Updated Profile - Please No Flames

I thought I posted this on the Virginia Message Board until I got a bunch of responses from people all over the country, then I realized I had posted it in the wrong place. I updated my profile last week. I will be 18 months post op next month. I am due for my 18 month check up in Late Feb early March, but I have decided not to go. I will no longer be following up with my surgeon. I started having abdominal pain last spring. Back and forth, my PCP said see your surgeon, my surgeon said see your PCP, my PCP ran a ultrasound and nothing. No results, nothing. I had to make an appointment to hear I was OK. My PCP said I really need to be dealing with my surgeon since I have had no other medical issues, and no other surgeries. Again, I call back my surgeon's office, they still insist it isn't them and my PCP should be treating me. My PCP finally said she wants me to see a GI Doctor. I saw my surgeon in Sept for my 1 yr followup and he said I do not need to see a GI Doc, my PCP should be able to treat me, its not him, but he ordered a $5300 CAT Scan anyways. Its January, no one from my surgeon's office has called or mailed me the results. Unfortunately, my insurance no longer covers WLS, so I cannot change surgeons. My husband lost his job back in August, and the PT job he has now does not have insurance, so there is no other insurance option for me. My life has been total hell with my husband loosing his job. He's been working PT, but we still are swiming in debt. My old friend food has come back and caused me to gain a good 15-20lbs back. I do what I can. I get my protein, my calcium and multivitamins. I have no problem with fluids. I hit the gym pretty much at least once a week, when I dont have meetings and such, I go more. I don't need a bunch of flaming posts that I need to continue to followup with a practice that clearly doesn't care I hurt every day. Even if I wanted to followup, because of my insurance no longer covering WLS, any blood work and tests he orders will cost me a fortune. I know I should go back for followups, go to support groups and all of that. But I am over it right now. I feel like they got their $25,000 from my insurance and now they don't need me anymore. I will followup with my PCP and OBGYN as normal. I plan to keep with the overall game plan and stick to the "rules" as much as I can. I do what I can food wise and I love the gym. I want to get these 15-20lbs back off and get back to my life. Hubby is steadily looking for a new job, we have an appt with a financial counselor to weigh our options and hopefully everything will be OK. The thing that tears me up, is Hubby is now thinking about having the GB as soon as he gets insurance to cover it, or if my insurance changes their tune. I hate to send him back to a practice I'm not happy with. Just venting.................. Leland

Leland- I hope that you start to feel better and that someone finally listens to you enough to get you the help you need. Please take care of yourself. Best of luck in your hubby's job search also. It can be such a trying time in a marriage. Also, one thought...your hubby doesn't have to go to the same surgeon you had...he can choose someone new based on his insurance and research. Maybe find someone who values follow-up more than your surgeon seems too. Just thought I'd send my happy thoughts to you... Christina S

No flame throwing here! I have had similar experiences in the past with my Dr.s wanting to pass me around and no one taking responsibility for helping me. The team of Dr.'s I have now are very good about communicating with eachother and getting my needs met. I too have been without health insurance (for 2 years) in the past and understand that aspect of not wanting to follow-up with your surgeon. Also why see a Dr. that could care less about you and your recovery/wellness? My go**** does sound like you are going through hell. I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time right now. When I have gone through tough times, I've been told that my #1 priority is to take good care of myself. Look out for my own best self interest. I see you are looking out for your best self interest by not going back to a Dr. that is not receptive or sensitive to your needs. I hope you get feeling better, (some of it may be from all the stress you are going through), and that life turns around and is kind to you. I don't know you but I care. As I said before I have had similar cir****tances and thought I was going to go out of my mind. If you need someone to "vent" with feel free to e-mail me via OH. Take Care. Lisa

