Feeling down...

I had my sleep study. No sleep apnea. I needed to have two co-morbidities to qualify since my BMI was under 40 at the doctors office in June. I went to see the doctor the other day because I was sick and I stood on the scale....15lb weight gain. I didn't try to gain the weight. I had actually been doing more exercise etc. I was almost in tears. I realize the things I've done to accommodate my weight gain. I don't buy clothes because they are cute. I buy clothes that fit. I feel horrible about myself. SO DISAPPOINTED. I'm in this horrible love affair with food. I made another appt with the bariatric surgeon because my BMI is over 40 now. 

There are so many ups and downs in this process of getting surgery, and I've come here to post a number of times when I've felt stalled, or down or just out of sorts.  Things will most definitely improve when you move forward with your surgery.  Now that you're (likely) eligible for coverage under your insurance, you can start working on getting ready for surgery, which is also a long but fulfilling process. This time period waiting to know what you're going to do is definitely a challenge.  I hope that you'll get your OK now to move forward - once you've made this decision, everything starts to fall into place.  I think you'll be fine :-)