We are NOT normal...

I'm not saying ANYTHING is simple.  If it was SIMPLE then quite a few of us wouldn't have needed to have surgery.  I was OVER 300lbs since I was 17 years old.  My highest was 345 and every single time I lost weight I could NEVER get under 300lbs to the point where I honestly thought 300 was MY set point.  So no it's not simple by any stretch of the imagination...and again no where in my post do I believe I said ALL people are addicted to carbs.  Or ALL obese people are addicts.  My post in fact was merely TALKING to anyone *****ad it who could identify with being an addict to food but that doesn't mean I was talking to everybody.

See here is where maybe you don't understand.  There are certain foods that I LOVE and for ME and other addicts cause I PLEASURE when consumed.  In ADDITION like many addicts we don't just STOP at one drink.  Soon it's ok to have two drinks and then more and more until we are spiraling out of control LIKE an addict. 

Addictions like you said have MANY variables and most of then aren't necessarily connected to ONE thing but MANY things and many feelings.  What I am saying is that unlike an alcoholic or "drug" user who can walk away from their drug.  I HAVE to find a balance with mine because I have to eat.  I have to LIVE in a world where it's ok to bring donuts to work, no one brings a bottle or a crack pipe for birthdays and for MANY eating certain foods is the same HIGH.

What I am saying if that if YOU are an addict then keeping CERTAIN foods out of reach is NECESSARY.  Again if you know your trigger is bread then it's NOT ok to have it in the house.  Just like if my trigger was booze it's NOT ok to have it in the house.

Again for SOME addicts moderation works...so what works for the others?  Again I never say ALL for a reason cause what works for ME may not work for YOU and if MODERATION works for some doesn't mean it'll work for ALL so yes MY statement DOES negate adult learning cause ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL!!

I never have nor will I EVER say that ALL obese people are addicts...and my post didn't say that either.  And by the way even MOST DS's need to watch their carb intake cause the "magic" of the DS pertains mainly to fat not carbs.

The ONLY danger is not getting to know YOU and YOUR triggers and YOUR life.  This post was in essense about ME and MY addiction and what I will CONTINUE to look at and post about in the hopes that MY struggles and observations will help someone else.

People are people and as I live and breath I know that we are ALL different..

Ms Shell

Thanks very much for this (and your other posts).

I believe it (and they) was (are) very important on very many different levels.

I wish you the vest best,
Cheryl

Thank YOU for speaking your experience and your views...gave me more to absorb =) and you didn't hijack the thread you added a very valuable perspective...

Wowww.. great post...


Thanks!!


Kelley

Cheryl/Doubleflame

I've been thinking about what you posted this morning and while I agree our reasons for being overweight can have different emotional components, I do believe we all have something in common here... addiction. 

I do not believe you can get to the point of needing WLS without having some form of addiction to food.  You state that some folks just like to eat and therefore that is why they are fat.  Eating past fullness and satiety to a level that would land you in the morbidly obese catetorgy would indicate that something is going on beyond simply liking to eat.

Please don't be offended... but I wondered after reading your post if you were in some kind of denial.  The reason I say it might be a possibility is that I, too, used to think like you do.  Even coming into surgery and for the past few months have off and on tried to be "normal".  The post Ms. Shell made really hit me because it woke me up to something.  I am not normal.  For whatever reason I use food like an alcoholic uses alcohol or a drug addict uses drugs... I use it to soothe, calm, cheer, relieve boredom, celebrate... you name it... I use food for it. 

Do I like to eat?  Absolutely!  But I would be remiss if I said there was not addiction. 

I think denial comes when we are not ready to face you have a problem.  Much like the alcoholic who says he has it under control... but really doesn't and continues to try to drink.  Until we identify the things we use for these emotional addictions and abstain from them, I don't think we are being honest with ourselves.  We're still trying to be "normal", when in fact we aren't and never will be.

I don't mean to offend... just wanted to throw that out there.

Laura Ann

Hi Laura,

I have to agree with Cheryl, you can absolutely become obese without being addicted to food. I'm proof of that, and there are a few others on the boards as well. We may be in the minority, but it's a little bothersome to read  the word ALL when something doesn't apply to you.

There are lots of ways to become obese, food addiction is just one of them. Some medications can make someone put on weight rapidly even if they have always been thin. Serious illness can do it. Pregnancy is a big one, we've all seen women temporarily change their eating habits thinking it's good for the baby and then the weight will not come off. I know I personally have gone through periods in my life when I was so busy I would pretty much eat whatever junk someone served me- not because it was soothing or calming, but just because I didn't have time to seek out healthy food.

I see a lot of people are struggling with these issues you mention, maybe most, just keep in mind people are different and what made you gain weight might not be what made me gain weight.

Jen 

In my post I was truly speaking to "ALL" the food addicts or those of us who are.  I would never say that ALL obese people are addicts and if my post IMPLIED that I am sorry.  I was talking ONLY to those who are/might be/think they are addicts...

I LOVE the minority cause yall help me learn =)
 

You know I'll have to re-read my post cause when I post anything it's usually off the cuff what I am feeling at the moment.  I do NOT believe that all fat people are addicts and as such addicted to food.  Now when I referenced the YOU in my post it was NOT my intention that EVERYBODY and by that every YOU on these forums or addicts.  It's like another alcoholic knows another alcoholic etc, but not everyone who likes to drink is an alcoholic.  I was specifically referring to those like myself who believe they have a food addiction.

I didn't think I said that "some folks just like to eat and therefore that is why they are fat."  I would NEVER say that so gain if I did it wasn't my intent.  There is so MUCH more to obesity then JUST eating.  There is your metabolic make up, your genenitic history, and all sorts of things, which is why I mentioned my brother and myself while genetically from the same parents have TWO entirely different connections with food and body make ups.  You mention fullness and saiety well that's yet ANOTHER case cause many don't get to the point of being satiated etc, but that too doesn't make them an addict.

There is nothing that would OFFEND me.  But I'm confused about what I am in denial about?  I mean personally I have always known I wasn't normal, that's part of why I come to these boards everyday to help me to be "more" accountable.  I have always considered myself a food  addict and have watched for transfer addictions cause my LOVE of sex and alcohol run a close second to my love of food.  My dysfunctional relationship with food has been ongoing since I was very very small and have NO doubt just like an alcoholic who claims sobriety at 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 years yada yada of recovery so will I.  And like I said a food addiction is harder then others cause I have to interact with my food on a meal to meal basis, so again I'm not sure about what you think I'm in denial about?

Don't worry about defending me...it's not possible.  I'm here to learn and grown and if folks see stuff that maybe I don't I appreciate them calling me on it.

MS Shell

I think she was saying that those of us who don't think we are food addicts are the ones in denial, not you.

Ahhh thanks for that =)