Emergency-Need you NOT FLAME

Hello I am truly trying once again to reach out. I am making ZERO excuses and it is all my fault I know this. I posted to the main board around six months ago and got flamed for my post. I can't seem to get back on track. Let me give you a little background. Dec 17, 2003 Surgery Spent month in hospital three surgeries almost died Lost 101 lbs. Down from 270 to 169. Gained back to 200 Took Manager's position Feb 2005 Eating due to stress Menopausal Foot Surgery 5 mths ago. Ordered NOT to exercise Possibly have to have another foot surgery in six weeks NOT doing any vitamins, little protein, and no water (or very little) Ok can I get some help and NOT Flamed here with you all. I know I am doing wrong you don't have to tell me that. I just need motivation. I can't seem to get it. I have a closet full of TIGHT clothes again. I don't want to gain this back. I was suppose to go to my surgeon last May did not want him to see my gain so I didn't go. No one says you look so nice any more. I know what they are thinking. Of Course I feel sorry for myself. But, because I have gained back. I know it is MY FAULT. It all began for me again When I started drinking sodas that I am ADDICTED to again. I can eat as much as I ever did. Believe me. I do not DUMP.

Sweetie, Not going to flame you at all... but you know what you have to do. Make a ck list of everything you have to do in a day....vitamins water, protein etc... and work off of that sheet. Its gonna take a little while to get back on track but you will get there. I am having some issues of my own so I can relate to some of what you are saying. My heart goes out to you. Quit beating yourself up. Love yourself and your energy instead... and stay strong... you will get there...not overnight but you will do it. A question that was posed to me the other day kind of stuck so maybe it will help... What have you done today that made YOU proud of YOURSELF??? I have that posted on my door to remind several times daily that I need to behave or get back on track... Hugs... Wanda

Wanda! That is a great idea! A check list! I love it! I make to do lists for everything in my life, I don't know why I never thought of it for my eating and vitamins and whatnot! You are awesome! Thank you so much! I'm going to make something official in Excel now. Yeah, I'm just wasting time at work, but this is gonna be AWESOME! You rock, Wanda! Lacey

Wanda Thanks for your comments. I am trying desperately to get in the mindset to start over. I gotta get out of the depression or self-pity that I wallow in daily. I am Proud that I have become the site manager at work and done an okay job.

Debbie, No one would ever flame you here , The first thing I see you have done positive is look at what you are doing and recognize it . GREAT .. Now .. it is time to regain and use your tool . I have some information I would love to send you . It may help you to get back on track . I lead a support group in my area and find this among my members as well . Let me know if I can help . Take care , Natalie PS -- Email me and I can send it to you . HUGS ..

thanks for not flaming. When I posted a few months back to the main messageboard. I got ridiculed big time. I know the perosn thought they were helping but it DID not. It only drove me away for months. I want to use my tool if I have not stretched it beyond repair.

Start keeping a food diary. I find it a great reminder throughout the day of how much I am putting in my mouth. Sometimes you need to go through the 'motions' first to retrain yourself. Force your body to get back with the program, and let it help convince you mind to follow. Switch to diet sodas, whether you like them or not. You'll either NOT drink soda at all, OR drink something that is not a poison to you, like sugar is. My prayers go out to you, Lois

I wish I had never looked at a soda. I gotta stop cold turkey

Hi Debbie, I know how you feel. We have all been in your position whether it was pre op or post op. Please don't get down and blame yourself. Talk to yourself nicely and get back on track. It can be a slow process. First start cutting back on the soda then eventually stop. Start your protein drinks and snacks again, and water. It may be a gradual step. It took you a while to get off track and it will take a while to get back. So one day at a time. Even if you can only handle one change a week. Like the sodas or more water. Before long you will totally be back in the saddle. My thoughts and prayers are with you. ALso about the exercise. My back is so out of whack I can't walk or do work outs. We can sit in the chair with 2 cans of soup and do arm lifts. Sit on the edge of the chair and do the lifts while twisiting at the waist. Lay in bed and do leg exercises. Any movement counts! I am supporting you. Ginny

I talk to my self but that hateful old hag with the big butt and low self-esteem answers. I was alot better before my foot surgery It has got me down