Hello Leland - I'm working on a 15 lb increase myself. Ive yet to find the "magic wand" you mentioned in your profile - as far as weight loss success and long term happiness. It's a day to day battle - and quite frankly, for me, WILL BE for LIFE. I wish *I* had the metabolism of the rest of my family. Buncha' Hawaiians, Germans, Filipinoes and Japanese peeps mixed into my blood line. No one, not one single person, has EVER had a weight problem. They shovel the food back like each meal is an endless buffet and don't gain an ounce. Me? I just walk past the buffet line - not even glancing in the direction of the food, and 5 lbs latches on to my body. It sucks and I hate that for some reason, I've been dealt those cards, such is life. I know for ME - it WILL be a forever battle and I hope like hell I can continue to win the long fight, although obviously there will be days (by my recent weight gain) that I will lose a few. Don't let the fact that your surgeon is a jerk, is less then interested and has been little to NO help, get you down. In the long run the ONLY one that you can (and should) depend on for your long term health is YOURSELF. I have NOT seen my surgeon or ANY weight loss surgeon (for follow up care) since I was 3 months post op. That's when we left Washington state and moved to Virginia. ALL of my follow up care has been micro-managed by myself. Hell, I don't even have a "regular PCP" I can bond or form a patient relationship with. Since moving here, the military has assigned me FIVE different PCP's - because the Docs keep transferring out. For that reason, I take complete control of my health, I do the flow charts on my blood work, I do the research on possible health issues that come up and in the last three years there have been several ...and I try to educate EACH and EVERY new PCP that is tossed my way. It's tiresome, it's a pain in the butt and quite frankly, it gets OLD, but I know for the sake of ME, my long term health and my life, it's the way it is. The stress that you are under right now is EXTREME! Unemployment and debt is very difficult to deal with in the best and healthiest of circomstances - add to that, you trying to lose weight, stay in shape, regain your health, etc - it stands to reason things will begin to fall apart or shake itself loose. That does NOT mean you've failed - just means you're human. I don't feel like a failure because I gained 15 pounds, nope, it just means I need to refocus and start making the RIGHT choices again. Until you can get the income/job aspect of life straightened out - maybe your best plan of defense is to at least control the TYPE of foods you bring into the house? For me, I decided to mix-up my typical daily eating habits. I've incorporated BREAKFAST into my routine and I truly can feel the difference in the "need to eat". [the article on "breakfast" that prompted this turn around for me can be found on my Jan. 23rd profile update] My intense desire to munch, eat, graze, etc through out the day has tapered off after introducing breakfast to my routine. Imagine that! I've also up'd my water to 120 oz a day - pure H20. I've purged the house of MOST of the reckless wasteful carbs and stocked up on much healthier alternatives. I honestly don't know if I can ever get rid of the demon that wants (NEEDS) to always be eating/munching, but I know I can CONTROL just what it eats. Lots of finger veggies (carrots, celery, cuke's, tomatoes, radishes). Also, the denser snacks like Turkey Pepperoni, Jerky CHIPS (yummy!), Fish Jerky, Dried scallops and Li Hing Mui dried fruits (from Hawaii). If the bad crap is NOT in my home I can't eat it, and I promise you, Im TOO lazy to get in the car and drive to a store at 8:00 at night, cause Im craving tater' chips. When I sit down to a MEAL, I'm passing on the rolls or bread and focusing on the denser proteins first. Which in turns only allows room for only a few bites of the carbs and/or veggies. You started off your post with "Please NO FLAMES" ..I hope you don't view "shared experiences and advice" as FLAMES, it's not meant as such. I know when Im in a deep dark place that I feel I can't crawl out of, sometimes it takes 'shared experiences' to help me find my way. Ive got another 10 ½ lbs to lose. I suspect it's gonna take MUCH longer for those to leave, but I'll just keep plugging along - one day, one bite, one pound at a time. It's all ANY of us can do. I CAN do it - I AM worth it! ....and ya' know what? SO ARE YOU!!!! If you ever want to get together, just to vent, talk, scream, cry, all of the above, let me know! -- Lei .

Lei, Dried Scallops? You've got to tell me where you get them! I am a BIG seafood fan. I love steamed shrimp! I've always been a breakfast person. Its 10am and I've already had 27 grams of protein, so I think I am doing OK in that respect. Meals wise, I do OK. Its the damn snacking. To **** me off even further, I mention to my husband last night that I would like to try him on a low carb diet. This morning I get up, and he has gone to Wally World during the night and purchased 3 packs of Lance crackers and a box of ice cream sandwiches!!! He works nights so he's up all night SNACKING! I did go to the gym last night like a good girl. I have a coworker in town from Chicago (she does triatholons) so she will be going with me tonight and tomorrow. (I will need a break to recop from trying to keep up with her). I am taking off this Friday because my brother in law is in the re-enlistment ceremony on the USS Wisconsin. So before we head to that, I am going over to the Chesapeake Rec, I don't really have the $30 for Brian and I to join, but I am spending it anyways. He's off every Monday and some Wednesdays, so if he's off, I'm making his butt go over there with me and work out! (and I am hoping he might like it enough to go during the day). Its like $350 for him to renew his membership at Bally's right now, so we will wait on that. After that, we have an appt to go over our finances. I get paid on Mondays so that is when I normally do my grocery shopping. So I am going to try to get rid of the crap we have around the house this weekend and prepare for some good stuff for next week. I just have to focus on the things that my husband likes, even if I have to *gasp* Cook. There is the whole line between what is easy and what is good. I take the easy road. I have to get out of that and get both of us on track to loose more. If I could just get 20-25 more lbs off, I'll die happy. I know I will never be a skinny mini and thats fine. I'm going to call and make an appt with my PCP today, I need a prescription refill and I need to find out if maybe SHE can get the results of the CAT Scan from my surgeon. I think I might take her advice and see a GI Doc. Hopefully, he can get them to send over the ultrasound and the CAT Scan so he doesn't have to order new $5500 tests! I think what kills me the most in this pain drama is the fact that my surgeon thinks the pain is my body telling me I have to poop. I'm 31 yrs old, I know what that feels like. NEVER has my SIDE told me I needed to go. Where he is getting this, I don't know. The whole thing is just frustrating!

