Why we overeat in the first place
People overeat and stuff themselves in order to feel good. It's the pleasure factor that we are all after when we eat. When we stuff ourselves or give ourselves sweets, we actually are feeding the hormones in our body that give us pleasure sensations and those are the same sensations we get when we feel loved. We are as addicted to that sensation whenever we choose to overeat, get drunk or take drugs. All of them give us pleasure and all of us are seeking it. People just don't understand that food is an addiction just like alcohol and drugs.
I personally realized that I was stuffing myself because I never had the love of my parents. My mother abandoned me because she chose to be an alcoholic and my father chose to love his second wife more than me and I ended up living with friends and other relatives all of my life. My father died when I was 15 and my mother died when I was 20. I harbored anger and bitterness towards them all of my life and chose to 'fill that void' with food because it made me feel good like being loved feels good. When I realized that fact, it helped me deal with the whole overeating issue itself. When I chose to forgive my parents and love them despite their failures, the desire to overeat went away. Granted, the surgery happened before I did that and the weight came off but I've managed to overcome the 'food is my life' issue because I chose to forgive.
See, when you think about it, the people who have surgery are forced to first drink liquids the first week. Then they graduate to more solid liquids the second week. Then they graduate to soft foods after that and eventually get to regular food but in small increments from then on. If you stop and think about it, if a person would eat like that without surgery they would lose just as much weight as if they didn't have the surgery in the first place.
People regain their weight because they never dealt with the issue of why they overate in the first place. They thought that the surgery would cure the whole fat issue and it doesn't. They learn how to graze all day or stretch their pouch back out and then wonder why they've regained most or all of their weight.
A person's weight issue will never be solved with surgery. It can only be cured by finding out why you are overeating and deal with that first and then learn to LISTEN to your body and only eating WHAT and WHEN it wants to eat. People think that 'mouth hunger' is real hunger but it isn't. Overweight people usually don't know what it's like to feel a hunger pain because they don't get to that point. Food is their life. They live to eat instead of eating to live. No one really realizes how little food the body needs for fuel each day.
If you ask me if I would have had the surgery again, I would tell you no. Most WLSers aren't that way. I would have chosen to cure myself mentally first and then listened to my body and learned what it really wanted and when it wanted it instead of just throwing food down it when I saw a commercial or smelled food cooking.
I don't know what decision is best for you but I do know that you must love yourself enough to cure the inside before you cure the outside, however you choose to do that is up to you.
I understand what you're saying, as I had a similar experience. Feeding myself with delicious food (which I associated with my grandmother and love) took over my life when I would become unhappy or unsatisfied in other areas of my life. Having the VSG forced me to not overeat, to stop and think. After hundreds of other diets, I know I couldn't have done this with just my mental power.
I'm an accomplished pofessional person, I've achieved some pretty complicated goals, but I do not have the power to limit my food intake without the help of this surgery, and the community of friends and supporters that I have gained through this surgery. Maybe you could have done it all just by force of mind and will -- I've tried so many times, and I know I'm just too good at rationalizing and making excuses.
The VSG is a powerful tool for me, and gives me that extra push that I never had before. I can't do the wrong thing now without serious and immediate physical consequences. Maybe I'm just that stubborn that I need that kind of feedback.
But it has also given me a period of time to think deeply, to confront the internal issues that have motivated my behavior, and to see that my life is so much better when I take responsibility for everything I put into my body. I am worth caring for, and the VSG was the best choice I could have made to help me see that. Of course, it would have been nice to not have the surgery -- but when I weigh it all out -- it was the only thing that could have worked for me. I have tried everything else. Everything. I know that for me, I needed help. VSG gave that to me, and I am grateful for it.
I'm an accomplished pofessional person, I've achieved some pretty complicated goals, but I do not have the power to limit my food intake without the help of this surgery, and the community of friends and supporters that I have gained through this surgery. Maybe you could have done it all just by force of mind and will -- I've tried so many times, and I know I'm just too good at rationalizing and making excuses.
The VSG is a powerful tool for me, and gives me that extra push that I never had before. I can't do the wrong thing now without serious and immediate physical consequences. Maybe I'm just that stubborn that I need that kind of feedback.
But it has also given me a period of time to think deeply, to confront the internal issues that have motivated my behavior, and to see that my life is so much better when I take responsibility for everything I put into my body. I am worth caring for, and the VSG was the best choice I could have made to help me see that. Of course, it would have been nice to not have the surgery -- but when I weigh it all out -- it was the only thing that could have worked for me. I have tried everything else. Everything. I know that for me, I needed help. VSG gave that to me, and I am grateful for it.