What is wrong?

K I KNOW I'm not alone when I ask the question where were all these people who are coming out of the wood work to talk to me before WLS? Was it that I just sat in the corner hoping no one would notice me and all my "excess baggage" or the fact that I was an eye sore? WTH was/is it? I mean I am the same woman in many aspects. Yes, I have changed some but to be honest it's outwardly more than inwardly. I have never thought of myself as ugly but at the same time never beautiful or pretty or other nice things I've been told and that have been said to me. I find myself questioning where it's all coming from. I go out now and have men I don't even know hitting on me left and right and asking me to dance and talking to me about anything and everything. I am not trying to be conceited or what ever today's term is but I am trying to reason with myself why and how and where all this is coming from? Am I missing something? Others can't imagine what goes through my head when I get compliments, looks etc. It is still to this day hard for me to accept at times. I will be 3 years post op Jan. 29th and for the record I feel like I've done amazingly well. I lost 178 lb by 16-18 months post op and then got preggers. I gained 45 lb and am hovering around 166 lb. I want to lose 35 or so more at least reaching the 140's. I have this tool and it's obvious it works. Just need to focus and get the rest I want off. Basically could ya'll help shed some light on why is it such a struggle for me still? Anyone else feeling like this? Hugs, Kitty Kat

While I'm not as senior a Post-Oper as you, I do know what you mean. It doesn't necessarily make me feel uncomfortable when I get compliments; but I often find myself not knowing what to say in return. Perhaps we really should over analyze the odd feelings we get as a result; but rather take it for what it is....a compliment...say "Thank You" and carry on. Keith

K thank you Sensei Keith for your insight! Is my thinking as well. I rather enjoy the compliments. Guess I just need to be thankful versus guarded and skeptical. We on for another dance soon? Hugs, Kitty Kat

I won't be dancing with anyone if I don't get some $$$$ to David soon! Guess I'll have to email him and see if I can run it up there to him. Keith

Personally for me it is hard to find the mix of where people ignored you because you were heavy (aka discriminiation) versus people ignored you because you didn't put yourself out there and made yourself approachable. I don't know about you but I walk differently, carry myself differently, smile now, embrace people socially (I don't mean hugs - I mean acknowledge them), etc...now that I'm smaller. I'm sure that being 100+ lbs heavier I projected someone who was in general unhappy, unhealthy, etc. I think it is a mix of both situations, ya know what I'm saying here? LOL. So now with new founded attention...you wonder if that many people discriminate against heavy people. But then I have to look at myself and say what did I put out there before for them to see. I take some of the responsibility for the attention that I get now. It isn't all about the weight. Hugs, Kathy

Yep, I know what you are saying. Although I feel differently (I put myself out there tons because I felt like my weight overshadowed me) I see your point of view. Oh I take responsibility (learning to more often that is) for the attention I get now it's just that I tend to be leary of others because I cannot really understand it at times. It is like the saying Perception IS Reality. This I know is all in the journey of me finding myself and realizing my weaknesses and instead of being leary, skeptical etc I need to refocus my energy on accepting that there may be truth to what is being said. It's often hard to break the cycle. Guess I'm hard headed more than anything. Thanks Kathy Hugs, Kitty Kat

I am still almost 300 lbs and am now getting hit on by guys who I'm sure would never have given me the time of day before. I will say this: I'm glad I married my soulmate before I lost the weight, because since this surgery, when I get hit on, I'm not sure if I should feel complimented or insulted. I know it's partly because of my attitude now, being so much happier, apt to smile, etc, but I've always had a very, very poor body image and the weight loss has really helped. You're doing great, Kat. Just remember to be yourself, be open and try not to be too distrustful. I mean, maybe the people who are approaching you now, aren't the type who ignored you before. Or maybe they are, but the point is, don't judge them before you get to know them. Just like we all think people judged us by our weight before our losses. Hugs, Tonya

Being myself is the easy part. It's learning to accept things such as compliments. That very well could be. Those who ignored me or I THOUGHT were ignoring me may not have at all. To be honest when I was heavy I did get attention but I felt it was more for my goofy personality versus looks etc. Now, when I get compliments and such it's more along the lines of "you are gorgeous", "you are sexy", "you are so beautiful" etc. For me I've been told those things but I tend to wonder what is behind them. K so basically I get it. I need to look inside myself and realize people DO like me for me and there isn't always another motive. You've made some very good points. Thanks Tonya Hugs, Kitty Kat

Girl, we had a talk about this the first time I was in Richmond, remember?? When the compliments come along just say thank you I know how you feel, and I think Kathy said it best. We just plain feel better, which opens us up to more people, and along with the compliments. Just take them in stride, and never forget where you came from!! Love you! Dianna

Yep, we did. It is hard for me and I guess it's because I haven't allowed myself to believe this. Yes, I hear this from my husband and from my family and friends but it is an issue for ME versus others. I do feel so much better and I gather I give off happy vibes. I am proud of myself and want others to know it. So maybe it is me all along who has given off the vibes that attract all this attention. No worries beautiful! I will NEVER forget where I've come from. I am thankful EVERYDAY I got to experience it because it's made me who I am today. I love you too! Thank you Hugs, Kitty Kat