Did you tell anyone?

I think everyone needs to do what works for their own personality and with the people in their lives.

For me, I think my approach of announcing the decision, and having lots of info available to provide about the procedure, about the terrible statistics for diet + exercise, even weblinks to my surgeon, hospital, etc really helped.

I think my friends and family could see that I had researched this throroughly and that I wasn't really asking for their input or opinion, but rather letting them know what the plan was.

Having said that, I haven't discussed it with my students, or with colleagues with whom I would not normally discuss personal matters - if anyone asks or comments about my weight loss (and they probably will in the fall when we return to campus), I will be happy to be candid - because I don't want to perpetuate the myth that my weight, or anyone else's weight, is likely to be significantly reduced by self-control and an iron will!

I've told everyone and their brother, sister, aunt, uncle, dog, cat, and goldfish.   I'll need support, I'll need encouragement, god forbid I need help due to complications, I wanted everyone to know.   Most everyone is either supportive or quietly neutral (which I'd rather have than obnoxiously against and continuously telling me).    My only one voicing negativity is my (overweight) niece.   I suppose there is always one in the crowd.

I told my family that I was researching weight loss surgery, and trying to decide if it was right for me. I shared information with them as I learned about the different surgeries.

That way they were able to listen to the information without feeling worried, since I had not made a definite decision yet. If I had just said "I'm having surgery!" one day I think they might have reacted negatively out of fear. By the time I decided on the sleeve they were used to the idea, and they understood why I felt it was the safest and best way to go. They were also reassured I had spent plenty of time doing research.

I told only my family and close friends. I did not tell any co-workers. I'm not the type to share personal/medical information at work.

 I only have told my boyfriend of 10 years and the two people that own the school where I work. I told one person that I thought would be supportive and she begged me not to do it that anyone she knew that had it done ended up losing the weight and went wild and crazy.
After that I decided not to tell anyone. As far as any one else is concerened I'm having my gallbladder out. This is a very personal decision for me and don't want to be judged. I feel that i have been judged my entire life for being fat and no one is owed an explanation.
But thats just me.

I told everyone before my surgery (except my staff) and in a few cases I regretted it.  After my surgery, I didn't regret telling everyone - and I've had very few negative responses.

One thing I would say is that we all need as much support as we can get!  If you can help your friends and family understand why you've chosen a surgical solution, they may be more supportive than you think.  Lots of folks are under the impression that wls is just experimental, or taking the easy way out.  They don't understand that obesity is a disease and diets don't work for you.

Also, some people see your weight as a part of your identity and they love you now - so in a misguided attempt to support you, they try to discourage you from getting the help you need.  Change is scary for everyone - even though it's your health and it's your body. 

I think if you approach it as simply a health issue (for example, a woman with a bmi of 40 can expect to live over 20 years less than someone in a normal bmi range) then you give yourself the most power.  After all - it's hard to argue with medical facts.  Obesity kills.  Surgery is relatively safe.  Period.

I hope your friends and family surprise you and are supportive and kind!!

Hugs,
Mel

I told several people and received different (and interesting) reactions.

My skinny friend, Linda, and my skinny sister were both very supportive and encouraging and told me how great they thought it was and asked how they could help.

My mother was upset at first and tried to talk me out of it, but after she researched more and talked to some people she became supportive.  She was just really worried, initially.

My fat friend, who I thought would be the most understanding and supportive, immediately made some snarky comments, then told me "Oh So-and-so got it done and gained the weight back."  And then, "I am just going to lose it on my own" in a way that seemed sort of like she was looking down her nose at me.  She never said one thing supportive or "good luck" or anything.  So I never mentioned it to her again.  What's up with that?!

I am a newbie, as well.  SO far I have only talked about it with my Hubby and one of his sisters.  My feeling is by the time I have surgery, most of his family will know,  But as of now I am not planning on telling my family.  Mom and sister are VERY negative.  they live in another state.  Hopefully I won;t have any complicatons so they won;t need to know.  I MAY tell them after the fact and by that point it wil be done so what can they say.

Good luck!!!

Tell people and expect that they will not totally understand and some may react poorly.  But tell people for yourself.  Do it for you because it feels good to be honest and open.

I told no one and I still have told only  3 people. Some one posted that they didn't care what other people said, so I say "why tell them to start with?" I did this for myself and for no one else, so why should they be involved with my decision?

I know of other people that told their family, and some of the family went berserk, and the people had to call off their surgery. Both have since rescheduled, and this time NOT told their family.

A few months after my surgery,  my girl friend of a few years was questioning why I didn't go off my diet when she and I went out to dinner, and I decided it was time for her to know. I loaded the video of the VSG surgery on the computer, sat her down, turned on the video, and left the room. After she watched the video, she asked very few questions.

I had to tell my brother because he told me he was thinking about the "band". After I told him about my thoughts, and my surgery, he said he would wait. Now he told me he was waiting to see how I was doing.

I visited my home town last month, the first time since my surgery and 90 lbs down, and as we all went out to dinner, my other brother sitting across from me said "damn John. What did you do, have a stomach bypass?" I wouldn't lie to anyone, so I just nodded yes. He has since asked me nothing. Both of my brothers are large enough to be concerned with  their health, and both of them have tried many years to lose weight on their own, but to no avail. I applaud the one brother that is trying to get his ducks 'all in a row' for his surgery.

Not telling anyone is my decision, and if I had it to do over again, I still would tell no one...John