Ugghhhh MEN!!! Somewhat OT...

Can I just say that sometimes I hate men!

I have always been self-conscious about my body and too afraid of what people think of me...as I've gotten heavier over the years it only got worse and worse, and I rarely date! The inner dialogue in my head is always running with "I look fat in this..." or "Her friend(s) are so much hotter..." ETC. In the past I just avoided going out where I felt I'd be in situations that would make me feel bad about myself. I didn't go to parties unless I knew the majority of people going, I never went OUT to clubs or bars with friends...basically I was miserable and a 25/26 year old hermit! So nowwwww I have lost so much weight and feel SO much better about myself I WANT to go out and do things AND I am getting tons more invitations! That inner dialogue is still there, but it's a ton easier to shove into a box and so much less than it used to be. I am getting tons of compliments from co-workers, friends, and family and that only pumps up my ego...so what's the problem right?

I've started going out alot more...friends’ houses for parties, bars, etc. I've overheard conversations from guys commenting on how "fat" I am - "You take the fat one - no you take the fat one....c'mon take one for the Team." ETC and it just brings that inner dialogue right back in the open, making me want to be a hermit all over again. Since my surgery I've lost 94lbs which is amazing, BUT to normal standards I STILL have 100lbs more to go and I just HATE the judgment! THEN I will have to worry about all the loose skin...UGH! It is so depressing!

Please I need some words of wisdom!

Honey, don't worry about it. I've been on the skinny side and on the fat side and those type of men who are saying those things are not the type of man you want in the first place. Quality men will take the time to get to know you. Besides, you'd have to be 110 lbs or less for most men to think you're not fat. Keep your head up. You sound like a great person and the RIGHT person will come along. Be picky.

See, that is my problem! I am ALREADY too picky! LOL

There is no such thing as being too picky !! Keep your head up, Beautiful !!! The right one will come along and there will be no doubt in your mind about it !!

Congrats on losing 94 lbs! Great job! Your always going to come across rude people, never mind them. I know it's hard, and hurtful. Use that anger to drive you in a positive way.... Remember how far you have come. Don't let the words of one stupid a$$ guy ruin your happiness. Typical shallow guy! thinking with the wrong head! Be proud of who you are! This guy is obviously not a very nice person. Trust me there are still plenty of good men out there. Mr. right will not be so judgmental and love you for who you are. And for your accomplishments. You go girl!~Cheryl

There's no such thing as being too picky when it comes to the opposite sex. Lol...

Amen to that! lol

Those guys sound like losers with a capital L.. I would be just mean enough to confront them and tell them you are losing weight but obviously they can't fix Stupid.  I would then tell the bartender they are being rude to you and ask him to move them elsewhere...a good bartender will do that for you ... just be sure to leave him a good tip.  Next time he will watch out for you ahead of time.

I guess what was stressing me was that it wasn't just at one place - but 2 seperate times. I WILL get through it, it just is such a bummer! Thanks for all your support though!

You just keep on having fun and ignore those shallow aholes.  You are a beautiful girl and in a few months those idiots are going to be wishing that you would notice them.  Keep your head up and don't settle for any guy.  Hold out for the one who will celebrate and elevate you for the diamond that you are!  Brains and personality will take you a lot farther in life than looks will.  Do your thing, girl!