PISSED THE F*CK OFF!!!!!

I am sorry your going through this. I love your goals.  I feel your excitement.
Those people are just jealous is the bottom line.

I agree with frisco about the facebook thing. 

Hope you get through this.

I read your goals, and I do see one common theme that I can understand making her uncomfortable. It is all about the physical package, the looks and focus on how you see that large package as repulsive and therefore she must be repulsive.
Very little on that list is about getting healthier, moving more, being physically active, you are setting sights on this dream body which will get you a man and not on reality. Depending on how much you have to lose, if it is a lot you need to understand that you will sag and bag and may not look as 'hot' as you think. If that happens are you going to be devastated? Do you understand that you will end up with more skin infections than before? That actually isn't a bad thing as that can help you qualify for minimal plastics covered by insurance.
Don't forget, a hot body might get you a man, but not necessarily a good one, and getting one isn't essential for survival, but having good, long lasting friendships is.
Maybe it is time to dig deeper within yourself for the reasons for getting this surgery, this isn't an immediate fix, and you need to remember it is only a tool and it won't do the work by itself, you have to do the work too.
Good luck.

I take offense to your post. I did not do this to myself to get a man. I'm perfectly capable to do so now. I did this for my health. Which I have posted many times. I'm very active already. However these were my long term goals on top of getting physically fit. I know there will be skin and all that. I knew that before I signed up. But my choice to do this surgery was to feel better in my own skin. I'm not superficial now nor will I ever been and it's points of views like yours that really upset me. Thanks for your opinion but since you don't know me it really doesn't hold weight with me.  

I've lost a few of my BBW friends because they "feel" that I shunned the "size acceptance" world for a life of skinnydom. I've been called a bobble head doll, and ***** without a cause, and that I've forgotten where I came from. Sadly, I have learned that jealousy is like a bad cold, and all I can do is hope they get well soon.

Your goals are fabulous, and when there are toxic people in your life, you either choose to endure their misery, or you nix them out of your life. No other way around it. It was difficult parting ways with those friends (I'm talking like 7-8 year long friendships), and only 2 of them have come around now, after hearing through the grapevine that I'm pregnant and thriving, to find out more about VSG. They want in on this life, they realize I never changed, they realized that I never shunned anyone for their size, but they were the ones shunning me because I was "skinny".

You just have to hold tight to those that support you, and let go of and do not engage or defend yourself to those that want to bring you down.

Jealousy is a ***** sometimes. Stick to your goals and just say "fuck it" and be the same you. You are super positive and dealing with all the negativity is really unnecessary. Good luck with your friend and I hope she comes around.

When you are up to your ass in alligators, it is difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp!

 You've already gotten some terrific posts from different perspectives. I think there are some good points on both sides.

One thing for sure is that your lifestyles will be so different that you may just having nothing in common anymore, which is part of what friendship is all about.

I think if there is anything worth saving, give her some slack. There is a valid point to her personally being upset for you posting on facebook something that reflected her own situation with her boyfriend being smaller in weight, and that "in your mind" that is NOT RIGHT. Obviously, you said you've talked about weight issues together before and maybe you already knew this was a sensitive area for her??

Now, should she attack you over it, no...but I didn't really read an "attack" in her words, just a fear that you will change, which is actually also valid...you will change in a lot of ways according to everything I read about WLS.

Are you entitled to every one of those personal goals? Of course! Nothing wrong with having some "vain" goals...I think too many people don't want to admit, that we do have a vain side, and looks do come in to play here. And self confidence is a great thing.

One last thing....I was an idiot when a friend was getting bypass several years ago...I tried to talk her out of it, tried to tell her to diet with me one last time...it was our thing...dieting and going to the gym. I was not supportive at all of any WLS, thought she could die...and was even mean a couple of times, didn't even know completely why I was reacting the way I was....Afterwards, I apologized over and over, but it did not matter...our friendship was never the same. But I still care about her and hope that she is well.  And now, I so fully understand how I hurt her, since my Best Friend, did the same thing when I told her I was getting WLS.

But luckily, I let my best friend's reaction go....I knew that with time she would come around, just like I did. I was not going to lose her friendship completely by staying mad at her.

Knowing what you want and how to change it are not mean nor selfish nor judgemental. It doesnt sound like you were downing anyone, it just sounds like your friend is hyper-self conscious and you probably struck a nerve because you made the change.

jealousy is a ***** as are some women!

I was against wls myself for years. I have seen ppl get the surgery ( some success some fail ) .. I seen my friend have the gastric bypass and talk abt all these things being better ( sex, shopping, etc ) and I said wow she forgot who she was and turned into this new lifestyle and now abandoned who she "was"....Then I got the vsg....I have lost 62 lbs so far and just shy of 4 mo out...My friends that were smaller then me are now bigger then me. I finally weigh less then my husband and my mother ! I am happy but I will never forget where I came from ! Its not about losing the weight in the first year its abt maintaining it. I have seen women over 300 pounds lose 180 and go gain 150 of it back ... sad but true . We all strive and vow to not let that happen but noone can tell the future only god can and only god knows where you will be in  a yr or so. I understand your reasons for having wls and the whole sex thing, looking good thing etc. I too was into the bbw parties because I was accepted there. I dont think your friend is jealous. I am sure if she wanted to go for surgery she would. It is a big decision and major surgery and not many ppl will do that. I said myself I was against wls for along time. I thought the same thing abt my friend who had the gastric bypass that your friend is saying to you ( changing who you are etc ) and the fact is honey YES people do change. That is what ppl fear. The same way money changes ppl so can this surgery due to the lifestyle change. The ONLY reason you should of had this surgery in my eyes is to be healthy ! Every other reason is secondary. I had never let my weight keep me from having great sex, looking hot, running, or anything else that was on your list. I did however allow my weight from keeping me healthy. I have a son that is 12 that I need to be here for. It dont matter what order you put your reasons in honestly, but I feel that you dont need to validate your reasons for having this surgery anywhere.  Even though everyone will not be supportive or happy for your success sometimes its better to not post things on forums,fb or anywhere if you dont like or accept how someone else feels.  You opened yourself up for negative feedback when you post anywhere!  I personally dont post on fb my success because not everyone will see it as myself. I dont post on OH for my nsv or even my scale victories because I feel like its a validation of myself . I dont need a congrats from someone nor do I need any negative feedback regardless. I am comfortable in my own skin whether I am 280 pounds or 150 pounds. It all comes down to your own self esteem in the end. If my gf posted 22 reasons on fb abt her surgery I would feel some sort of way to. I cant lie and say I would understand her reasons. I would question why she feels she needs to explain her reasons for surgery and maybe her self esteem is low . I never let my weight define me no matter what. Attention now from men or attention then from men is the same regardless. No matter how painful my whole life was because of my weight, you can never forget who you are or where you came from. Some ppl forget that after surgery and become someone else. I think your friend accused you of being fake because I am sure prior to surgery you werent worried about being taken more serious at work. Your work is based on how good you are as a makeup artist not your weight. Do you think you will get more clients because you are smaller ?  That makes it seem as you are that insecure in your own job! I am sure you werent worried about wearing a mans shirt to bed when you were heavy. These are probably the reasons that make you look fake to her. there is nothing fake about saying you wanted to be more healthy or feel better abt yourself physically.  I agree with the lady who said ppl have a vision they will be this hot person after surgery. Its by far the normal. You gain your health and self esteem that is it. With the wrong food choices that can be lost also. Stay humble and true to yourself and who you really are. That is with life itself not just wls. Best of luck to you and hopefully you will have long term success with your wl and your personal friendships. best of luck