Hello again Leland - LOL - another seafood lover, huh? Me TOO!! I'll eat it anyway it's served, raw, broiled, grilled, fried, steamed, and/or DRIED! Can never get too much of my fishies! As far as where to get it? I've been KNOWN to find it at some of the local Japanese stores. The one that tends to stock the biggest variety is the one on Great Neck and VaBeach Blvd. I don't know the name of it, but it's that BIG ASIAN MARKET PLACE in the shopping center behind Pollard Chicken (if that helps). If you're at those cross roads - coming from the direction of Rosemount, it's on the left hand side of the street. It's a hit and miss as to whether or not they'll have the dried scallops (which is so much 'friendlier' with my teeth - ive got bad teeth, and it's a softer chewier kinda texture) ....BUT they also have a variety of dried fishes that are ALL good. One of my favorites, as a kid, was Spicey Cuttlefish (which is dried fish) also, Teriyaki Cuttlefish - or Dried Octopus and Dried Squid - yummy!!!!! It's the same concept as Beef Jerky (Dried beef) but it's FISH! Very low in calories and very HIGH in protien. Also - I have a company from Hawaii that I place orders with, when I just don't have time to make it to the Asian Market, or if they're out of what I want. It's called www.cybersnacks.net ...They also carry my Li Hing Mui and Hawaiian Dried fruits that I crave - so sometimes, it's just easier to the one stop shopping. Im going to include the LINK for their Seafood Items so you can at least take a look and get an "idea and description" of what's available and then can try to find it at the Japanese store. Sometimes whats sold at the store is NOT sold under the same "name" so if you have a visual and an understanding for what you're looking for, that'll make it easier. http://www.cybersnacks.net/seafood.html GOOD LUCK TO YOU on taking back control of your life and health. You CAN do it, youre a very intelligent woman, all you need to do now is make YOURSELF a priority in life again. Sometimes all the crap that gets thrown our way tends to take top billing and "we" get bumped down the list. Move yourself back to the TOP, where you belong. YOU come first, all else (yep, even the hubby) is secondary - because without your health and happiness you won't be much help to anyone. Your game plan sounds like a winner. Clean out the house this weekend, restock it on Monday with 'better' choices and incorporate the GYM back into your daily routine. That sounds like success in the makings! - Lei (gloss over the typos, Im in turbo mode) .

Lei, I never thought of hitting an Asian market. Of course, there isn't one out in my neck of the woods in Western Branch. But I am doing a scrapbook thing this Saturday at the Oceanfront, so I might swing by there since its not out of the way. There is a Latino market that opened up in my neighborhood. Its real small though. I love whatever seafood I can get. Our favorite restaurant that we hit every Sunday for football has steamed shrimp as an appetizer, well I can get about 2/3 of them down. I dont like the butter too much, but I will eat a little dab of ****tail sauce. I'm funny with seafood though. I would eat it 3 meals a day, but don't ask me to cook it, I don't want that stinky stuff in my house! I really love crab. All of the cracking and picky gives me something to do between bites while I am chewing. I am going to sit down and plan out our menu for the next couple of weeks and focus on what Brian likes, meats and veggies. He prefers ground turkey over beef once he saw that there is no fat to drain afterwards, he gladly helps when we have turkey to fry up. I think he went into panic mode last night when I mentioned diet. He always thinks he is going to starve and get like one piece of lettuce a day. I'm just going to have to be sneaky about it, and not let him know I've cut the crap out of his diet. He needs to loose more than 100lbs so I know the diet and making him go to the rec won't permanently solve the problem, but hopefully, some reduction in weight will make him feel better. Thanks for the tip on the snack, I am going to check that place out. I eat turkey jerkey everyday and I love it, so that sounds good too! Leland

. LOL - um, LELAND??? I forgot to tell you, don't let the PRICES on the web site scare you, okay? It really IS cheaper at the local stores - plus no shipping! That's strictly to give you an idea and a visual! Sorry - shoulda told you that in the first post. .