We are NOT normal...
On April 14, 2010 at 1:44 PM Pacific Time, Ms Shell wrote:
And when I say WE I'm referring to those of US who are basically for lack of a better word ADDICTS...yup I said it I AM an addict and I called YOU one as well. We are NOT normal so matter how much we WANT to be. No matter how much weight we've LOST. No matter how great we eat TODAY. No matter WHATEVER you are thinking that MAKES you think you are NORMAL you just aren't.I don't know about YOU but I've lost weight before and then my DRUG came back into my life and I gained it back....hmmm wonder if anyone else experienced that?? Just because an alcoholic is clean and sober for 2 years does that mean it's OK for him to have an "occassional" drink? Do you really think the addiction is gone?
I was on the phone today with my good friend and we have our usual weight related convo and in that convo she shared she was up about 10-15lbs from her low. I shared I was up 10lbs but AGAIN giving up the TON of carbs and alcohol I WAS consuming and I'm down 5 of those and I was like we just are NOT normal and YES many of us are ADDICTS...the only difference between us and DRUG addicts is that they aren't SURROUNDED by their drug of choice. They don't have to sit down EVERY day at EVERY meal and make nicey nicey with their drug. And we do!! I'm 40 years old and while I have never personally been exposed to say an alcoholic I have seen "movies" and the like and I remember when an alcoholic falls off the wagon it's due to that first DRINK...just one and often they don't have a problem drinking again until BAM they have a problem.
This is what I'm telling my girl cause I MAINTAINED my weight for a year and I was eating carbs until this year and BAM I'm gaining weight. Why cause after awhile of eating like a "normal" person my ADDICTIVE person took over and said ONE was ok so let's have TWO, or wait THREE would be real nice!!
I told my girlfriend who lives with a "normie" that it's interesting cause if she were an alcoholic I'm SURE she wouldn't be ok with them buying alcohol and leaving it around or crack or a little herion. But it's TOTALLY ok to buy chips and bread and ice cream etc to have on HAND for our husbands, wives, children etc and we'll just have to DEAL with having that STUFF in the house.
WLS is so NOT the answer or the cure. Just because my stomach is smaller does NOT mean I'm not an addict. Just because I can't eat a DOZEN doughnuts does NOT mean I can eat 1 an hour. I am constantly surrounded by my friends who have lost weight thought they were normal and then BAM.
Where am I going with this post...as always I am wherever my posts take me and hopefully it resonates with someone. So I've CLEANED out my house and PURGED it again. If the people in MY life need their drug they'll have to find it on the streets cause for the interest of MY healthy I can't KEEP allowing those foods BACK in.
I must must MUST keep reminding myself... I'm an ADDICT and I'll always be one. I am NOT normal, but I look GOOD!!
MS Shell
Thank you for posting this!!
So very TRUE!!!
AMEN!!
Lap Band March 2007
Band Slipped -Emergency Removal May 2008
Dr. Lopez Corvala- Hospital Angeles TJ
VSG Jan. 28th, 2010
Dr. Almanza-Jerusalem Clinic
Band Slipped -Emergency Removal May 2008
Dr. Lopez Corvala- Hospital Angeles TJ
VSG Jan. 28th, 2010
Dr. Almanza-Jerusalem Clinic
i knew there was a reason i made a quick stop at OH before I left the office for my appt. You speak my life. I so want to be normal and every time I try to be it bites me in the you know what. Now that the grandkids are in my life I buy things for them HAH!!! they never see it and don't need it. Who am I trying to kid. If I want to keep the weight off this time I have to eat like the addict I am - stay away from my drug of choice- chocolate! It has the same effect on me that alcohol has on the alcoholic. Good news bad news is I'm not slobbering and falling down drunk - at least not on the outside - on the inside I feel the same shame abusing my drug that an alcoholic or drug addict does using theirs. So I am glad I made this quick stop - it will help me get through the chocolate cravings of today and motivate me to stop and the gym before I pick up the grandkids. I use to have a button that said Why be normal?? Acceptance of my addiction is part of the path to recovery!
Preach on Ms Shell!!!
I went to lunch the other day with some friends.
they know I have had the surgery but they kept offering me bites of stuff and bread and what not.
I finally had to remind them that I not only shouldn't, but couldn't in some cases.
they both felt horrible and I had to tell them it was OK several times.
the temptation was almost overwhelming.
the next day i slipped and ate some of the bread from a sandwich I picked up for lunch.(because I forgot to bring mine.)
I was miserable for a few hours. I knew I shouldn't eat it, I knew it was going to make me feel bad and i knew it would cause carb cravings and I did it anyway.
its hard to eat right. If it were easy no one would be over weight.
The important thing to remember is we are doing something about it. Keep on track, and stay on the boards so we can keep each other honest!
I went to lunch the other day with some friends.
they know I have had the surgery but they kept offering me bites of stuff and bread and what not.
I finally had to remind them that I not only shouldn't, but couldn't in some cases.
they both felt horrible and I had to tell them it was OK several times.
the temptation was almost overwhelming.
the next day i slipped and ate some of the bread from a sandwich I picked up for lunch.(because I forgot to bring mine.)
