PISSED THE F*CK OFF!!!!!

Jimbo hit the nail on the head here.   For years you've fit into a specific role in your friend's life -- fellow fat-chick, eating partner, someone to be seen in public with (power in numbers kind of thing), and now that's changing.  Misery does love company, like he said...She's threatened by the fact that you won't be like HER anymore. 

Give it some distance and time, and if she can't deal with it then it's her loss, and your gain by getting rid of a negative influence in your life.  If she can deal with it, great--I bet within a couple of years she's asking you questions about WLS when she sees how your life transforms. 

those sound like great goals and if they make you happy get to it!!!!!! what in particular was your friend mad about? I don't understand that all sounds like things that mean something to you. I will say this.... some of those things have a lot to do with just being happy with yourself and you should be you are working hard to get where you plan to be. I have a hard time being nice to myself sometimes but you really should be nicer to yourself and be proud of yourself. And on that note you did this for you not anyone else not a man and not your friends and family... YOU!!! They don't have to understand they just need to stand by you!!! For me if they cant stand by me then stand back cause I'm on a roll and I'm gonna do what I have to do to make my life better, happier, and healthier. If you want to be a part of it then just be supportive! Wow that almost made me cry! Forgive my rant but I think you are doing great! No stress Much love keep working hard! You dont have to give up your friends just tell them like you did.... nothing against you and I'm sorry you didn't understand but I'm making a change for the better in my life and I want you to be a part of that!!!

Thanks Audrey! You totally get where I'm coming from!! xoxo 

Let me give you a perspective from an older person.  My best friend, my oldest friend, her name is Janet and we have been friends since we met in high school.  I was 17 she was 18.  Now I am 58 and will be 59 in a few months.  We have been friends thru school, marriage, the death of her husband 1 week after the birth of her second child and only son, my divorce, my remarriage, the births of our grandchildren.  Now she is weak, she has terminal cancer that has spread to her lungs, brain, liver, stomach and kidneys.  She doesn't have long.  I pray for her daily she still prays for me daily because we are closer than sisters and we love each other dearly.  If you have a friend sometimes its ok to disagree over trivial issues.  It's so easy to say, "I'm so sorry if I said something that hurt you, I didn't mean to do that.  I only meant to express my deepest feelings about myself  and my desires"  It's a lot harder to find a new friend than to nuture a close friendship.  Pick your battles and fight over the really important things in life..   I thought my friend Janet and I would be old blue haired ladies together, go on old fart cruises  and trips to Vegas.  Now I will have to do that with my HUSBAND!  Don't lose your friend if she is truely your friend.

I hear you Stephanie, and in most cases would agree with you. But to me if she was truly a friend she would support me and stop over analyzing everything I say to make it a personal insult to her and her situation. We weren't "super close" but close enough to talk about self esteem and weight issues and I've always been supportive of her choice to not do it. It's just sad but I think it's time to cut this relationship because it's toxic to who I'm trying to become as a healthy individual.  

Maybe you have to start keeping some things to only the VSG forum and friends on OH.  The only people who would understand how we feel are those who have experienced the surgery themselves.  I have let a few people in on my surgery, but i would never post on facebook because some people just rather put down the successes of others to help hide their own insecurities. And I think some things "friends and family" wont understand.. Can I be perfectly honest with you?  I totally agree to your list, and think that yeah all of those reasons would be great, but to me someone who is an acquittance who can relate for now being sleeved, i kind of took a step back and questioned why your first reason was for a man, and not for your own sake. I mean number one should have been to live life to its fullest..instead that was number 11 i believe and 14 is to love yourself more...although sex on top is definitely a lot of fun.. maybe this friend was only trying to make you take a step back and look at how your list panned out..and to remember the most important priorities of doing this surgery to make "You" feel better..but than again, who is she to say that your list isn't worth wanting...it is your list and whatever makes you happy...so once again, it comes down to the personal thing that you yourself mentioned.. some of these things on the list are very personal, and someone who has not had surgery or is not losing weight like you are doing now would definitely not understand...but as your friend, she should be supportive no matter...
.Does she have a smaller boyfriend?  I don't know why she would be so upset over a teeshirt comment...unless she was upset that she has a smaller boyfriend than she is and she cant wear his shirts, but you said "To be able to wear his shirts as night shirts because I'm smaller than him, the way it should be in my mind!" maybe she took offense to you saying the way it should be... I dunno, she definitely is either jealous or just doesn't get it...maybe try to encourage her to start doing some light walks with you..or speak up your protein shakes..let her know that you are still her friend and could be her support too...

just trying to look at both sides...:-)

 Thank you Mel for your opinion. The list was in random order and I did post that on FB...I just wrote them as they poped into my head. I didn't do this for a man, but I do want to be seen by the male population more for who I am as a person instead of what I look like. I might not have articulated that as nicely as I would have preferred. 

She is pushing roughly 500lbs and her boyfriend is roughly 300lbs so yes technically he is smaller. But I did make it known that it was for my personal feelings not for anyone else nor would I ever judge anyone on what they have chosen for their life. 

I've tried to invite her to exercise or do stuff with me that is healthy but unless it involves going to a BBW club, or going to dinner she's not be very much involved. I think it's time to just cut ties for a while. 

Oh the ol' BBW clubs..lol been there done that...lol I totally understand. I think what jimbo said above was pretty good that we are going to have people be afraid of change...and so many have said some right on the button stuff... In the end, this is your life, and if she cant accept your new changes, and need for change, than its time to move on... obviously she has her own insecurities to fix on her own,, she doesn't seem to even want to better herself...
I also agree you shouldnt have to change how you feel or what makes you motivated because someones "feelings" might get hurt...even though you said they were listed randomly, i reread what i wrote and truthfully, it doesnt even matter what people think, once again this is your life..and even regarding myself, i have no right to judge how your list pans out..
My best friend told me yesterday that he told two so called girlfriends of mine that i had the surgery...but he claims they were drunk and wont remember..i still got upset because it sucks when people judge our decisions on why we decided to do the surgery..but after i took a deep breath, i realized he wasnt trying to be mean or hurt me, it was just a simple slip..and if people find out and want to jujde me, so be it because i know my reasons for doing this surgery...

and just so you know, respect from men is also on my list of finally goin forward with surgery...lol

Exactly! I know that when I post on public forums and FB I open myself up to everyones personal views and opinions. However no one can judge me but God himself. I welcome anyone's opinions and will be open to new view points. But I honestly don't think I was in the wrong here. I'm sorry your friend told people you weren't ready to tell..but in the end as long as you're happy with yourself and where you're going it really doesn't matter.