB gun wound ...or a shotgun blast (one obviously more damaging than the other!)  Wouldn't it be better to avoid getting shot to begin with?  If one binges on low carb....slider foods...the damage will be less...but damage nonetheless....I say deal with/avoid the behavior...is the solution.
   
   We always hear people say....."they do surgery on our stomachs ...NOT our brains!"....how true that is!  If we are not honest with ourselves......we do not deal with our issues....We do not "know" ourselves...triggers...etc...why we eat emotionally etc...NO WLS will be a permanent solution for us!  It sucks....but but it is reality....this is why there are a significant number of WLS "failures"  I have....and will continue to work on my mindset...and issues....so I can stay out of that category.....I know you are doing the same...and I hope you find your solution......I'm still a work in progress....and will be for life!  Just my 2 cents!
     

Just found this thread…
I must say I feel lucky to not have even been one to eat large quantities of food or have binge tendencies. I gained my weight while having children and just not taking the time to care about my calorie intake, I really ate much like I did before, the trouble was before kids… I could eat anything and stay thin. My body changed and my habits did not. That being said. Id didnt ever really put on weight after the pregnancies… only durning them. Just found it impossible to lose. I have never been super low carb purposely (post vsg). While following my dr. orders I have not had much room for carbs in my baby belly. But I have tried to meet my protein while eating as normal as I can. I find that I cant eat much and if Im gonna have a treat, well I just have a lil bit and thats that. For me it works just fine. My lil sis went to the baskin robins drive through. I hadn't ben there post op. I had get get me a pb chocolate one scoop sundae, I had about 4 bites and the fed it to the willing hubby. I would have tossed it otherwise. Theres not a huge desire. I don't do it too often and I don't over do it. We all have to do what works for us and our bodies. I like Jim must say that having none of it…. makes me ******g want it like mad. I cant live on a diet… in reality I refuse to live a life full of restrictions. Im here, Im now and I want it all… and why not. Thats why I got the VSG so I cant do it all in moderation. I do get why others cant and am glad they are able to find ways around it. When I was diabetic, I did the same. I subbed out tons of **** for sugar free and low carb. It was my only choice, now I refuse to because…. I can…. and I luff it. I get both sides of this and if you can get a handle on **** I say do what makes you happy and healthy… that said… Im off for a heaping spoon of rainbow sherbet… In my new life style… Its sans the bowl… Just a spoon full and moving on… haha…. Love everyones opinions and passion

Save me some!!