I was miserable for a few hours. I knew I shouldn't eat it, I knew it was going to make me feel bad and i knew it would cause carb cravings and I did it anyway.
its hard to eat right. If it were easy no one would be over weight.
The important thing to remember is we are doing something about it. Keep on track, and stay on the boards so we can keep each other honest!
You know it's funny or sad that you type this literally because if you were a recovering alcoholic your friends would NOT offer you a drink!! WE and THEY need to realize that some of us are truly addicts and contrary to popular belief ONE bite DOES matter!!
Believe me I won't stray far or for long =)
Believe me I won't stray far or for long =)
"WLS is only for people who are ready to move past the "diet" mentality" ~Alison Brown
"WLS is not a Do-Over (repeat same mistakes = get a similar outcome.) It is a Do-BETTER (make lifestyle changes you can continue forever.)" ~ Michele Vicara aka Eggface
Could not agree more!!!! My Dad is an alcoholic and has been sober for 6 years and so him and I have had some very frank discussions about how my addiction is very similar to his. My theory is though that a food addiction is actually harder to deal with ... Dad was like huh?? I said to him - 'you don't have to have 1 bourbon for breakfast, lunch and dinner and try and keep it at that' and he looked at me and said he'd never thought of it like that and agreed there'd be no way he could stay 'on the wagon' if those were the rules.
I am TERRIFIED every day that I might 'go back'!! I am 100% convinced that I couldn't have done it without this surgery but every day I am scared that my addiction will win and I will be the fat and miserable person I was before.
The pleasure I get from being thin is insane!! It is everything I hoped it would be and it gives me such a sense of freedom which is why I am so terrified of going back but I also know that this addiction is INSANE and it is possible.
Carbs have made a bit of a comeback into my life (which adds to the fear) and I do have such a sense of deja vu when I wake up in the morning and say to myself 'ok no carbs today!' - I guess it is just a matter of taking it 'one day at a time'!!!
Cheers for the post Ms Shell - good to remind us why a lot of us got here in the first place :)
I am TERRIFIED every day that I might 'go back'!! I am 100% convinced that I couldn't have done it without this surgery but every day I am scared that my addiction will win and I will be the fat and miserable person I was before.
The pleasure I get from being thin is insane!! It is everything I hoped it would be and it gives me such a sense of freedom which is why I am so terrified of going back but I also know that this addiction is INSANE and it is possible.
Carbs have made a bit of a comeback into my life (which adds to the fear) and I do have such a sense of deja vu when I wake up in the morning and say to myself 'ok no carbs today!' - I guess it is just a matter of taking it 'one day at a time'!!!
Cheers for the post Ms Shell - good to remind us why a lot of us got here in the first place :)
I say TAKE strength from your father. I can't wait to be "sober" for 6 years ya know!! Congratulations to him and YES food addition IS harder =( but we stay in the fight on a daily basis!!
"WLS is only for people who are ready to move past the "diet" mentality" ~Alison Brown
"WLS is not a Do-Over (repeat same mistakes = get a similar outcome.) It is a Do-BETTER (make lifestyle changes you can continue forever.)" ~ Michele Vicara aka Eggface
I was just thinking about this and whether we are addicts or not. So glad you decided to post for us.
While I think most of us are addicts, or addicts in certain respects, unfortunately we cannot treat ourselves like addicts. At least not in the traditional sense. An alcoholic might go cold turkey and never drink again, a drug addict, the same. I don't have that option. And I suppose you can set aside certain foods as being the drug, and the rest of the foods as okay, I can't. So I'm going to have to be the alcoholic who gets sober, even though she has to buy alcohol, mix drinks, and have a drin****asionally. I'm just hoping that the surgery will give me a good deal of the control to not go overboard.
I know I'll have to be around food, in fact I love to cook. There are food commercials and smells almost everywhere we go. I know I'm just going to have to learn to deal with it. I'm hoping WLS will help me with that learning curve.
I totally agree with you on never forgetting that we are addicts, though. I already know this is going to be an every-day battle for me. Sadly, there is no golden ticket. I will still have to figure things out.
While I think most of us are addicts, or addicts in certain respects, unfortunately we cannot treat ourselves like addicts. At least not in the traditional sense. An alcoholic might go cold turkey and never drink again, a drug addict, the same. I don't have that option. And I suppose you can set aside certain foods as being the drug, and the rest of the foods as okay, I can't. So I'm going to have to be the alcoholic who gets sober, even though she has to buy alcohol, mix drinks, and have a drin****asionally. I'm just hoping that the surgery will give me a good deal of the control to not go overboard.
I know I'll have to be around food, in fact I love to cook. There are food commercials and smells almost everywhere we go. I know I'm just going to have to learn to deal with it. I'm hoping WLS will help me with that learning curve.
I totally agree with you on never forgetting that we are addicts, though. I already know this is going to be an every-day battle for me. Sadly, there is no golden ticket. I will still have to figure things out.
You are absolutely right. I've recently read studies that show that the brain responds to food addiction and herion addiction in the same way. Both of them start with one hit, or say, one piece of chocolate. At first, the one piece is enough...endorphins are released in your brain and you feel pleasure. But just like any drug, it soon takes more and more to have that same reaction to the endorphins. A lot of "normal" people don't realize how hard it is for overweight people to stop themselves sometimes, because they don't really believe it's an addiction.
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